sponsoring children. - Page 2 - Goa Discussion Forum, Holiday Forums

Re: sponsoring children.

poipleshadow

2010-01-24 03:09:33

I have a bit of a unique viewpoint to charities as I have also been a supporter, volunteer and now run a charity in Goa... So he's my view....

Not knowing you... I am sure it is heartbreaking for Valleylady as she invested a lot of time and effort into the sponsorship, I used to volunteer for the said charity when I first came to Goa and back then I think one of the children had 13 sponsors and most had 3 or 4, I don't know if that's still the case, but I am sure it can't be easy for the children meeting and remembering all these people.

Scarves.... The lady has always been a little bit forward when asking for things, that's why why do so well in getting people to sponsor their children.....

Bag's being dumped in the corner.... We occasionally receive clothes from supporters and generally it' easier to look through them when everyone has gone, as it takes a lot of room to sort the clothes into ages and girls and boys, although it's always polite to ask if that's OK..

I have also given anything extra that we get to other charities and I know what it';s like when you want to show them 'I've brought this, and this...' You feel proud to be able to share you things.. So it can be demoralising to see them being dumped in the corner...

Gifts... I don't think the other children would bully her for the gifts although it can be difficult to give just one child a gift (however small), we have the same policy of not singling out a child, if you want to give something for the children then you should give something smaller for everyone, rather than a bigger item for 1 or 2... Either that or give for the top ten best attending or for prizes for best work etc, something which they can all strive for. Looking after larger groups of children you have to treat them fairly otherwise it's another reason for them to be sad, and we're here to make them happy!

50 children in a room 30 ft - 10ft..... According to the children's home rules each dormitory should have 40sq foot per child, so if you're right then 50 children in that room is not good, however sleeping on the floor is considered relatively normal here in India, I do it actually, I've got a double bed at my apartment but choose to sleep on the floor, tends to be cooler...

children go home to mumbai, when the tourist have gone.... When I volunteered there most of the children went home for holidays at the end of the school term (which is at the end of the tourist season), most of the children are from out of state, Karnataka, Marahastra etc but I as far as I am aware they only go for a month and then return, I think most are from faimlies who reside in Goa, or have done at some stage (bt I could be wrong)...

As Robert and Carol said, it's always best to visit to make up your own mind before supporting a charity, we're not all the same....

Thanks

HFH

2010-01-24 09:41:35

Re: sponsoring children.

Rob,
What a very fair and sensible summing up you have made, you know far more about what goes on with the charity concerned than we are ever likely to know!
I felt for valleylady and pm'd her as we experienced a very similar responce from that charity when we took things out for them and being asked to bring things back,we agreed to bring some saris back but when the package arrived at our hotel there was also a large quantity of heavy jewellery!!

It's very often what people dont say that says more than what they do say, especially from those who live in Goa and had been long time supporters of the charity!

As you know you have had our support from the beginning when you just did fruit runs on your bikes. You have always found time to say "thank you"and to ask how we would like a donation used. You amazed us recently when you wrote to say that at last you had been able to build two large wooden jenga sets for the garden that a couple of our young friends had made a donation for sometime earlier. We had long forgotten about it but you hadn't. Every penny we have ever given you has been accounted for.

Once when we were visiting there was a discussion by the young doctor volunteering about cash to buy antibiotics and we offered him a sum of money to use as "petty cash" You wouldn't have this idea and immediately wrote out a receipt and the money went into the "medical" fund for use when needed.

Our best wishes for the continual success of C.W.T.

HFH

valleylady

2010-01-24 13:59:40

Re: sponsoring children.

hui rob,as i previously said to you in my pm,we did take small gifts for all the children,but were still not allowed to give our sponsored child a personal gift just for hereself,we were told this would cauce jealousy and bulliying amongst the children. thanks for your input on this topic

poipleshadow

2010-01-26 13:08:34

Re: sponsoring children.

Valleylady, it's not the fact that you gave to everyone, it's the fact that you gave more to one... I know people always want to treat 'their' child to something special, but it can make it very unfair especially with the 'cute' children who might have more sponsors, if every sponsor brought something special to the same child leaving perhaps one or two that hadn't got any sponsors (or their sponsors didn't visit), it wouldn't be very nice... (But I understand why you want to give)...

