thought of one myself to start us off
this season friends of ours who were staying in Candolim wanted to visit us in the south then go to Hampi , so they hired a jeep and a guide it turned out first of all the guide could'nt drive the jeep , but that wasn't a problem our friend is a h.g.v. driver in the u.k so he had no problem driving the jeep they set off and arrived in Cavelossim to meet us after getting lost a few times but our friend insisted the guide was useful because he could speak the local language and ask directions , i thought a guide should know those ?
our friend also invited the guide to join us for meals etc.. thinking he would order simple goan food like fish curry and rice when in fact he ordered steak and chips washed down by bacardi breezers !
when we met up on the beach the next day their guide was on a sun bed next to theirs borrowing sun lotion enjoying a nice cold drink , they set off for Hampi the next day and when they arrived back in Candolim a few days later we heard they had got lost on the way back off the main road ended up on a dusty track covered in red dust but the guide had , had a lovely time , so make sure if you want a guide that knows his way about and not just a free holiday check him out first ,
our friend and his guide are actually great friends now and keep in touch anita

ALL.... my funny story is about the airport when I go away I always bring a little round pillow with me so I can pop it behind my back on the flight ......have a little sleep on it on the flight too and I bring it to the pool and the beach for my sun bed .....well last year at the airport I was sent back to have it stamped three times by airport security and the staff on the scaning machine sent it through as many times too what a laugh we had all this fuss over a pillow..

that is soo funny and typical af the airport in goa they must not have seen one before while they were making sure you were'nt sneeking any thing through that you should'nt loads of others could have been going past with all sorts of stuff like a comedy sketch anita

was coming back from a days sunbathing with wife from ashvem and seen a scooter with 4 people on( nothing unusual there you might say!)exept the lad at the back was carrying a sheep!!. made me smile.

it was on our first visit to goa,we were out for the day to the waterfalls (duhdsager) and on the way back we went to visit the spice plantation,it was getting a little late .anyway we was shown round the plantation and then had the typical lunch on the bannana leaf and a few beers,we asked to pay the bill for the beers and they said in half hours time the were opening a new section of the plantation, i think it was to do with little boats on the pond.anyway they said they would like us to stay for a while longer to be part of it (there was about 100/150 peoplele there by now,we were knackered but thought it was nice of them to offer,so we obliged.anyway,a local dignitary was about to cut the ribbo n and sail in the little boat on the river when he seen myself and wife and our two friends on the little bridge watching the opening (we were the only non locals there).he sent someone over and asked my wife if she would like to cut the ribbon,and after a bit of persuading her, she went and cut the ribbon to a big round of applause and local tv, newspapers, and cameras flashing.he then called the other 3 of us over to get in the small boat to sail on the river for 5 mins (5 of us in a small boat ) we must have looked a right sight!anyway we had a couple more beers and asked to pay,and thanked them for a wonderfull end to the day,but they refused point blankly to take any money from us.then a load of them followed us to our taxi ,with lit torches (as by now it was getting dark) and waved us off.its a day we will remember forever!.

We all like to count the number of people on a motorbike or scooter. My friend has seen a bike with five on it, but the best I have managed is four people and a pig!! The pig appeared to be enjoying the experience.

NOT in goa ...but hubby and I saw a motorbike in the carribean with a mum...dad ...and two kids... on it plus 5 baskets of chickens we thought it was bales of hay but when we went to overtake the bike we .saw the family.....maybe they were going to a bar/b/Q .

hi les we went to the spice plantations after the waterfalls trip and had the meal on a banana leaf etc.. so can picture the scene exactly is'nt it funny how the locals treat us as celebreties .

we are friends with a nice local goan family and they asked us to join them on a night out to a 25th silver wedding party we ended up at a fantastic venue their friend who's silver wedding it was , was a goan politician or something , there was a cavelcade of security to escort us to the venue then we parked up and were transferred into vehicles with flashing lights to take us from the car park to the actual area where the tables were set out , the food and drink was fantastic the tables were set out with ice sculptures and beautiful flower arrangements it was unbeleivable the govoner of goa was there with his family it was a wonderful evening but it was hard to beleive we were there .

i will post a photo in the photo gallerie , the govoner of goa is the oriental looking man in the photo , the guy behind the cake is the one who has been married to the lady in the blue dress for 25 years anita
p.s. also put one on of me and our taxi driver , who by the way had a great time .

and one of our friends

We went to the spice plantation at Ponda in January this year, we went on the tour and had the meal, it was all very interesting. The folllowing week we went back, the wife wanted to wash the elephant. When i went to the centre to book her ticket the man there said, "how nice to see you again, please come and have lunch with us after".

