General Holiday Enquiries, Hints and Tips

General Holiday Enquiries? Got General Hints & Tips? Post Them Here.
Reply
There have been quite a few over the years, but one in particular was in Tenerife when my son was about 5. Just the two of us went on holiday, and we were in the lobby on our way out and I said I needed the loo, which was by reception. My son followed me in and waited by the hand basin whilst I did what I had to, flushed and tried to open the door. Guess what, yep the handle came off in my hand. The walls and door was solid to floor so no hope of climbing under or over.... panic.

My son by this stage is saying Mummy whats the matter, I am trying to keep panic out of my voice. So I calmy send him to reception to get someone to come to the toilet as mummy is locked in. Oh my goodness it seemed liked ages, was about 15 minutes but bless him he managed to get the lady to follow him who promptly got a handy man to release me.

It's funny now... but boy at the time, I was worried about my little un.... :rofl
Edit: oops sorry realised you asked about funny moments in 2009 well this was about 1990 :whoops
Reply
I'm sure I'll come up with a few after my hol in a couple of weeks time. Don't think it will live up to joseptuk's though :rofl
Reply
oops sorry realised you asked about funny moments in 2009 well this was about 1990

Miss Pink - After reading Joseptuks post I can see clearly how you got a little carried away :rofl :rofl
Reply
Oh yes !! In jamaica about 7 weeks ago, the hotel had waterslides ( which I hate ) so on the second to last day, my 8yr old daughter, who spent all day going down this particularily fast one, said to me 'mum, last night you said you would go down the waterslide today', now, I may have had a few cocktails the previous night and have no recolection of saying this, but as we were with all the friends we had met on holiday, thought I would save face and be a hero to my daughter, so dutifully legged it up the millions of steps to this really long slide and prayed ! well, all the way down, I screamed like a 3 yr old and landed with such force into the pool ( bearing in mind I had tanning oil on, well it was the last tanning day, thus giving me much speed ) only to emege with my bikini top round my waist and much guffawing from everyone !
oh the shame !! :duh
Reply
It was funny when a maid showed me some pictures of a dude sleeping in the nude!!! She said she'd posted them all over the internet! She was about 50 too!!! ;)
Reply
We havent been this year yet - can I tell you one from last year?

We met this nice couple about the same age as ourselves - enjoyed chatting to them at the pool etc...........then they started to get very "stalkerish" and seemed to follow us everywhere - turning up at the same restaurants and bars and sitting with us all evening - it was okay to have company but they talked nonstop about how much money they had and their high profile jobs and how they were slumming it a bit in Majorca. :(

Totally getting fed up with them we left at different times to go out of an evening to avoid them - but they always seemed to be in reception and insisted in tagging along - even when we said we were meeting other people..............

This one evening they knocked on our apartment room door - obviously wanting to see what we were doing that evening!

We (very childishly!) didnt reply and pretended we were out...........after a few minutes my husband whispered "do you think they've gone?".................

I told him I would look under the door to see if there were feet on the other side - and when I did so I saw the eyes of the "wife" looking back at me under the door................gawd talk about being well caught out! :yikes :really
Reply
Tootsie not sure who would have been more shocked.... :rofl
Reply
Hi

Last year we were sat in fish alley in fuengirola. and my mum, partner and my sister were sat outside a bar, as everyone knows its full of beggers/lucky lucky men/and performers, we saw these 2 guys one with a tamberine, banging it on his head whilst dancing and singing, he went over to these 2 guys who were in deep conversation in a bar opposite, and the guy was banging his head with this bloody tamborine, thought the guy in deep conversation was gonna get hold of the tamborine and throw it at him, me and my fella were laughing so hard, and he also kept jumping up and down whilst banging his head with it..my mum and sister were not laughing, we are hoping that in 2 weeks when we are out there we will pay him just to see that again...was really really funny, but I suppose you have to be there, and the other year in fuengi, we were staying at the las palmeras our local, and staying next door to a naked woman, who kept coming on the balcony whilst we were trying to have a drink before dinner, it was not a pretty sight, although funny now when I think about it.. :sun2
Reply
Ok - so, first time in Cyprus (Paphos); first time A/I and first time we have ever joined in any hotel based entertainment. Have a good time, not getting too involved until a VERY nice young man (obviously the boss) joins the entertainment team. We chat a few times and I don't know where he got his impression of me but one night he comes over to me, part way through the show, and gets me up on stage. 'Just stand there and relax!' he whispers in my ear and then they go into the Diet Coke song!!!!! (As in, 'I just want to make love to you'!!) He is stood at the back of me and 'gently molesting' my (somewhat aged and flabby)body! - enjoy! Relax! I did both - much to sir's amusement but didn't dare look anyone in the face the day after!!!
Just in case you are not sure - Yes, I do look like my avatar! :rofl
Reply
A funny moment that springs to mind was back about 18 years ago :really on our first visit to the Greek islands. We went on an allocate on arrival sc holiday and had a fantastic time. Our semi detached apartment was almost on the beach so we went daily.

One particular day we noticed a man (late 40's/early 50's) strutting his stuff in a miniscule thong along the beach. We took particular notice because back then you didn't see many thongs about. He used to sunbathe standing up, every now and then taking a dip in the sea. He really thought he was something :D We then noticed that he had a partner who was huge. Now, you just wouldn't have classed the 2 of them as an item :think The funny thing was, he seemed to spend the whole day avoiding her. Every time she went into the sea, he'd get out and strut along the shore and when she came out, he'd go back in.

