Stay and comfort your mom in law, also give love and comfort to the poor man who is obviously dying, no one can give the love that they both need at this sad time, you can go on many holidays in your lifetime and you have so little time left as a family.
Take care, God bless Danny

Pompey this is such a difficult decision for you to have to make. My sister and I were in a similar position to you when we first visited Goa 10 years ago. My mum had a heart problem which she had lived with for most of her life but she was critically ill in the 3 months before we were due to go to Goa, we didn't think we would be going as she was so ill and we thought she would probably die very soon as she was 83. She did seem to make a slight recovery the week we were due to travel to Goa and she came out of hospital. She was insistent we went on holiday as she said we had lots of life still to live and she wanted us to enjoy ourselves and it would make her unhappy if she thought she was stopping us from travelling. We did go and my mum died at the beginning of our second week. We couldn't get home but my family waited until we got home before having the funeral. We couldn't have been in a better place than Goa though as it is such a spiritual place and the Goan people were fantastic with us and really kind. We walked up the beach from Calangute to Baga (it was very different then 10 years ago) and coped with our grief but we always do the same walk every year we go back and always spend the time talking about our mum and the good times we had, she would have loved Goa but we think we have a piece of her with us when we are in Goa. Our dad also died of cancer, he also had it near his brain and was given 3 months to live but he lived for 6 years. Only you can make the decision what to do but our thoughts are with you as it is a very difficult decision to have to make.

Brenda & Liz

What an awful situation for you, your wife, her Mum & her partner to be in.
My condolences.

If your wife has said for you to go on your own, that means that she doesn't want to go.
You've said that you wouldn't feel comfortable going on your own.
I think from what you've said, you've already made the decision.

Unfortunatley, nobody can make that sort of decision for you.
We would normally be looking forward to 3 weeks in Goa departing 14th Feb, as we have done since 2003.
However, my Mum is on the waiting list for heart valve replacement surgery (and will not be able to do much at all for at least 6 weeks after the operation) so we've put all thought of holidays to one side until we know how things go. The good news is that she was offered a cancellation appointment for 12/2.

But, it's not such a close member of your family - hard decision for you.
I'd be inclined to let your wife make the decision whether she feels comfortable to go. If she'd spend all the time either on the phone, internet or thinking about how things are going, it would spoil the holiday and may even taint Goa for the future for you both.
Just be supportive and make YOUR decision based on what your wife decides.

Regards

Stay - you can go on holiday anytime.

Pomey you don't have to lose your money if you don't go, I'm sure your tour operator will just do an alteration to the booking for you and change it to another date/place. We have done this in the past.

My instict would be to go.But I think I would be wrong.You are really going to have to give your wife the final decision.She will be torn between supporting her Mum and knowing what the holiday means to you both.

She will be suffering a fair amount of guilt whatever decision she makes however if you go on your own it will not be the same and the danger may be that it causes a rift between you if the worst happens while you are away.

Speak to the tour operator and your insurer.

I wish you both well

papa

Pompey, i really do feel fo you and your wife in this difficult time, the worst thing is the not knowing.

i would be inclined to stay just in case, if your wife has already made her decision theni think the only thing you can do is to support and stay with her.

if you went away and something happened it would ruin the holiday for you both as you would be worrying about your wifes mum and not able to enjoy the time out there, just wanting to be home!

wishing you all my condolences and thoughts xx

Only you can make the decision. The holiday must be tempting but...........

I feel you have 2 choices. first ask yourself a question. is this our last chance, ever. for another holiday in Goa. if the answer is yes, ask another. what would give us greater joy. spending precious time with a loved one. or sitting on the beach. for a couple of weeks. if the answer is no. you have your answer. our thoughts are with you all xxx

What a dilemma for you. I have been in a similar situation, not as serious, although the consequences could have been. My husband's blood pressure shot up sky high about 10 days before travelling to Goa and the GP said, "You can't fly if we don't get it down", luckily with a change of medication his blood pressure lowered to a safe level and we DID fly but I can remember how torn I felt. What happens if we can't go? Should I just go alone? I really want to go!!!!! Am I being totally selfish? All these things and MORE went through my mind.......not an easy decision for you to make but I am sure you will come to the right decision for you (and yours). Take care. Fizz

Plenty of sympathy in above posts, so I won't go there, although I do feel for you.

Are you sure that you will not be able to claim money back because they are not married?

As long as you did not omit it from any question asked in your insurance proposal I don't see why there should be a problem.
Or , as in one of the previous posts see if you can change dates etc.

If all else fails I know what I would do.......stay with your wife.
you would not enjoy yourself if you went and the fact that you are asking shows that you know that this is the correct thing to do.
best wishes whatever you decide

Thank you everyone for your kind words.
It is all looking positive with my wife's mums partner so as for now the decision has been made that both my wife and myself will be coming to Goa .
He is feeling more upbeat and still has time left as he is fighting it.
he is a strong minded brave man who will not let cancer take him without putting up a serious fight so knowing what he is like he could be with us for years.
I will be attending the meet at the Carvery on the 25th so will look to seeing some of you there

many thanks again for the kind words

Jamie

Hope you both have a great time.

Papa

Glad things look better for you, have a fantastic holiday.