With the forum being quiet again I thought you might like this little story:

We went to Vagator for the day - what a beautiful place.

We battle through the beach sellers and set up camp on some sunbeds outside the shacks on some sunbeds close to the Shirva carvings. As normal I leave the girls (my missus and daughter) to lap up the sun rays intermittent with jumping into the sea to cool down. I stride off West down the beach for my customary walk.

I pass Indians chatting fully clothed looking out to the sea and dipping their toes in the water giggling as they do it. I go pass Middle Vagator Beach and then enter the enclave leading to Little Vagator Beach. This beach is desolate, peaceful and best of all free of the beach sellers. I see a chocolate figure in the distance coming towards me. I can tell it is a man his swagger gives him away. As he get's closer sure enough he is a Goan with a broad white smile, as wide as can be. He says 'Hello' and say 'Hello' and smile back at him. As we pass each other he winks and say' 'You look sexy'. I go bright red, cannot think what to say, turn round just as he turns round and he winks again. We both carry on walking in opposite directions. I am now mad with myself because I didn't know what to say - and more importantly I am mad 'cos I missed the moment to say something. After all no man has ever said 'I was sexy' - nor a woman come to that. So I shout out' If he was down the pub and said that I would have"¦"¦I would have '.Then I burst out laughing and realize what a twat I was. 'What's the big deal anyway' as I raise my head and shout into the sky and the cool wind. I carry on smiling and thinking. I see the ruins of the Fort on the hill on the peninsular at the end of the beach.

Right 'I'm going up to see that' I mumble to myself. I soon forget the beach and try several dead end paths through the gorse, goat droppings and scorched grass to try and get to the top. After 40 minutes or so I find the right path and enter the ruined gateway into the fort. I am greeted by another male Goan, smiling again as they do. This time his teeth are bad and he has rectangular polystyrene box perilously perched on his shoulder. I am on my own in this vast place and no - one is to be seen for miles around.'This chap looks dodgey' I think to myself. So I treat his 'Hello Sir' with caution - particularly after the last encounter. I am now thinking that the near miss of a gay encounter on Little Vagator beach is now being replaced with being slaughtered by a demented Goan hill billy in a place that I'll never be found. 'In the distance, Sir you can see the Chapora river meeting the sea and further up the beach you can see Morjim beach and then"¦"¦"¦"¦"¦' I am suddenly back with mother earth. 'Oh right'. I blurt out and follow Tommy around the ruined walls as he points out the places of interest. The views are spectacular. We get half round the Fort and I find out that Tommy is not an official guide after all. But I reconcile myself to perhaps giving him a small tip for his knowledge and cheery outlook on life.

'Sir, would you like a drink Sir?', Tommy suddenly asks. 'How much' I replied. 'Not much Sir'. I think and against my instincts I say 'OK, yes please'. He lowers the polystyrene box and lays it on the floor. The contents are cans of cola and squidgey juice cartons with the cellophane containing straws strapped to them- all sloshing around in luke warm water which was once ice. 'I'll have a mango juice Tommy' I say. 'OK Sir. Can I have one as well Sir.' Tommy asks and looks at me waiting for the answer. 'Of course you can have one, they are yours after all', at that moment I knew I had made a mistake, but I had said it and that was that. Tommy continues his tour around the walls and eventually we end up back at the gateway. 'How much do I owe you Tommy', I say as I smile at him waiting for the sting. '80 rupees Sir' he grins. '80 rupees - how do you get that' I reply in a high pitched voice. 'Well 40 rupees for your drink and 40 rupees for my drink', he says, still grinning. 'So you overcharge me for my drink and then you charge me for your drink that you bought anyway and eventually you would drink it - how does that work?' I put my stern face on now. 'Sir, I have to bring all of these drinks up the hill from miles away and the box is a lot heavier than it is now when all of the ice is in the box', his expression is still the same, he is still grinning. 'But you can buy these drinks for 20 rupees in the shops' I say breaking into a smile again. 'Not up here you can't Sir there are no shops!!'. Well that was it - I just burst out laughing. This of course made him laugh and the two of us were soon in uncontrollable fits of laughter at the top of hill somewhere in Goa. What a guy. I gave Tommy his 80 rupees as I bade farewell to him and as I galloped down the hill I was thinking ' That's another one of life's experiences that I will never forget - I'll put that in the memory banks forever with the others.

McGroogle