sorry to ask a strange question but
we have been talking of going on holiday with friends & their kids. which we were happy to do but now they have invited friends to come along that we don't really no & now were not sure if we want to go?
we have been away with them before & no problems it's just we have children younger than them & feel ours will be left out & the other 2 families will have a different sort of holiday from us as their children are old enough to do their own thing
we feel a little biffed thhat they asked the other family with out checking with us that it would be ok first.
i feel like i want to say to our friends that we feel like this but i'm not sure how they would take it.
my hubby is now saying he would like just us & the kids to go away?
Have you actually booked it or are you just at the planning stage?
If this invites discussion or they are a bit funny about it, then maybe you can sit down and talk about what everyone wants out of the holiday and what you are likely to actually get.
It is a difficult one, but only you know your friends and whether they are likely to go off on one about this kind of thing.
Talk to your friends about it..but ultimately, it is your holiday and you should do what feels right for you and your family.
I'd be a tad miffed too. They should of cleared it with you first, especially as you don't know them that well.
I'd let them know how you feel, if they are good friends, they'll understand.
I'd still end up going away but probably do what we want as a family rather than stick within the group.
Good luck.
Personally, if it was me and I didn't know this other couple then I wouldn't go. I would talk to my friend and tell them how I felt, if they are good friends they'll understand and it shouldn't be a big deal and they shouldn't be offended.
Holidays are meant to be stress free and fun - I don't think this one would be, it's often difficult to go away with 3 couples as 2 usually naturally pair off. For instance when we go out with my best friend and her hubby and my SIL and BIL I always feel piggy in the middle and that I have to give them both the same amount of attention. I could not handle that on holiday.
We would rather go by ourselves and do our own things.
To much hassle trying to please other people, going to places and doing things you may not want to do and go to.
Do whats best for you and yours.
Personally I'd be shocked that my friends would invite another family that I didn't even know without asking me!
We have friends who invite us over and when we get here they have invited other friends who we don't know so instead of having a nice time in their company we have to "share " them with people we don't know and have to make polite conversation with people we don't know.
Now put that into a holiday setting, add kids you don't know..adults you don't know..I think it would be stressful. When you're paying alot of hard earned money for a holiday, you want it to be right for you.
I know what I would do.
I would obviously be upset, but if you look on the positive side, you can have some time with them (when you feel like it) and time with your own family on your own, really you have got the best of both worlds, I think.
Celiajan
You could always suggest that as your children are younger you feel that you may cramp their style. If you do decide to go, do as we do - all meet up beforehand and say that as holidays are expensive everyone should do their own thing. Perhaps meet up for an evening meal, or go to the beach together then go separate ways in the evening.
that way you can meet up if you want when you want rather that being together everyday
Another thing is you thought you were going on holiday with YOUR friend not someone else's, it could make it uncomfortable if you don't get on and it could be awkward having to be polite all holiday and make general conversation whilst wishing you'd never booked up in the first place.
If you have to save hard for a whole year for a special family holiday and you have a bad time, that year takes a hell of a time to come round again if you know what I mean, just say you have changed your mind and don't think it would be a good idea as the age ranges differ etc and would prefer a family holiday 'together'for yourself. If he/she is a good friend she shouldn't take offence.
One year when I was a teenager we were going away with relatives and on the morning we were going we turned up at the house, because we were travelling down to our holiday in our two cars, we got there and they had invited two relatives from the "other side" of their family who we did not know.
We felt a bit miffed. When we got to the holiday place they seemed to not to be as friendly with us, and the people they had brought didn't want to know. It did cause a bit of a rift, and there was unfortunately bad feeling.
We didn't go away with them again.
Dawnie-Rob
Last year we went with family and again if your needs and wants are different to theirs someone always ends up compromising. Doesn't make for a perfect holiday for anyone.
Sometimes you just have to do what is right for you and in your case that isn't selfish as the situation is not of your making. Holidays are much needed and shouldn't be stressful either before, during or after.
Good luck
Pam
I have been on holiday with very good friends and because i found it hard to to say 'do you mind if we do our own thing today' we spent the whole time together, needless to say we dont speak anymore :lol:.
Stick to your gut instinct dont go, put yourself out of misery and them and go just your own little family, its a lot of money to waste if you dont enjoy it.
When we had booked a holiday my friend said to me very nervously 'ohh my brother might fly out for a couple of days if he can get the time off' that was my wedding abroad
what seems right for some people isnt for everyone
I am in a similar situation.Friends (not especially close)asked if we were going to Turkey soon,when I said we would probably go away in June they asked if they could come with us as they have never been.We thought we would go SC and try all the lovely restaurants in Icmeler.They like HB.They dont like the beach or sitting by the pool they just like walking around the resort.I have told them it is a bit hot in June during the day.In the meantime other friends who we met last year in Marmaris phoned and said they are thinking of going in June.I have just changed a dental appt so we can go for up to 2 weeks as this may put them off as they only want to go for a week.I had tried to put them off by telling them the flights were not good times and the transfer took almost 2 hours but it didnt deter them!.
You are obviously concerned about their feelings.
That sounds like a recipe for a very uncomfortable holiday to me!
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