Someone is telling you downright lies.
The customs officers are no different to any other, some are friendly, some are a little stern, depending on what sort of day they are having. But I have to say, I have always (and we go twice a year) found them to be fine.
they do take a picture of you and two finger prints (via a scanner, not by printing!)
No swabbing.
the picture and finger print picture take about four mins, nothing more.
At Orlando international airport, You come off the aircraft, walk to the customs area, this walk takes a while, but its good for the circulation after 8 hours on a plane, go to the lines on the right as they seem to move quicker. there is a red line on the floor and you stay there until called forward. now only the members of the family as detailed on teh green visa waiver form you fill in go forward. You hand over your passports, each person (unless under 15 or over 70 AFAIR) takes turn to have your picture taken by digital photo, and you put your two fingers onto the scanner. Your Green visa form is stapled into your passport and away you go!
You then walk into the baggage reclaim, collect you luggage (there will be a doggie sniffing your bags, this is the US agriculture & fisheries sniffer dog looking for foodstuffs, dairy products meat etc, which are not allowed into the country. If they find any, they will tell you off, confiscate the food and let you through) go through another desk area where you hand over the family white customs declaration form.
Next you place your luggage back onto a carrousel, which loads the luggage onto a truck to take it to the main terminal. this is so not to fill the shuttle trains with luggage.
You go out into the sattelite concourse (where you catch the plane back) go towards the sign saying "shuttle to the main airport terminal". this is a little magnetic tram, a smaller version of the Disney train :-)
onto this, and your first views of Florida. At the main terminal, follow the signs to Bag collect B and find the carrousel for your flight. pick up your bags, go down in the lift one level and collect your hire car/Shuttle bus
its that easy and not scary at all :-)
I hope that helps