I'm from the UK, and i met a man in Tunisia who i've become involved with. So a long distance relationship i guess you could call it.
I'd really like to visit him, but am wondering if i booked a double room in a hotel for the week, would they allow me to let him stay in the room? He wouldn't be there all the time, as he'd be working. Also i know he'd not be allowed to eat there, etc (i was thinking an all inclusive hotel). But simple being allowed in my room? I mean surely it's my room that i've paid for, and he'd be my guest?
Or do you think they'd question me having a local in my room, if he' not officially a guest? I know in the UK i've booked a double room in my name, and invited my boyfriend at the time, and it was no problem.
Any advice appreciated thanks.
I would think that you would have problems in any AI hotel with having anybody extra staying in your room who wasn't a registered guest. In my experience hotels need all guests who are staying overnight in a room (as opposed to just visiting the hotel for a drink in the bar etc) to register and fill in the appropriate forms. If nothing else they need this in the event of a fire or similar emergency. In your situation would you not be better booking your hotel and flights separately? You could then book a double room for double occupancy with no problem.
I could rent an apartment i guess, i assume that's be easier to bring a guest to. But i wanted a hotel, for the entertainment and stuff during the day. I'll get bored on my own, and i wouldn't want to go out and do stuff by myself.
You would book a double room in your name and his?
To be blunt if you don't register him as a guest you run the risk of the hotel assuming that he is a paid escort that you are smuggling in and few hotels, especially those that are aiming for the family market, are going to be happy with that.
SM
I found this comment in Google search (posted in 2010) in response to a very similar question from a young lady who met a Tunisian man working in a hotel in Egypt. He since returned to Tunisia, told her he loved her and that he wanted her to come and meedt his family. She also asked about staying in a hotel with him and got this response: "If you want to stay with him in a hotel then you should be aware that he will not be allowed to stay in the same room as you. You will have to book 2 rooms and I am sure that you will be the one paying for this."
It's on this link: http://www.wordtravels.com/forum/discussion/1690/unmarried-couple-sharing-a-hotel-room-in-tunisia/p2
Maybe things are a little different in Tunisia than Egypt where it's totally not allowed for Egyptian men to share a room with non-Egyptian females or even Egyptian females unless they are married, but I would have expected there to be a fairly similar outlook on the situation,
sarfield wrote:I'm from the UK, and i met a man in Tunisia who i've become involved with. So a long distance relationship i guess you could call it.
I'd really like to visit him, but am wondering if i booked a double room in a hotel for the week, would they allow me to let him stay in the room? He wouldn't be there all the time, as he'd be working. Also i know he'd not be allowed to eat there, etc (i was thinking an all inclusive hotel). But simple being allowed in my room? I mean surely it's my room that i've paid for, and he'd be my guest?
Or do you think they'd question me having a local in my room, if he' not officially a guest? I know in the UK i've booked a double room in my name, and invited my boyfriend at the time, and it was no problem.
Any advice appreciated thanks.
I'm not sure how this would work, are he and his family strict Muslim's ? If so and he is found in your room, seen going in and out etc I would think he might get into trouble, particularly if he is an hotel worker of some kind even if it isn't in the hotel you choose to stay in. Witnessed the fall out from something similar in another country some years back and it didn't come out well for the local. I know you might think this is only your business as indeed it would be in our culture, but i'm not sure how other parties in Tunisia that might find out would deal with this. Your best bet I guess would be to book two interconnecting rooms for the week.
Since the revolution and the rise of the Islamists things have changed in Tunisia and most hotels will not now allow you to share a room with a Tunisian unless you can show your marriage certificate, although in the past this was rarely a problem. "Locals" are also banned from entering guests' rooms or even going into the part of the hotel in which they are situated unless they themselves are guests in the hotel. The only way round it would be to book 2 rooms from the UK, one in each of your names. You would need to ensure the name you gave for him is the same as the one on his identity papers as Tunisia has always been bureaucratic. Once the rooms were booked it would, of course, be entirely up to you whether you chose to use them both,
Once the rooms were booked it would, of course, be entirely up to you whether you chose to use them both,
Good idea Aslemma!
Actually I think it's the only idea which would work these days. In the past it wasn't so much of a problem, particularly if the hotel staff received a decent tip, but now even some mixed race families travelling with their children have been asked to show their marriage certificates. The rule doesn't apply to unmarried Europeans but only to those who are Arabic and therefore assumed to be Moslem, and incidentally this also applies to couples where both are Tunisian.
Tunisia seems one of the most liberal countries, and when i was there before, never had any problems. Me and him went to discos and danced together and kissed in public, drank and smoked. He also rented an apartment for us at one point. The apartment was booked though his friend though, so i don't know if maybe that's why it was 'allowed'. I certainly never got the impression that it was a problem. But then i wouldn't really know to be honest... i'm new to Tunisia.
Maybe i should just try to talk to him about it and see what he says.
