I don't want to be negative, and am not having a go if this is what you want then best of luck to you. An old college friend of mine however met a Turkish man on holiday, went back to see him 6 months later and ended up coming home pregnant. He followed her back into this country, but it went all wrong from there. He found it too hard to change to our ways, was too shy to find work (she thought he was just lazy)!! He stayed at home all day while she went to work, then wanted her to had over her wages. It lasted 6 months then she bought him a ticket back to Turkey (one way)!! She was left as a single mum to bring up the lad!

"Far too many marriages these days are entered into lightly".

I would be inclined to disagree with you on that one. I would say less people get married today than compared with previous years. There is less pressure to marry and the reasons from previous years are entirely different too.

OK ! Perhaps then I should have said far too many marriages end up in divorce, before they've really begun.

Now I will agree with you on that one.

I am a single parent, was with my daughters father of Jamaican decent for 11 years until we split, culture played a large part BUT nothing that could not be overcome if worked at. Funny old world. I just hope this lady manages to work things out and does what's right, I wish her all the lucj in the world. X

Ruth unfortunately the reality is, there is actually more pressure put on you to marry sooner than you might, when you're in a relationship with a non-EU national who doesn't live in the same country as you. Because otherwise, unless you go live there, there is very little option to be together except to get married and apply for a settlement visa to the UK. A non-EU national can't usually work here legally unless on a settlement visa, they can't work on a holiday or fiance visa.

To my mind, thats yet another reason to be as sure as you possibly can that what you're embarking on is the right thing, not just right now, but for the future. I'll go further and say its very difficult to judge a person's true character when you're in holiday mode with them, or you only manage to stay with them for a fortnight at a time. If they've a mind to, anyone can put on a show for that length of time. You need to experience the rough and the smooth, and be able to gauge your partners reactions through them, to have any idea if you're compatible.

Elaine

When i read this topic at first i thought i was on a marraige guidence site ,and the more i read it the more i am sure .

Bluepeterno1

As the OP has not posted since their initial post perhaps we should wait for further input before commenting further.

luci

Ok I think there is enough information in the topic for yalikavac lizzy to get the answers that she wants.

I am going to lock this topic now, as the debate about whether she is doing the right thing or what his motives are, am sure would continue forever.

Kath x

I would just like to thank everyone for their thoughts and opinions. I didnt realise it would cause such a stir, it seems everyone has an opinion on english woman/turkish men. I am planning on taking things slowly and getting to know my boyfriend before rushing into things as I own my own home and have two daughters and therefore have a lot to lose should things not work out. I would just like to say that I was married to an english man who turned out to be a rat in many ways, so I don pre-judge anyone these days whatever their nationality. I would also like to say that ideally he wants me to move to turkey but obviously I cant just up sticks and move there, hence why I was asking for information on the issues of him moving here should this eventually be the course we take.

I have merged your post for you yalikavac lizzy

Hope you get things sorted.
Kath x