Have you considered Turunc?

http://www.turunc-village.com/

Icmeler seems to tick all your boxes. Lovely beach hotels (big and small) only 2 nightclubs in the whole resort and nowhere near the beach. music gets turned down at midnight, however you can stay in the restaurants and bars till long after closing if you want.
the resort is flat so no issues with mobility and would take some beating for warmth, beauty and hospitality.

popsicle,

You might find members Resort Reports useful.

Darren

Turunc sounds perfect for you, everything is very central, basically one street runs through the village lined with bars and restaurants, parallel with the beach, and is pedestrianised at night. Everything is within a few minutes walk, but there is a lot to choose from. There's also several small, friendly family run apartments and hotels. There are sunshades on the beach, and most of the bars will bring you food and drink to your sunbed, so you don't have to get up if you don't want to! You can get a dolmus or taxi boat easily to Marmaris and Icmeler if you want a complete change of scenery.
It's a very laid-back resort with everything on the doorstep, but if you want to get out and about there are plenty of trips you can do.
Have a good time wherever you choose!

Turunc is a lovely bay. We stayed in the Zebek hotel which is on the front. It is very small and friendly. Or, closer to Dalaman airport, is Akyaka. This is my favourite place on the turquoise coast. Or my favourite place in Turkey, Cesme, nr to Izmir airport. Cesme is a traditional Turkish resort.

How about Bitez? It is a smallish, fairly quiet resort with some nice hotels and apartments, plenty of good restaurants and a few bars. The beach is nice there part shingle, part sand and there is plenty of shade as some of the places along the front have those big cushions and hammocks under the tres plus loads of umbrellas. You don't have to hire sunbeds or umbrellas anywhere, you can use them free of charge as long as you have a couple of drinks or some lunch at the restaurant where you are sitting. It is also all completely flat and nothing is too far from anything else.

It is also less than an hour from the airport.

Kedi

Why not try Calis Beach. The resort is not too big and it is easy to get around and is flat. It has a long promenard running right along the beach which is closed to traffic and if you are up to it you can have a stroll along after dinner. The promenard is also lined with restaurants and bars which serve all kinds of food from the inexpensive to higher end cuisine and the sunsets are amazing.

If you wish to venture further there is a water taxi or a dolmus which can take you to Fethiye. Here you can eat in the old town or on the harbour and also book boat trips.

Kalkan is a definite no no for you but I agree about Icmeler, it ticks all your boxes. Checkout Babadan Apartments.

Les

Thank you all so much for bothering to reply - your advice is very useful and I have looked at the resort reviews for all places you have mentioned and am going to present the choice to hubby this weekend and see which one he fancies.
Much appreciated - thanks again

If you want the beach close to the hotel then you will not get better than Belek .All the hotels are situated right on the beach where you can just walk out the hotel and walk through the grounds and you are right there ,plenty of sunbeds laid out with parasols and side tables ,also lots of areas with large canvas canopies if it gets to hot for you ,granted there is a wee bit to go into Belek town ,but these hotels have everything you would want without having to go outside .A really relaxing holiday especially if you need the rest.

Peter