Oh this is a tough one. I think you may be better leaving your daughter with relatives or friends in the UK for the 3 months so as not to disrupt her schooling rather than having her try to integrate into a totally different school system (Greek) in a language that she doesn't know. If she came to Canada, at least there is a good chance that her schooling would be in English, unless you are going to Quebec!

Children do not necessarily appreciate change, but in my opinion, I think she should come with you. The 'always wanted to live in Cyprus' may be true, but she's probably never lived there long term, just on holiday with you, and it would be opening a far nastier can of worms to let her 'leave' you for her grandparents than for her to remain with you and go to Canada. My son didn't want to come to France when his dad got a job there, but there was no question of him doing anything else. The family moves together. You may have to harden your heart, and 'make' her come, because at 13 she is still a minor and under her parents' legal responsibilities. But I do appreciate that it could signal a very rough period for you all.

And how do your parents feel about having a teenager (with all their good and bad points) living with them? It may not be all sunshine!

GOOD LUCK IN WHATEVER YOU DECIDE.

Thank you for the advice there Alascienne, yea i feel the exact same way as you do, im just coming from her points of view now the hole 3 month trial thing is just for my husband while we stay in the U.K & then its his chance to come back & tell us what he thinks of it the longest my daughter has stayed there before is 7 weeks. & thats not a huge amount of time comparing to a life time. so we will just have to see what happens from now.
thanks again
courtneelouise

p.s
the grandparents - teenager thing i hope will be fine. shes different from some teenagers, like my niece couldn't live there for a dare!. shes very different to others, i don't know what way to put it , a sensible/reliable type of person?. or you could say mature for her age!.

now the hole 3 month trial thing is just for my husband while we stay in the U.K

I think that gives the answer CourtneeLouise! You'll all stay behind in the UK and nothing will change for your daughter. Of course if you could afford for all of you to go and visit your husband during his stay, it will help her picture what the reality of life out there is. But I know that that's rather pricey unless you win the lottery!

Glad to hear that she's such a love, and you have every reason to be proud of her.

My advice would be to take it a step at a time - wait and see if your husband likes the job etc and wants to extend this 3 month trial into something more longterm first. He might decide that he likes the thought of settling down in Canada even less than your daughter does! In which case end of problem

Re schooling - if you want her to go to an English language medium school in Cyprus then you're probably going to have to go private. In which case how about exploring the option of her going to a boarding school here in the UK and joining you and the rest of the family during the school holidays? Or her grandparents in Cyprus for that matter? Depending on the nature of your husband's contract, his employer might be willing to contribute to school fees. In this instance, if they want him enough you might have some leverage if you present the scenario that you don't want to disrupt your daughter's schooling in the English system (she'll be starting her GCSE preparation this autumn I assume?) and hint that having to move her to Canada with you could be a deal-breaker for you.

SM

I cannot give any advice about moving to another country. But I can say I could not bear to be parted from my 12 year old daughter - despite regular arguments, tantrums, messy bedrooms, fleecing me for money, etc. All kids think it would be great to live with their grandparents. They don't say no as much as mum and dad. But living with someone and being on holiday (especially with grandparents you don't see too often) are two completely different things.