Yes - Colin and Chris - have a SUPER time, and tell us all about it when you get back.



Fay

No Dizzy, you cannot wangle a free cruise with duplicate tickets

TonyW what do you mean free cruise? It was mearly an innocent question of the duplication problem of his fellow traveller, but I like the way your thinking
If there are spare tickets what should I pack to join you on your cruise next week

I could blend into the background very easily, you wouldn't even know I was there. My only downfall would be the disco, as I love to dance the night away

and I fear that the game would be up.

Dizzy

Fizzy, perhaps both Colin and Chris got duplicates and I could join you boogeying the night away! We could sleep in a lifeboat!

Magsy I'm with you girl. Party,party,party
Dizzy aka Fizzy

We could sleep in a lifeboat!

There`s an idea .........the Lifeboat Cruise Line (LCL has a certain ring to it)

Allisu...........your vouchers have been received, validated, allocated, confirmed tried & DNA tested...........but you`re still not getting a cruise in a Taxi.

Your vouchers have been passed to an affiliated company, LCL who do a nice line in Lifeboat Cruises........there is only one space left so we advise you to accept without delay. (Delay is, after all, OUR department)

Please do not call any of the numbers previously listed as they now belong to gay chat lines. If you try to contact us by internet then we will download a virus which will kill your computer, microwave and blender...........it might not do your cat any good either.

This offer is made without predjudice.

Fay,

I would really like room service but, if not, it will have to be the mashed potato.

Tony

I had not noticed where you live. I love Salisbury - did my teacher training there.

Magsy

It might be a good idea to wait until the 16th April as the QE2 and the QM2 will both be in dock! Perhaps you could take over one of those. There is also a brand new P&O (Arcadia) due in soon. We could all go on the maiden voyage.

Feeling fragile this morning as Juro's tanker called last night. I should really save so that I can buy wine on Melody as I presume the currency is Euros. One advantage of the QE2 is that the currency on board is still dollars and the exchange rate is good so that might be the better ship to go for Magsy. The "Block of Flats" as the QM2 is popularly known as in Southampton is sterling. The QE2 also has 100 single cabins!

Maureen H

Tony W - why do I get the feeling that your Taxi Cruise isn't genuine In contrast, my Back Garden Cruise is totally guaranteed. Unless, of course, I can claim I haven't received your details, forms, bank info, goody bag, hefty donation to my newly-inaugurated Charity (Bogus Anonymous), and other matters yet to be decided - all will be revealed when my T&Cs are finally published.

MEH - OK, 1 kg of mashed potatoes it is then. Room service isn't available as there are no rooms in my Back Garden.



Fay's Enterprises Anonymous

Aaaaahhhh Tony the Entrepreneur, always with an eye to the MAIN chance! Dizzy and I are obviously already packing for next week but that does not preclude booking anothe LCL cruise a little later! You will need to release one of those Gay Chat Line numbers for prospective cruisers, come to think of it, all you need to do is train the staff manning those lines to take messages and you are now the proud owner of Gay Chat Lines and a Call Centre!

After all the rubbish cruises on offer from people on this web site I feel I have to let you in on the opportunity of a lifetime!

Yesterday I came home from work to find a holiday brochure on my doorstep. Whilst waiting for my dinner to cook, I flicked through the brochure and

A cruise on the Manchester Ship Canal!

The Manchester Ship Canal Cruise is a truly memorable journey along the 35 mile stretch of canal, and a guide provides a lively commentary of the facts, the history and the dramas of one of Britain's major waterways. This six hour cruise departs from Pier Head Liverpool and runs through to Salford Quays, Manchester. The Canal cruise unfolds spectacular scenery and provides passengers with an awe inspiring sense of how its construction shaped the city of Manchester and the North West of England. the newly refurbished vessels provide first class surroundings and licensed bars and cafes.

Anyone care to join me?



I must stress that this is a genuine cruise from a reputable company.

Hang on......

MANCHESTER?

....and yesterday was 1st April.....

Have I been duped?

Tony of the Terrible Taxi Takeaway (as opposed to Fay's Great Garden Giveaway - well I thought it was till I heard about the dog eating the postman and my application not being received but that of course is an Act of God so Fay cannot be held responsible even if my holiday is delayed till 2050).

Tony - 'this offer is made without prejudice' - No it's not! You do not like my cat.

