This was sent from Thomas Cook Holidays - listing some of the British guests' complaints during the season. (Survey by Thos Cook and ABTA)
"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."
"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."
"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."
A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
"The beach was too sandy."
"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."
"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."
"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, it only took the Americans three hours to get home."
"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."
"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"
"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."
"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."
"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."
"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room, but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
Genuine complaint freceived by one of our reps in Cyprus last summer:
"I went to the beach and felt like I was in a foreign country".
The mind boggles.
"I went to the beach and felt like I was in a foreign country".
The mind boggles.
Come on HT regulars . Who's going to own up
My particular favourites
"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts
We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake
We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels
Oh God! Where do I start in giving you advice to assist in a claim for compensation?
Can you please tell us which items you feel really strongly about so that we have some idea?
I would add that any suggestions are those of the individual poster and do not represent the views of the management of HT
fwh
Can you please tell us which items you feel really strongly about so that we have some idea?
I would add that any suggestions are those of the individual poster and do not represent the views of the management of HT
fwh
That's the trouble with these foreigh places, they are all full of foreigners. I've heard so many complaints that the hotels/bars/beaches are full of locals. Some people really should stay in the UK or else do their research.
Have you seen the ones from the NHS
her husband said she was hot in bed last night
They examined his genitalia and found it to be circus sized
Between you and me we should be able to get this lady pregnant
when she fainted her eyes rolled around the room
All wrtten by NHS staff, sorry its off topic but these thing are so funny
her husband said she was hot in bed last night
They examined his genitalia and found it to be circus sized
Between you and me we should be able to get this lady pregnant
when she fainted her eyes rolled around the room
All wrtten by NHS staff, sorry its off topic but these thing are so funny
In reply to your complaints
"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."
I am sorry that the shops were closed at a time when you wanted to shop. This sort of thing reflects badly on our aim to give quality customer service. We have now instituted a new staff training programme and in association with Tesco all shops will open on a 24 hour basis from the start of the 2009 season..
"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."
I am sorry to hear of your dissatisfaction with the food served on your recent holiday. All our Chefs will be undertaking training in readiness for the 2009 season and HP sauce and Branston Pickle will be the only spices allowed - served separate to enable you to flavour dishes to individual taste.
"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."
I am sorry that towels and costumes were not available. Due to the latest EEC directive on Health & Safety from season 2009 towels and costumes will no longer be required.
A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
I am sorry that you were put in such an embarrassing position on your honeymoon. I have arranged for a supply of enhancing medication and videos to be sent to you with our compliments in a plain brown envelope
"The beach was too sandy."
We must apologise for the inconvenience caused. This was due to a strike by local builders who should have removed the sand before your arrival.
"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
I apologise for the colour of the sand. This was due to a misprint in our brochure. From season 2009 you will be able to specify the colour of sand you would like from the colour chart.
"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
We are unable to assist you on this matter - We have no connection with Specsavers.
"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, it only took the Americans three hours to get home."
This is not correct. Americans are dumb. All their hours are 180 minutes long to enable them to boast how they do everything quicker than anyone else. In real time it takes just as long as you or I.
"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."
I am sorry that the shops were closed at a time when you wanted to shop. This sort of thing reflects badly on our aim to give quality customer service. We have now instituted a new staff training programme and in association with Tesco all shops will open on a 24 hour basis from the start of the 2009 season..
"On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."
I am sorry to hear of your dissatisfaction with the food served on your recent holiday. All our Chefs will be undertaking training in readiness for the 2009 season and HP sauce and Branston Pickle will be the only spices allowed - served separate to enable you to flavour dishes to individual taste.
"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."
I am sorry that towels and costumes were not available. Due to the latest EEC directive on Health & Safety from season 2009 towels and costumes will no longer be required.
A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
I am sorry that you were put in such an embarrassing position on your honeymoon. I have arranged for a supply of enhancing medication and videos to be sent to you with our compliments in a plain brown envelope
"The beach was too sandy."
We must apologise for the inconvenience caused. This was due to a strike by local builders who should have removed the sand before your arrival.
"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."
I apologise for the colour of the sand. This was due to a misprint in our brochure. From season 2009 you will be able to specify the colour of sand you would like from the colour chart.
"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."
We are unable to assist you on this matter - We have no connection with Specsavers.
"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, it only took the Americans three hours to get home."
This is not correct. Americans are dumb. All their hours are 180 minutes long to enable them to boast how they do everything quicker than anyone else. In real time it takes just as long as you or I.
FWH, you don't happen to work in a travel industry customer related environment by any chance? If not, you may be headhunted soon.
Mark
FWH - That was absolutely brilliant. I haven't stopped laughing.
May I suggest another one:
We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.
We apologise for this. Since air conditioning is unfortunately impossible to instal outdoors, in future we will endeavour to employ fan-carrying natives to ensure the comfort of our valued guests wherever they may feel uncomfortably hot.
May I suggest another one:
We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.
