All of the beach resorts aim to attract tourists so you will find night clubs, tourist traps and may appear tacky. All of them have traditional Spanish parts with great typically Spanish restaurants, you just need to look harder in some resorts than others. Transport links are very good and the coaches that go to Cadiz, Granada, Cordoba and Seville pass through them all.
As for being "coupley", I suppose that depends on what you are looking for. The best beach in the area is Cabopino, quiet, great landscape, clean and good facilities. La cala is a very quiet family oriented place but is not very Spanish any more, Fuengirola and Torremolinos get bad press but they are both great if you take the trouble to look past the tourist traps. I don't know Benalmadena well but liked the Pueblo and hated the Costa, the Marina is very nice. Marbella is great though expensive, Puerto Banus even more so. Old Town Marbella is a must see when you come over, not to be missed. Its handy to have a car of course.

If you don't need to be based on the coast, Mijas is enchanting, very Spanish but so Spanish that the tourist buses come and go all day. I have a B&B there and recent guests have all had the usual routine, either Alhambra or Seville or the beach all day, tapas, paella, sangria and romantic dinner overlooking the Med. Whatever you choose you will have a great time.

Thanks for that, it's given us plenty to think about.

To savour some history a must see is the city of Cordoba(can get hot in summer 45 degrees) The main attraction is of course the Mesquita,but a walk around the town is a must.A good guide is essential.Cordoba at its height had the largest population in Europe,some 600,000.
Whilst here try and visit the Caliphs palace,on the outskirts of the city.

We have just come back from Algeciras and you could not get more Spanish than that. We stayed at the Reina Christina Hotel which is not a 'bucket & spade' hotel. Perfect for couples. Saturday night is when the locals have their Saturday night hop, an experience not to miss! Ideally a car is needed, we covered Tariffa, Cadiz, Jerez, Seville, Estepona, Gibraltar & Ronda in a week.

We found staying in Nerja was pretty good for getting to Cordoba and Granada.

Torreblanca/Los Boliches every time. Good bars, shops, restaurants, cool, narrow streets, handy for the train and Fuengirola, one stop down the line, if you want to dip in and out of someplace a bit more livelier.. plus vast expanses of beaches and promenade for the daily constitution... perfect staging post

We are staying in La Carihuela this June/July so may pop into Los Boliches as I've read it's nice

Take the train down from Torremolinos or El Pinillo... alight at Los Boliches, an elevated station, down the steps is an El Cortes Ingles on one side and one block and a square on the other side is the seafront. There's also a fish and veg market by the station. In between, all the way down to Fuengi, is a myriad of small, interesting streets full of little bars, restaurants and all manner of shops... no tack (Except on the seafront). Well worth the trip down but go early, before noon, or much later in the afternoon, to be sure everything will be open. Enjoy

Actually, a thought just occurred... if you are going n July, Google and check the date of the Festival del Carmen, the local Saint. It climaxes with a fantastic parade and fireworks display as the fishermen, in traditional dress, carry the Saint from the local church, through those wee, narrow streets, and down to sea, when they march in neck high, to bless the catch for the following year. Worth seeing for anyone in the area in July

Many thanks Jim for all your tips will certainly take notes
I also fancy taking a look round Cabopino as it looks a nice little place:- http://www.cabopino.net/ Don't know if it's do able though

Cabopino is lovely but you'd need a car to get there from Carahuela, otherwise you're talking several changes of bus

Thanks Jim. Will think about car hire in resort as Carihuela doesn't seem that good for parking.

Nothing can beat Cordoba for me, beautiful place though it doesn't have a beach. There is definitely enough to do without it though. Especially if you have a pool at the hotel. We went for the Macia chain and they are very good.