I don't want a lifeboat cruise - I had saved all my coupons as advised by the Depress newspaper and hoped to get 2 cruises - a garden cruise and a taxi cruise. Unfortunately it seems I am to get neither so will be contacting Miss M. Appears at the Depress in the hope that she will arrange immediatley for me to be booked on a stretch limo taxi in compensation for the distress and trauma suffered by myself and my cat.

Fay - I have kept a copy of my vouchers so will email them to M. Appears who will be in touch with you. I will expect prime accommodation. A fully-serviced swing-hammock (non-stop personal waiter attention) will do nicely.

This offer is made without predjudice

Just to explain that this statement an integral and pivotal part of the full version of T&C, M&M, S&M, A&E, B&Q - you can do-it`s.

By saying `without predjudice` means that we cannot be held liable in any court of law for anything in the statements herein, theron, under, over or whoops upside your head.

It also means that this company adheres to a strict equal opportunities policy.............we treat everyone with the same contempt....no exceptions.

We hope that this clears up any misunderstandings and that derogatory and defametory remarks about Taxi Cruises Intergallactic will desist with immediate effect.

Our legal advisers, Fixit, Bogit and Run are currently examining all posts on this forum which depict this company as anything other than lovely fluffy bunnies that anyone would like to pick up and cuddle.

So be very, very afraid.

Please note that this was not a `threat` under the Internationally recognised meaning of the word `threat`. If you think it was, then we will come around and get you.

Tony

So be very, very afraid

........... of bunny boilers!

Alli, if you boil bunnies long enough they can be very tough!

Jennie - I think it is the real thing, there is a boat, i belive it is called the Royal Iris, that does that trip. They also do party type trips up and down the River Mersey. I wouldn't say don't do it, but i would say if you were going to do it, depending on how far you are coming from, then make sure that it is not the only thing you do in this area (liverpool). There are plenty of things to do here depending on what you like.

Colin

Oooh Colin

There's a very attractive picture of what looks like a converted tug boat in the brochure.

I'll only do it if at least 100 other members come and they all wear HT t -shirts



By the way, have a great time on your cruise - it's certainly more 'up market' than the MSC

Hang on

MSC

surely not.............................

they wouldn't do that to us would they

Hi Jenny,
Unless they make ocean going narrow boats I dont think so!

Hi Jennie,

I feel a little sad that you do not find the prospect of coming to Manchester to sail down the Manchester Ship Canal on The Royal Iris at all inviting. I, on the other hand am looking forward to trip. Apparently there is a meal too. Yes, we do things in style up here.

As for what Colin said about Liverpool, I say ditto for Manchester. A couple of suggestions, if l may,

(1) The corner shop in our street has a new bacon slicer.

(2) The milkman's horse and cart will be leading the parade again this year for the Whit Week Walks .

I could go on, but l don't want to spoil the plethora of surprises in store if you change your mind and decide to give us a whirl

Ta Ra F'now.

Joan.

p.s. has anybody else got the banned thread? I have the 22nd. & 23rd. Nov. and there are signs that all is not well with Louis Cruises. They are denying all knowledge.......and the rest, as they say, is history.

JennieL - no, thanks. Unless transfers are included, along with other goodies like free toenail cutting, and a refund of at least £100 every time I complain (regardless of whether justified).

allisu - thanks for being so understanding re the lost vouchers. As for the rest of your post, I'm afraid (though not VERY afraid) you'll have to wait till my full T&Cs are published.

Update on my Back Garden: the promised blue grass is being laid, by a VERY drunk odd-job person. I have no doubt it will flourish by the time my Back Garden Cruise becomes available.

Update on my solicitors: bad news, I'm afraid (though not VERY afraid). Hapless, Helpless and Hopeless have ceased trading, due to their hair being caught in their blender - they have become liquidized (''in liquidation'' being the official term). I am currently in the process of finding new ones. But first I have to draw up their T&Cs. Top of the list will be ''everything I say is law, regardless of what you have been taught - failure to comply will result in my bringing along the blender which worked so successfully on Hapless Helpless and Hopeless''.



Fay

Aunty Joan........Meeeeyyyy...........

An increasing number of people are cracking me up! I shall miss this when we actually get back on topic with some DE cruise news coming through.

Thanks to the Mods for being so tolerant on this thread whilst we use humour to get through the "dark days"!

I am now waiting for the operators of the Royal Iris to start posting on here.........