Welcome back, Tony. They let you out, then? I'm glad you're writing a report and look forward to reading the rest of it. Hope you didn't lose the new camera. Will you be posting the odd photo?

Oh i was just getting into that then....

hi richard,
thanks for the welcome back,still got the camera,will be posting some photo's sadly didn't manage to get any of the type i would not be allowed to post on ht,jaynes eyes were far to sharp,lol.
here we go then al321,are we sitting comfortably.
day 2.
late start today overslept,missed breakfast,so straight down to the pool where we re-newed old friendships,but were also sad as some of the staff had not returned this season.
pretty uneventful day today,just lazing around the pool drinking and chatting with old friends,after our evening meal we watched the animation team put on there show in the amphitheatre, this happens every night and is always very professional.after a few more drinks it was on to the night club,as i walked through the doors i turned my head immediatly to the left,this is, and was where turkay the owner of the hotel stands most nights,i was greeted as always with a smile a firm hand shake and a kiss on both cheeks (being an essex boy i still aint got used to blokes wanting to kiss me)this is the man who keeps me out till all hours and i just knew this holiday was going to be no different,but i didn't know just how different it was going to get.
as our girls are now teenagers we allowed them to come to the club with us for the first time,they loved it.jayne (my partner)retired to the room with the girls around 1.30,i was kidnapped and forced to stay out drinking with turkay and the management team,i hated every minute,honest.
staggered home around 4.30.
to be continued...

day 3
woke at 10.30 feeling very sorry for myself,i had missed breakfast again,but the way i was feeling it was probably best that i had missed it,there seems to be a pattern forming already with the breakfast thing.
once i had got my head together and my sun glasses on,it was time to head down to the pool area,most of the day was spent here apart from the hour spent snorkeling in the sea.
after the evening meal it was showtime again then nightclub.
i had promised not to stay tonight as i was still in jaynes bad books,oops.
it didn't take long to break that promise tho,as during the evening i spoke with turkay about the new sign that had gone up,stating that drinks had to be payed for after 2 o'clock,he promptly gave me a card with his signature on it that allowed me to have what i wanted at no extra cost,after that great gesture it would have been very rude to have left him early,beat day two's time,tumbled in at 5 am.
oh and for my own safety im not going to include in this report the part of the evening when i was offered not 1 but 2 russian ladies(enough said)
why dont those type of offers come along when your single,doh.
to be continued...

day 4.
wow,cant believe it,we have made breakfast,not even a hangover,mainly coz im still in a alcohol related state.
the girls went to the beach to give the canoes a go,while myself and jayne set about some serious sunbathing,on our way to the restaurant in the evening we bumped into turkay,whilst walking with him i mentioned about the food and how it gets a bit repetitive and that its geared up for the russian taste buds,his reply was,not a problem,go and see the head chef,tell him i have sent you,and he will cook you special meals that are not available to other guests,upon meeting the chef i requested that the meals be hot and spicy,and didn't mind what he made,30 minutes later i was being served a plate full of chicken breast and fillet steak with a drizzled chili and pepper sauce (fantastic)and the look on the other guests faces was almost as good.after that lovely meal it was show time and nightclub again,but tonight im being a good boy and went home early.
but not after mentioning to turkay that i had heard so much talk of efes beer,he promptly replied,i shall get you some,and true to his word,the following night there it was,2 weeks worth,all for me,also a bottle of jd and enough bianco to keep jayne going for the duration of the holiday,all this was at no extra cost to us,amazing.
to be continued...

It's lucky that you rarely touch alcohol, isn't it? Herself is obviously a saint.

Really enjoying this report, sounds like you were well spoilt by the owner!

day 5.
that early night did the trick,we are up and made it for breakfast,managed to tare ourselves away from the sunbeds today,we tried our hands at bocha (kind of like french bowles) then onto the archery.
right,back to the sunbeds now,dont want to be doing to much in one day.
evening arrives and its time to visit the chef,but this time im to ask for two meals,jayne has finally had enough of looking at my lovely grub and has decided that its time she had some special treatment,as im into very spicy food but jayne is not,the saying we came up with for chef was,one hot one not please chef,why he found this so funny every night i will never know.
lovely meal arrived at the table again,sliced best fillet of steak with mushrooms and green chilli's in a thick spicy sauce.
once again off to the show then club,but tonight the club was going to be different,there was to be a foam party,jayne and i had seen this last year,so we knew were to go in the club as to avoid the endless amount of foam and water,the girls on the other hand were having a blast and headed straight out onto the dance floor.
at around 12.00 the drink had got the better of jayne and me,we could no longer resist the urge to be 18 again,so off into the waist high bubbles and began to boogie (great fun).
i took the girls home around 1 o'clock then promptly returned to the club,after drying off we joined turkay and his russian friends for drinks outside the club at his table,what a weird conversation that was,turkish,english and russian being spoken and somehow we were all understanding each other,must have been the efes and jd.
to be continued...

day 6.
went to breakfast alone,couldn't raise the gang,took breakfast back to the room for them,but it wasn't eaten,wont be doing that again.
spent the day around the pool enjoying and watching our girls joining in the pool games with the animation team.
i was invited to play in a football match,tourists against the staff - kick off at 10.30 pm,promptly said yes,thinking once again that i was still a teenager banging the goals in, it didn't take long for me to realise that im not,i lasted 6 minutes of the first half and almost had an heart attack,tried again in the second half and only lasted 4 minutes,sadly the beer,fags and being in my late 40s have taken there toll,but at least i now know for definate that football for me is a spectators sport.
only managed a few beers in the club tonight,wimped out and headed home early,as i didn't have any goals or moves to bragg about,although i did come close to scoring(and im not talking russian women again).
oh nearly forgot - caviar starter followed by steak in chili sauce for dinner.
to be continued...