Edit: Is sex before marriage really frowned upon even in comparatively liberal Tunisia? Cos from my experience, the guys seemed to be up for having sex pretty freely, and didn't treat it as a big deal. They would try to get me and my friend back to rented apartments to have sex. Maybe they just act like this with tourists? Cos Tunisian women would refuse to outside of marriage? But then that would still mean that the men didn't have any moral/religious qualm with it.
By all means ask your boyfriend. but don't necessarily believe his assurances that there won't be any problems.
I used to have a Tunisian boyfriend and the short answer - if you're booking the room in just your name - is no. If you're in an all inclusive, and he's not a guest there, he may not even be able to come into the hotel, never mind your room (though this would likely apply to AIs anywhere, not just Tunisia). If he works in the hotel, so can be there, he certainly wouldn't be allowed in the guests rooms as a non-paying guest.
It is illegal in Tunisia for a muslim to share a hotel room with someone of the opposite sex, who they're not married to. This was the case before the revolution, and from everything I’ve heard this is far from likely to change anytime soon. It used to be the case that some hotels didn't pay much attention to this, however many did, and if you booked the rooms on arrival at the hotel you would have to book 2 rooms.
Incidentally, I have booked a second room once, and it was quite clear from the room my boyfriend was given that they knew we had no intention of using it! Whether they approved or not, is beside the point - and I'm quite sure they didn't, but legally they were covered as we were booked in separately.
One hotel manager, in a smaller hotel, did tell me you could get around it by booking with an agency in the UK (or anywhere outside Tunisia) and because the agencies don't generally specify nationality in the booking details, the hotel will honour the booking when you arrive. I did this every time after and never had a problem, including at hotels I know to otherwise be quite strict on the matter.
HOWEVER - and I cannot stress this enough - my relationship ended before the revolution, and much has changed since then. I would not like to guarantee that the same tactic will still work, especially in the face of what Aslemma has said. Aslemma, by the way – as you’re new to the forum – is the board’s Tunisia guru! Please try and check before using this loophole, and if you can’t, go on the side of caution.
A.
I have heard that you may still be able to get round the situation by booking a double room from the UK, but in view of the present rise in 'traditional moral values' I still think you may experience problems on arrival. You may, of course, decide to risk taking this route but I would still say your only safe way to avoid problems or embarrassment would be to book 2 rooms.
Sorry Aslemma! Didn't mean to give you extra years, a sex change and facial hair!
I've certainly got quite a few years on the clock sunstruck but definitely female and still no whiskers thank goodness.
I wonder why my Tunisian bf was so open about kissing me in public then. We had a day at the beach and he was smooching and being very physically affectionate, in full view of people. It's things like that that made it feel like it wasn't a big deal. So i'm surprised by what you've all told me.
Initially my (ex) boyfriend was quite open about this too. Less so over time. I'm assuming that, like me, you met your boyfriend in a resort and that most if not all of your time together so far was spent in touristy locations, like the beach, tourist bars etc.
Tourism is Tunisia's main source of income, and without it the already high unemployment rate would be far higher. They accept that foreigners' codes of acceptable behaviour are different to theirs and as such in the resorts and to an extent the larger cities - in short anywhere that has more exposure to Western influence - such behaviour is tolerated, accepted and in general has a blind eye turned towards it (provided it's not truly outrageous / doesn't break any laws). While some are certainly more open minded than others, this tolerance does not always equal approval. However, you will rarely (in my experience and that of others I've known in a simialr situation) encounter any open display of any such disapproval. In the resorts and tourist bars etc, your boyfriend may well be wiling to kiss you and show physical affection. Go somewhere a bit more off the beaten track and this might be different.
You were correct in your observation that Tunisia is one of the most liberal muslim countries, and I would think that even with the rise of the Islamists that, for the moment at least, this is still true. But make no mistake, it is still a muslim country.
A.
Whilst I accept that the relationship may be everything you could wish for you do need to seriously consider if it is not a one sided affair. I have read of many stories such as yours that, to be quite blunt, are more to do with getting a visa to settle in the UK than being what you may think.
With all due respect you need to stand back and think about this. Does he really mean all those words of affection or is he using you?
fwh
For my own part, this crossed my mind right from the start, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and be on my guard. In the end my relationship ended for quite normal reasons for relationships ending, and since we were together for a few years with no pressure from him for us to live in the UK (in fact, the plan was always for me to move there), I am reasonably convinced that he wasn't with me for a visa. But in my time to and fro to Tunisia, I witnessed a few examples of the 'long - con' type of relationship and heard countless more stories, some of which made my toes curl and a handful that actually turned my stomach too.
All that said, not all are in it for visas or / and money and I am aware of plenty of success stories too. This includes a friend who has been happily married to her Tunisian husband for several years. In short, it can work and it may be genuine, and of course I hope it is, but you're right to point out the potential that it isn't.
Trying to edit this to show the word replaced by question marks! It won't let me change it, so I'll try again. The word should read con as in con-artist.
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Edited by
sunstruck
2013-06-30 18:17:07
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