this happend to us too.last year ..we left him a £50 tip and then sent him £100 as we knew he was planning to run away to marry. marry he did and then the begging texts came saying how hard married life was,on our return this year he apoligised ,we still used him as our driver but no big tip at end of holiday,he now knows what friendship means (no meal ticket) we have no hard feelings and he even invited us to a family hindu celebration for his wife being 7months pregnant.and we were giving gifts, its a shame really because we would have helped him but on our terms ,not him texting asking for £100 , asking is bad enough but to state he needs £100 was beyond belief, my husband is returning the end of april and will use him again ,but instead of money i have made up a baby layette for him and his wife,

i think if you like were going to try and remember what the daily wage is in goa then you can be more realistic in giving tips,presents we give our driver a £20 tip now im feeling that was too much mabye this is why some goans see the uk tourist more of a soft touch than other nationalities as we all know goa is a hell of a lot cheaper than were we live and we all have to go out and work hard and save to have holidays and weddings ect, we go back on friday for 3 weeks i just hope that this time we can stick to our guns and not pay the british price,steve.

I just think about how many other friends have fallen for the same trick over the season soon takes what pitty I had for them away Like the lads who receive about 3-4 mobile phones every 2 weeks

same thing happened to us, difference being we made friends with a local young man, who shall remain nameless. but it was three years before he asked for £1000 because he'd gotten himself into debt!!! i found it difficult to see how he could be that much in debt because of the way they live and the cost of living there.
my wife and i would always take him and his wife out to dinner a couple of times while we were there, because we liked them and we wanted to give them a treat. and we took presents out there every year, mostly clothing, for their little girl.
we now feel a bit used because he wanted more, quite a lot more.
so the moral of the story is:- don't get TOO friendly.
BOB

I've heard and seen similar tales many, many times. Almost without exception tourists are "befriended" ultimately for what the local people can get out of them.The children are sent to the beach to "make friends" they will then ask near the end of the holiday for a "gift" money, towels, mobile or whatever! I know all the arguments that they don't have much etc etc, but in the end they want something from you that is more than friendship for friendships sake. Fools and their money are soon parted!!!!!!

It is also worth remembering that you may not be the only tourist that is being asked for money. One shack owner was sent money by a friend to fix the roof of his house. He later met a number of people who had "paid" for the same roof repairs.

All this would make you think twice ....I for one do bring small gifts ..footie shirts ....and mens T shirts ...for the shack boys but if for one minute I thought they were taking me for granted ....they would get no more ....I have been asked for my mob number but no way would I give it to anyone I dont know ....so they will not get the chance to beg a been form me .........colleen

Colleen I agree with everything you say. We take "small girft" because we have chosen to do so, not because folk have asked us for mobile phones, digi cameras, money etc.
I would never be that gullible, no matter what the sob story, after all there are plenty needy folk I can help in the UK, without having to go all the way to India to do it. The minute one of our Goan "friends" over steps that line then our so called friendship would end immediately.
PS. you gave me your mobile phone number IC but dont worry I wont pester you for things

I agree with both Colleen and Gemma, the minute they asked me for money I would let them know in no uncertain terms would I 'help them out'.
We were daft enough to listen to a sob story from one of the shack boys, he told us that 'We don't get paid working here all day at the shack, we do it just for the food' My Husband gave him Ten pounds on the last day, but we found out later it was Lies and let him know that we knew.
It was only a tenner but its the principal He will be getting no Chocolate from us this Year!!

Apart from him I think we must have been lucky with the Waiters/ Beach shack lads, we had difficulty getting them to take the tips we wanted to give.

some people must give off the wrong signals

we have never been asked for gifts etc,indeed the only pressure from the shack boys was to pester to give a massage.

Maybe its the fact that I am a Yorkshire tyke and the Goans have heard that we have short arms and long pockets
del949

We rented a scooter off o guy for 2 seasons and paid a little more than we should but we didnt mind.
then he came and asked for the next 2months rental in advance with a sob story ofcourse, we gave him that, then he came and asked to borrow 10,000 rupees, that was the end of the frienship, we now rent a scooter from elsewhere, we rent for 4 months so he lost our custom,and friendship, they cannot seem to see how silly they are.
edwina

Don't know about you but none of my "friends" ask me for money. They know they'd be wasting their time because:

1. I'm tight
2. I don't have much to spare
3. Friends don't blag money off each other.

I reckon you have to understand the difference between being polite and friendly with folks and thinking you've made some new best friends. You can't blame people for wanting a share of your wealth (as they see it) and wanting a slice of it. At least they do it by being nice rather than hitting you over the head for it. Just don't get too involved - I'm on holiday and don't want invitations to homes, birthdays etc!