HFH, thank you for all your supporting words, I am just sorry the Jenga sets took so long to sort out... :s but we get there in the end... Everything that is given for a specific purpose is used for the same purpose and cross checked in the accounts (sometimes quite big task, I have no idea how other charities do it).

valleylady

2010-01-26 13:32:21

Re: sponsoring children.

hi rob thanks for your comments,i understand what you are saying,but after giving gifts to all the children "our child"could of been taken to one side by the house mother and we could have given our the gift,in fact we along with our friends gave colouring books,pencils skipping ropes to all the children, the house mother took them off the children and threw them in the corner along with everything else we had taken,suerly this was more harmful,to be given something no matter how big or small then have it taken away. i have been having a look at your website,and read the topic mumbai trip,where it says the childrens faces lit up when they were given a gift,this is what we expected when we took our gifts for the children but it didnt happen,oh yes their faces did light up but we also saw the tears and dissapiontment when their gifts were taken away.another comment you made in a previous post "maybe gifts should of been given to the children who attended the most",attendance to where,the children at the house we visited dont attend,they live there all the time,exept when they are sent home the rainy during season????or is it when there unlikly to be sponsors or tourists around?i dont know if they operate the same now as when you volountered with them or not,but we were not happy with the setup,i have recieved many pm,s all saying the same.also there has not been one pm or post praising this charity,but as you rightly say all the charitys are not the same and i believe it is up to the individual to make up thier own minds,my original post was only to warn people to make sure of the facts before sponsoring and not to go in head first as we did.at the end of the day i am not concened about the money we spent but it is a matter of priniple,and a thank you costs nothing.

meagain

2010-01-26 14:53:01

Re: sponsoring children.

We took out loads of stuff that we had been asked to get for the children by the founders and presented it to the children as requested while they took photographs for the newsletter, only to find that the gifts and clothing was taken off the children once we left and was sold at a market stall for a lot less than we had paid it, let alone the all the trouble we had getting the stuff out to Goa and through customs

As for asking sponsors to take goods back for them they have been warned by HM Customs that it was illegal a couple of years ago, that anyone caught taking goods back for them could be charged with smuggling goods for sale into the UK with out paying import duty and vat

robert and carol

2010-01-26 23:38:29

Re: sponsoring children.

valley lady,, have to agree with your's last comment, we gave gift's to all the children,,
it was lovely to see there happy face's.. then to see them have the gifts taken away,,
the clothes,, was all soretd into bag, of boys & girls,, age's tops bottoms,,
to be threw in a corner,, & the gifts taken off.. the children,,
it was not nice, to see,,
we saw poorer children in the streets, that remember you'r name,,
only after meeting you,,once,, never mind sponsering you for 1 year,,

meagan.. tourist & sponser's need to be warned,, HM Customs
not to bring things back,,
valleylady, was asked to bring 20k,,this was our first time in goa..
valleylady,, thought about taking the parcel back, it,, was for the kids....
end of the day,, it's smuggling with out, you know it,,,, thinking you are helping the children,,

poipleshadow

2010-01-27 04:35:55

Re: sponsoring children.

Valleylady,
Believe me I am not trying to support 'the other charity', just saying it is difficult if you're treating one child differently, even if you're taking them to the side, they're bound to go to their friends later and say 'look what I got'!! Having positive reasons for extra gifts like having highest school attendance or for best work...

We don't usually give items out straight away either, the children we look after are spoilt rotten as it is,if visitors want to give extra it can become too much at times. We don't want the children to expect things when visitors come, we tend to give things out more often in the slums as the items can be spread to more children rather than the same children getting items all the time. Visitors always seem to come at the same time (a bit like the three bus rule)...

Meagain
I had heard about them selling items at a market stall, but didn't know they were still doing it... All items that are suitable for children are giving to the children! - Occasionally we get items that are just too big etc, some of these are used around the house for volunteers to wear while painting etc, or given out to the parents at the slums etc. We really only want items designed for children.

Robert and Carol
We're not all the same....

meagain

2010-01-27 07:29:43

Re: sponsoring children.

Hi Rob

I think you are confusing the issue

I thought and was encouraged to think (I believe Valleylady and all the sponsors), that we was helping poor and distressed children that had been taken into care by the charity because one or more of their parents was dead or the children had been abandoned or abused so was now dependent on ES looking after them for the rest of their lives, in one of the four homes until they moved on to a special purpose built village in Assagao of twenty cottages where they would be taught the skills they needed before moving on in life.

We was told that if you sponsored a child you would get regular letters and cards from your child and was encouraged to send money for Birthdays and Christmas presents for them or bring gifts and clothing if you came to visit, it was inferred that you was now part of the family and your child would be educated, cared for and trained for work until they was old enough to stand on their own two feet due to your sponsorship

I believe you run a Charity to help slum children get an education and a better way of life and as far as I know do not make such promises or lead people to believe you do more than help where you can

poipleshadow

2010-01-27 10:01:13

Re: sponsoring children.

Hi Meagain,

I think they have mislead you, the children that they look after are generally the same as the ones we help, most have families, although generally are from low income families and generally originate from out of state (Karnataka, Marahastra). I volunteered there 6 years ago now and some of the kids still come and see me, I know them and their families, I buy fish off one of the mothers most Mondays for lunch...