The story really doesn't get much funnier than that - it's a case of you had to be there to appreciate the humour. Apart from the fact that a couple of days later when my son went out onto our balcony, he came back in saying that 'Mr Thong' was staying next door :yikes
Reply
My husband and I were having a drink in the square in Torremolinos and the 'waitress' came up to us with the tablecloth on her arm and to wipe and clear the table from glasses that were left before (or so we thought)
My Husband stood up and picked up our drinks, fags, ashtray, etc so the table was clear for her set up and gestured for her to lay the table but ........... bet you can guess what happened next?
It was a gypsy seller who walks around trying to sell her wares! She must have thought her luck was in. I don't think she could believe that someone was being so accommodating!!!
Of course, all the other drinkers were watching by then and were all nudging and giggling - they knew what was going on before we did!
I have told this story verbally a few times before (with gestures!) and it was funny but now trying to write it maybe it isn't!!

Another very quick one - when we were in Majorca and we got friendly with a vey nice couple.
One day we went to their apartment, knocked on the door but there was no answer. Were they trying to avoid us?
I bent down to look under the door and was met by a pair of eyes!


Hee hee - only joking, it wasn't us Tootsie!
Reply
Another very quick one - when we were in Majorca and we got friendly with a vey nice couple.
One day we went to their apartment, knocked on the door but there was no answer. Were they trying to avoid us?
I bent down to look under the door and was met by a pair of eyes!

Hee hee - only joking, it wasn't us Tootsie!


:rofl :rofl I just spat some tea at my screen there Suzie!
Reply
Thought you might get a bit warm!
I have got a really really good one that I can't tell here - just in case the couple read this Site - they would know it was them!!!! It would take to long anyway - I will have to keep it until I publish my memoirs!
Reply
Not really had any funny moments as such really this year, but when I was travelling back from France in April I had to go through the metal dectator (sp?) and asked if I needed to remove my belt, and they looked so shocked! :really: and said NO NO NO! hehe We where waiting in the "holding area" (not sure what its called) for ages as they opened the wrong doors and we couldn't get out, but the people we where in with where so funny I totally lost it :rofl
Reply
A couple of years ago, hubby got up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, shutting the door after him as we had air con on. Instead of coming back into the bedroom, he opened the outer door & landed up naked in the corridor :rofl He was knocking & knocking, but I couldn't hear anything because of the noise of the air con. He nearly wet himself when he heard the lift coming up - there wasn't even a doormat around to cover himself up with :yikes When he heard the lift stopping on our floor, he ran to the end of the corridor & just hid round the corner until the people went into their rooms. Of course when I eventually heard him & let him back in -IT WAS ALL MY FAULT :que
Reply
In Turkey ( no tthis year, but a good tale) our hotel was 50/50 with Germans; one party of Germans arrived, and amongst them was a family with a lad of about 15. he was that sort of age where he wouldn't be anywhere near his parents, so we used to see him in the town, on a different beach - even having a haircut in a local barber one day. we never saw him in anything but jeans and a black t-shirt p - he never changed into swim trunks until one morning this very white body appeared.............in just his underpants. :really No, not swim trunks, very clearly and very obviously (slightly baggy) black underpants. He sat around the pool, and the bar, and even went for lunch in his trollies, until he disappeared at lunchtime and re-appeared in his standard jeans and black t shirt.
Reply
Not my story (luckilly) but someone I know was in Italy with his wife and they befriended an elderly man who was on his own. He talked a lot about his wife who had apparently died and they took pity on him, thinking he was lonely. One morning he joined them at breakfast and put an urn on the table saying "this is Margaret, I take her everywhere with me"!!!! He then 'introduced' her to the very bemused waiter (I suppose he didn't want Margaret's ashes scattered over the food) :rofl
Reply
We had one similar to that too but not quite so bad - this older gentleman had remarried after losing his first wife years ago and had taken his new wife (who was very timid and in her seventies) for their honeymoon to all the places in Majorca he used to visit with his late wife.
He cried/sobbed at every opportunity and his new wife was upset because obviously she felt inadaquate.
Understandably he was upset but it wasn't a good idea to re-trace the past.
By the 3rd day people were advising him to just enjoy the moment with his new wife but he dismissed her and said that
no-one could take his first wife's place.
By the end of the holiday everyone tried to avoid him because he was bringing everybody down and we all disliked the way spoke and treated her.
We all felt sorry for him but our concerns were mainly for her and how she would cope with being told on her honeymoon she was second best.

Another one was when we went to Spain and we befriended another elderly man (76 years old) and he said he was lonely and asked me to find him a lady so I said there are a few ladies here in the hotel around your age and he said,
"no, I don't mean that, I want you to get me a prostitute - I have asked the hotel but they won't do it for me so I have rung up myself and when they ask my age, they will not come to the hotel" Was I shocked!

Honestly all this is true - sometimes I think we are too friendly!
Reply
Holiday Truths Forum

Post a Reply

Please sign in or register an account to reply to this post.

Sign in / Register

Holiday Truths Forum Ship image

Get the best deals!

from our cruise, ski and holiday partners

You can change your email preferences at any time.

Yes, I want to save money by receiving personalised travel emails with awesome deals from Holiday Truths group companies which are hotholidays.co.uk,getrcuising.co.uk and getskiing.co.uk. By subscribing I agree to the Privacy Policy

No, thank you.