Welcome home bibbs ( ALL ) the family o.k.

Blupeterno1

yes everyones fine but not very happy about being back home,except my liver,thats more than happy to be home,lol,many thanks bluepeterno1

day 7.
its jaynes day today,f.a.cup final day,shes a chelsea fanatic,and as im an
a s e n a l fan im going for man utd just to wind her up,for those of you that do not follow football chelsea won on the day,after she had finished doing her lap of honor around the turkish cafe,screaming and shouting,and getting some very strange looks from the russian tourists,we went back to the room for a quick wash and brush up,its posh night tonight,all the tables and food are set up outside around the pool area,and everywhere is decked in red and white,while everyone was helping themselves to the buffet and bar-b-q i spotted my waiter through the crowd carrying my meal,for tonight i had crispy duck in chili sauce (fantastic).
after the meal there was to be one game of bingo to be played,as jayne loves her bingo and has won it here before,she thought that she would try again,the prize being a free ai holiday for the following season,what a day this is turning out for her today,first her team wins the fa cup then she wins the bingo,3 years of visiting this hotel and wins 2 holidays,she was given her prize along with a bottle of champagne from the animation team,but this was promptly taken off of her and replaced by the real deal by sonay-turkays brother,who insisted that if you are to drink champagne it has to be the real thing and not the cheap stuff thats given away,we sat with sonay watching the fireworks display and got through two bottles of champagne,priced at £150 a bottle,im so glad that i was not picking up that tab.just a few beers in the club tonight,its been a long day,so its back to the room with one very happy lady on my arm,shes had a great day.
even when we noticed on the winning ticket,the holiday was for one person it didn't matter,it will still lower the total cost of next years holiday she says with a beaming smile.
to be continued...

Absolutely brilliant Bibbs i have really enjoyed reading your review

thanks doodles,stay tuned there's so much more to come,

Ive really enjoyed reading that bibbs, cant wait for the next installment.

then here it is loulou,
day 8.
didn't get up until 11,very late start today,just lazed around the pool until 5,had a late evening meal,consisting of spicy chicken and onion salad,as usual watched the show then onto the club,only managed an hour tonight,feeling a bit burnt out.
back at the room jayne and the girls decided to crack open the bottle of bubbly that was given to her by sonay the other night,this was mixed with orange juice from the mini bar,to make up bucksfizz,and the three of them sat there happily drinking and munching on the nuts from the mini bar,now normaly four people on one bed would be rather crowded,but what ive failed to mention so far is the size of our bed,it has to be 7ft wide and 7ft long,its the biggest bed ive ever seen in my life,so big in fact it took me nearly an hour to find jayne in the dark on our first night of lurve,anyway enough of that and back to the mini bar,yet another great touch by turkay,he had told house keeping to replenish it every time that something had been taken and not to charge,its contents were,2 cans of lager,1 large bottle of coke,1 carton or orange juice,2 bags of nuts and 3 large bottles of water,boy did that fridge take a beating.
to be continued...

I've really enjoyed this but feel so sorry for your poor liver

no need to worry,its pickled.
day 9.
early start today,made breakfast.
we've had fantastic weather up to now,but todays not going to be pleasant,rained for most of the day,so we spent most of it in the room,turned out to be a blessing really,it was nice to just lay on the bed and watch a bit of tele and play a few hands of cards.
late afternoon came and we got the biggest surprise of the holiday,we were asked to be at reception for 6 o'clock as there was a car arranged,it was taking us to antalya to visit turkays sisters fish restaurant for our evening meal,what a class night that was,taken and brought back by a limo type motor,felt very strange and a little embarrassing when we arrived,as there were security with earpieces waiting at the kerb side,they opened the car door and then did what all body guards do,one hand up to the ear piece and looking left and right while they escorted us to the main doors,who did turkay say was coming tonight,we are the bibbs not the beckhams.
we were seated at the table that overlooked the cliffs and down to the sea,an outstanding position to sit and have a lovely meal.
the waiter arrived with a trolley full with what i thought was a choice of starters,so i was pointing at this one and that one,then saying to jayne look at this one,looks nice doesn't it,the waiter left but soon returned and almost filled the table with everything that i had pointed to (how stupid did i feel)30 minutes later we had somehow eaten through the banquet,only for the waiter to appear and ask what would we like for our main course,with a deep breath and a puff of the cheeks i replied ,can i have fish cooked the turkish way (trying very hard to sound like i knew what i was talking about)jayne and the girls elected for a meat dish,a short time passed then out came the trolley again,this time carrying a huge white block,i think it may of been salt ?,once it was positioned at the table the waiter set fire to it,once the flames and gone out he broke it open with a hammer and there inside was my fish,a very big fish,cant say what it was as i only eat rock eel at home,lol,then came the part that was really unbelievable,the waiter began going through the fish taking every bone out before placing it on my plate,and wow what a taste it was fantastic.
after a few beers we were escorted around the harbor and castle area,had a quick look around some of the shops and then driven back to zigana,all for the pricey sum of nothing.
got back to the hotel around 11.30,so i decided to go to the club to thank turkay for his very generous gift,oops yes you guessed it,got home at 5.30.
to be continued...

How you aren't in deep trouble with your other half i really don't know Sounds absolutely fantastic.