There are certain things you expect with any package holiday: flights rammed with chavs, suspect food and service tailored to the herd, not the individual.
With these things in mind, all we really wanted out of this holiday was some guaranteed February heat in pleasant surroundings and within easy flying time of England.

We arrived late on a Sunday night, following the seemingly inevitable transfer delays, and settled down in a modest room in anticipation of a much-needed night's sleep. But at 6.30am we were awoken by the sound of gushing water in the corridor outside out room. Much of the second floor was flooded, including our room. Staff rushed around outside our room trying to mop up the deluge with noisy vacuum cleaners. No assistance was forthcoming. We had to gather our sopping possessions and make our way reception where staff eventually agreed to provide a replacement room [here the plumbing was sound, but the electrics haywire], but refused to offer any apology.

Not wanting to have our holiday spoiled by a shabby hotel, we got on with things, avoided the chavs and had a remarkably pleasant holiday. In particular, we enjoyed a two-day trip taking in the Sahara - and not only because this meant a night away from the Marhaba 'Palace'.

Back at the Palace, eager as we were to put the day one wash out behind us, it was difficult not to notice that almost every aspect of the hotel was not up to scratch.

In particular, the food, even by package holiday standards, was at best repetitive and arguably bland and even unhealthy-hardly what you want from a week of relaxation in a location where the local Mediterranean catch is second to none. What made the eating experience worse were the Communist-style waiting arrangements. Hoards of dickie-bowed and frankly rather gormless 'waiters' seemed incapable of clearing plates, setting tables and fetching drinks, their only tasks in this self-service establishment. At breakfast, one man was assigned the task of clearing teapots, another charged with doling out coffee and another still with dishing out the napkins. A novel system of running a restaurant and probably one which I would not have noticed had it worked. The plain truth is that it did not work. If you asked the napkin man for a fork, he would agree to get you one and then carry on regardless with his paper distribution. Meanwhile the fork man was nowhere to be seen. Yes, such niggles may seem small, but they cropped up at every turn - with reception staff, in the bar, the gym and by the pool - and as such grated.

There was a constant sense that the Palace over-promised and under-delivered. Had the hotel been described as 3 Star and not an implausible 4, we may have tempered our expectations accordingly. In the absence of such candour, I feel unable to rely on Thomson ratings again. We didn't expect much, but we got significantly less than we expected. Avoid