We apologise for this. Since air conditioning is unfortunately impossible to instal outdoors, in future we will endeavour to employ fan-carrying natives to ensure the comfort of our valued guests wherever they may feel uncomfortably hot.
Thanks,your posts cheered me up.If you were employed by T------s we'd get a laugh from their customer services if nothing else.
"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."
We have been asked by the chamber of trade to clarify the issue of so called "Fake" Ray Ban sun glasses and other products sold by our vendors. In the current financial climate a decision was made to assist holidaymakers in getting value for money. In association with Ray Ban - Addidas - Rolex and other well known names our vendors are selling their budget ranges. All products are manufactured to the same high standards and subject to the same rigorous quality control as the more expensive items.
We have been asked by the chamber of trade to clarify the issue of so called "Fake" Ray Ban sun glasses and other products sold by our vendors. In the current financial climate a decision was made to assist holidaymakers in getting value for money. In association with Ray Ban - Addidas - Rolex and other well known names our vendors are selling their budget ranges. All products are manufactured to the same high standards and subject to the same rigorous quality control as the more expensive items.
I have been having a bad day at work and this has just cheered me up
I'm sure they are all 100% genuine complaints as there certainly are a lot of wierd people about
I'm sure they are all 100% genuine complaints as there certainly are a lot of wierd people about
FWH
You have cheered me up no end
You have a wicked sense of humour, there's life in the old dog yet.
BTW: come out of retirement, the TO's would surely pay top executive wages for those words of wisdom.
Loved it
Sanji
You have cheered me up no end
You have a wicked sense of humour, there's life in the old dog yet.
BTW: come out of retirement, the TO's would surely pay top executive wages for those words of wisdom.
Loved it
Sanji
These Brits really do get to me, just like a young lad at work. He was convinced that "the best thing since life's bread" was correct, but his best saying was only the other day.
One of the girls in the office was having an uncomfortable day with her pregnancy and kept cursing the fact. His words to her were, "Are you having contraptions?"
Oh, the yoof of today!
One of the girls in the office was having an uncomfortable day with her pregnancy and kept cursing the fact. His words to her were, "Are you having contraptions?"
Oh, the yoof of today!
I know this is not holidays per se - but on the same track here are some complaints to our local Housing Executive in Belfast (the equivalent of the Council)
1: My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing.
2: He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house, and I just can't take anymore.
3: Its the dog mess I find hard to swallow.
4: I want some repairs done to my cooker, as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
5: I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his
back passage.
6: And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
7: I wish to complain that the tiles are missing from my outside toilet roof. I think it was the bad
wind the other night that blew them off.
8: My lavatory is cracked, where do I stand?
9: I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
10: Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it
yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11: I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
12: 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
13: I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14: The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
15: Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
16: Our lavatory seat is broken in half, and now split into 3 pieces.
17: I wish to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes
me up, and its now getting too much for me!
18: The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
19: Our kitchen floor is damp, we have 2 children and would like a 3rd so please send someone
round to do something about it.
20: I am a single women living in a downstairs flat, and would you please do something about the
noise made by the man on top of me every night.
21: Please send a man round with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
22: I have had the clerk of works down on the floor 6 times, but I still get no satisfaction.
23: This is to let you know our lavatory seat is broken and we still can't get bbc2.
1: My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing.
2: He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house, and I just can't take anymore.
3: Its the dog mess I find hard to swallow.
4: I want some repairs done to my cooker, as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
5: I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his
back passage.
6: And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
7: I wish to complain that the tiles are missing from my outside toilet roof. I think it was the bad
wind the other night that blew them off.
8: My lavatory is cracked, where do I stand?
9: I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
10: Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it
yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11: I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
12: 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
13: I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14: The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
15: Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
16: Our lavatory seat is broken in half, and now split into 3 pieces.
17: I wish to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes
me up, and its now getting too much for me!
18: The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
19: Our kitchen floor is damp, we have 2 children and would like a 3rd so please send someone
round to do something about it.
20: I am a single women living in a downstairs flat, and would you please do something about the
noise made by the man on top of me every night.
21: Please send a man round with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
22: I have had the clerk of works down on the floor 6 times, but I still get no satisfaction.
23: This is to let you know our lavatory seat is broken and we still can't get bbc2.
We have been asked by the chamber of trade to clarify the issue of so called "Fake" Ray Ban sun glasses and other products sold by our vendors. In the current financial climate a decision was made to assist holidaymakers in getting value for money. In association with Ray Ban - Addidas - Rolex and other well known names our vendors are selling their budget ranges. All products are manufactured to the same high standards and subject to the same rigorous quality control as the more expensive items.
And are quaranteed until you reach the airport for your return journey home
"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."
Please accept our apologies for the disgraceful behaviour of a member of our insect staff. Following our investigations the particular mosquito in question has been dismissed.
Please accept our apologies for the disgraceful behaviour of a member of our insect staff. Following our investigations the particular mosquito in question has been dismissed.
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