When we went back into the centre we were given mango juice, the usual lunch, and more mango juice. When we tried to pay he said no you are our guests. Unbelievable.

we got on a bus from calangute to panjim, it was absolutly packed.on about the third stop a woman got on with a plastic gallon can full of petrol!the fumes were unbelievable(health and safety?) we sighed with relief when she got off. on the way back a very old lady got on with a large basket of dried fish on her head, she indicated to the conductor that she had no money and gave him three of the fish instead! when she got to her stop she picked up the basket waved to us all with a big smile on her face. the smell lasted all the way back to calangute

some very funny stories .makes me wish i was there now!goa has that effect on you doesnt it!.

I would love to have been on the return bus to see the old lady with the fish , we were on a bus one day and an old lady who looked about 90 very tiny and wrinkly got on and dragged a huge sack of onions on with her ! on another bus some school girls sat behind us playing with my daughters blond curly hair all the way to their stop when they were getting off they told her she had beautiful hair and was very pretty ,shes 30 , anita

I hid Rs5000 in my shorts for my next trip and I have Just washed them, money and all, now I have Rs5000 clean notes, Pew

We bought 3 live chicks from Mapusa market 2 weeks ago, they were tied up together by their feet, we asked for something to put them in, she offered us a plastic bag and couldn't understand why we said no. We had to come back to Arpora with them on the bus, no one batted an eyelid. They have settled in very well, hopefully they are females like she promised and we will have fresh eggs soon! We got on to a cram jam full bus not long ago and someone got on with a wagon tyre that was nearly as big as him!
The monsoon has brought some very funny sights, lots of people ride their scooters with one hand whilst holding an umbrella with the other, wev'e also seen people riding scooters with plastic bags on their heads!

Our first visit to Goa was this year and my boyfriend and I had all sorts of funny things happen to us. One of the funniest was when we went on Luvely Jubbly's elephant washing tour. As part of the all day trip we stopped at a temple and after taking our shoes off, we passed all the flower sellers on the way into the temple. Had a good look round then on the way out, just about to pass the flower sellers again and a lady was busy polishing the marble floor. Needless to say my boyfriend went flying on the polished floor in front of them all - a real arms and legs everywhere type fall before landing sat on the floor. Needless to say the poor flower sellers couldn't stop laughing and he, trying to be all manly, had to hobble off and pretend he hadn't twisted his ankle! Very amusing!

It was a friends birthday in a few days and during a discussion in our regular beach shack, he mentioned ironically that for his birthday he would like an elephant.
This had been overheard by the shack owner and he know where he was staying.
On the morning of his birthday, there was a knock at the door and he opened it to be greeted face to face with his present, an elephant.
The shack owner had arranged for the religious chaps and their elephant to pay a visit.

On a trip back home via Mumbai after an Xmas & New Year break in Goa, I flew business class and was surprised by the more stringent than usual security before boarding.
Upon boarding the reason was apparent, sitting across the aisle in the front row was a member of the Indian cabinet with his PA sitting behind. The rest of business class was empty with his security entourage "manning" the curtain to economy.
Upon arrival at Mumbai, economy were held back whilst we departed the plane. I walked a few steps behind the dignitry and his PA whilst we all made our way through the airport. There were many salutes from uniformed personal. After walking for about 10 minutes he was lead to a VIP waiting to the right and I took my turn to the left for the way to the exit.
It was only then that I saw the rest of his entourage of about 20 people file past me. Not being aware of what was behind me I had mistakenly shadowed the dignitry yet not one of the security personal questioned my intrusion. Being of stocky build with sunglasses on, I must have looked like a bodyguard.

Sat here browsing the site when I recalled a funny story, so I thought I would share it with you. A friend of mine was in Goa at breakfast one morning when a man asked the waiter if he could have porridge. "Yes of course, no problem" he replied. The man then asked if he could have it with honey on. The waiter looked puzzled and went away. 10 minutes later he returned with the porridge, with onions on it. "Whats this"? the man asked. Its what you asked for sir "Porridge with onion" Changing the subject somewhat. What restaurants serve Kingfisher Strong. I can only find it in Delhi Darbar and Midas Touch

I can just imagine that porridge and onion what a concoction that would be, might be good for those FEW HANGOVER'S we seem to get
Keep them coming makes the heart lighter all this laughter.

A relative of mine was out fishing from a boat one day when the boat started to drift. "Have you got an anchor" asked one of the holiday makers. "Anchor, yes sir" said the boat owner and threw in the anchor. a very large rock tied to rope. A little later the boat started to drift again. "Not a problem" said the captain " we will get new anchor" and promptly threw in a young boy to dive for another rock.