Our work is based on providing all-round support but in a family based environment, we help a few 'orphans' but they still have aunts and uncles they stay with. Our main aim is to get them into school and keep them attending, we provide incentives for this to happen (rice to the families on good attendance every 15 days - etc) We've just given out suitcases that have been left behind by visitors to the top 20 children attending school... As well as this we provide medical assistance (mainly the two local slums), this has been a mixture of smallish things, burns, secondary infections, scabies etc to more serious things like malaria, tb, leprosy, severe burns (75%) etc... food, fruit, counciling etc - Well it keeps us busy...

valleylady

2010-01-27 12:09:20

Re: sponsoring children.

poipleshadow,your opening statement,i think they mislead you says it all.we were told exactly the same as meagin,we even have it written on paper.but when you go there it is entirley different to what you have been led to believe.i am convinced from our expierince and what other members have pm,d me that the items we took were never shared out amongst the children but sold in the local market,sorry if we sound mean but at the end of the day we sponsored 1 child,not the 50 or so that live in the same house .if the charity expect you to tkae items to be shared out,given to the slum familys or whatever, they should say so when you enquire about sponsorship,not tell you a load of rubbish,about how this will be "your child" she will have a little box to keep all the letters/photos you send her.she will be really happy to see you when you visit etc.the housemother didn,t know anything about little boxes etc,saying she,d only worked there for 3 mths.as far as i,m concerned this charity is taking the mickey out of the people who care enough about these children to try and help.if we had wanted to take things to the slum familys/street children etc,we are quite capable of doing it our selves,there are plenty of them on every street corner.i also think the only time the children are allowed the gifts is when they have someone there with a camera so it looks good on thier website or newsletter.you have described what your charity does and if we had been sponsoring with cwt we would have been quite happy with the way you run things if we had known up front .but the whole issue is that this charity leads you to believe a totally different scenario to what is actually going on.

robert and carol

2010-01-27 13:30:36

Re: sponsoring children.

valleylady,, have to agree with every thing you said, in you'r last comment,,
we was told,,by email,that we could get extra 20 kilos luggage allownace, as we was taking things over for the children,, we never got the extra allowance,, not even a reply, we used all our luggage allowance + had to pay £36.00, 3 kilos over weight,,

we travelled all the way from nottingham, to Goa, to visit the child our friend valleylady, had been sponsering for 1 year,, we was even thinking of sponsering,,
until we saw what happens,
it wont put us off taking things, the next time we go to india,,there are plenty of poor children on the street's,, who we can give the things to,,
rob, i have read your web sight, you are doing a good job,
iam not saying all charitys are the same,,

its just the experiance we had with the 1 we visited,,

valleylady

2010-01-27 13:38:02

Re: sponsoring children.

i agree ,robert and carol,we will take things again and hand them out ourselves,less complicated easier and it will go to the people we want to have them,

poipleshadow

2010-01-27 14:26:11

Re: sponsoring children.

Valleylady, just a quick word of warning, giving directly out in the slums isn't as easy as you might think... If it's something you want to do then I am more than happy to help...

I've seen children snatch whole bags of sweets off unsuspecting tourists while they've been giving them out. One of the better items to give out is toothbrushes and toothpaste (not sweets - everyone thinks I'm mean as I don't like people giving sweets out, generally sweets = visits to the dentists due to large cavities!

- ttohpaste and also soap are ideal...

Some places can be easy but others can be a nightmare - we gave out around 850 christmas present round the slums in Goa over Christmas.. I think we walked away from two places as (mainly parents) started grabbing etc.. We're used to it, but if you're not, it can be scarey (just to warn you), both places we knew would be bad before we went. We give them another chance each year, one of the biggest places which is normally bad was good as gold this year, and we managed to give out to around 150/200 children in one go..

A good way is to ask a local govt school to see if it's ok to give out - giving things out on the beaches etc just gives children another reason to stay out of school and to work on the beaches - we're trying to help the opposite...

valleylady

2010-01-27 15:12:10

Re: sponsoring children.

hi rob thanks for the advice,having lived in thailand for a considerable time we are used to it ,but i can understand that many people are not,toothbrushes,soap etc is good also head lice powder i believe.personally i wouldn,t give to children on the beach as i also think it encourages them not to go to school.thanks for the help offered to take items out to the slums i know it is something that we and robert and carol had wanted to do thro the other charity,but obviously things went wrong.will be in touch before our next trip thanks again.

robert and carol

2010-01-29 22:17:59

Re: sponsoring children.

valleylady,, you have done a lot of travelling,, saw poverty first hand,
& have helpted,, the poor people were ever you have travelled,,
Then sponsered a child from a web page,,xxx for 1 year, Paying for a flight,,
taking all the luggage allowance for the children,,

told you are welcome to bring,, things for the children,,
we all took75 kilos for the children,,,only to get dissapointed with what you see,,xx

we see & live around poor people in uk,,, poverty is all over the world,,

rob's, thanks for the advice about the slumbs, any advice, is welcome,,
you have more knowledge than we have,, its part of your life,, good luck,,
hope we might meet on our next trip to india,,

valley lady,, carol & robert, will be reading up about the slumbs in india,,,
for the next visit in december,, to mumbai,,xx
we are looking for a flight,,, hope to meet up..xxx getting our bags packed,, lol,,

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