I know that sounds a bit crotchety, and maybe I am, but I don't get bothered with text messages asking for money when somebody's marriage is allegedly going pear-shaped!

I've never really understood the whole idea of giving Taxi Drivers tips... Especially when pretty much EVERY ONE rips you off. OK there are a few gems in the rough but when they try and charge you 300 Rs to go about a kilometer (Government rate is about 15Rs/- per km), then it's just taking the mic!

Moan over.... - Everyone should understand that huge numbers live on about £30 or less a month!, so giving a £10 tip at the end of a two week holiday is like giving somone from the UK £500 - £1500 pound as a tip!!!!! - Sounds a little odd now doesn't it?!

I agree with Roma's 3 points.. Especially number 1, I'm very tight with money! - Although I will go out of my way to help someone in time and effort.

On the other side one family we've know since we got here, they've always lived in a makeshift home (bamboo/palm leaves and a bit of plywood, but they are the most generous and kind hearted fmily I know. Always inviting me round for food and NEVER expecting anything in return. (Lovely food too!). :o)

I have huge amounts of faith in people, but have had this dashed and bashed while I've been in Goa. A good way to go is 'loan' them some money (preferably a small amount which you'd be happy to give them anyway. If they pay back the loan then maybe they are the diamond in the rough... :oD If they say (before giving your money back), look at my new CD player in my taxi.. or I bought a new mobile phone then they obviously don't see the value of money or friendship. I would never buy something if I had to repay a loan... Although I have NEVER in my life had a loan from a bank or anything as I am of the opinion in you can't afford it... don't buy it.. Never owned a credit card either, well one of the banks forced one on me at one point, it lasted about 6 hours before I cut it up!!!!
Anyway, be careful it's a jungle out there...

Roma
I totally agree with your comments below:

I reckon you have to understand the difference between being polite and friendly with folks and thinking you've made some new best friends.

Just don't get too involved - I'm on holiday and don't want invitations to homes, birthdays etc!

And, no! I don't think you're being crotchety at all.

We enjoy chatting to the lads in the beach shacks, in the restaurants & bars, the room boys etc, but that's as far as we want it to go.

Nice post, Rob, and full of good sense.

Polly

I think a lot of tourists, especially British softies ,are giving the beach workers and waiters expectations of always getting something from us .A woman and her 5 kids who work at our regular shack befriend tourists and we have known them for years and give them tips for massages etc.A family met them in december 2006 and exchanged phone numbers ,and the woman who has 7 kids of her own ,left her kids at home and came to visit this indian family bringing presents for all the kids, even trying to get one of he older girls to stay with her in her hotel room for a couple of nights.
I couldn't get over how this British woman could come back to the same place for a weeek on her own leaving her hubby at home with her own 7 kids to patronise this indian family.She genuinely thought they were her friends, but it was obvious to us all that they were out for what they could get.

mabye people like rob from cwt could answer this one or any goans or even ex pats how do goans actually see us,steve.

These posts are actually making me feel quite bad . 14 years ago I befriended some of the kiddies selling on the beach, I used to buy the odd bits and bobs from them, buy them lunch, take them to Mapusa and buy a new dress, pair of jeans etc for each of them. Every year since I have taken something for them - one year I bought 2 of the lads a bicycle it cost me about £20 but they were absolutely thrilled to bits - they still have it now.
They have never once asked me for money, I do buy them gifts, I bought a TV set for them this year - last time we spoke there were about 15 children crammed into their home watching it. They all shouted thank you down the phone.
I consider them to be my friends, they aren't exclusive to me I am sure, I know other tourists are friendly with them . I am glad they are they are lovely young adults these days
It gives me great pleasure to give them something nice - why not!!!. They ring regularly - yes they have mobile phones when in Goa I am invited to their homes, which arent much more than shacks but they are proud of them. I am invited to their homes in Karnatika. I will be a guest at one of their weddings in June.
They are great kids, my Indian family - doesnt matter a jot to me if there are 30 other tourists who think they are also special to them.

i hope people dont portrai me as being selfish in my defence were travelling with two bags to goa on friday one with our stuff and another with brand new jeans and tops for the kids my beef is with being charged a lot more than im supposed to be paying ie being ripped off by taxis,barmen or hoteliers and even barbers,steve.But im still looking so forward to our holiday starting.

Roxey, well put! I've made several friends in Goa who have not once asked for a thing, but have had others who do want it all, designer clothes, latest mobiles, cameras, even dvd recorders, needless to say but, these "so called friends" get nothing. After being to Goa so many times I find it a lot easier each time to sort the true friends from the " I want to rip you off friends"!