Hi Wilfie,

Our cruise thread is still there, just we haven't been posting to it
http://www.holidaytruths.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=19552

We have a few more going on our cruise, but we seem to be flying from 3 different airports!
Check our thread, think there are two others going from Heathrow,
Also worth checking the threads of those who have returned. Lots of info including menus.

Scarlet still cant see any pictures
Some of us are waiting to see what Myles case looks like

Peter

Ps see that the upgrade to a new HT server is effecting some of the emoticons and avatars. Think Van did most of the work in the early hours!

I've had 5 hours kip in the past 36 so am heading to bed shortly....

The emots and avs should be back on tomorrow as should the search facility which is currently up the swanny (Sorry Pete - Gotta love the search ).

Van

Morning All

Back from the Melody. Great time. Sorry I couldn't post - explanation later.

Luci - please excuse me for posting like this, I'll do a proper report later but I've got a long list I have to get through first, most of which isn't suitable for a main report.

I've decided to post in small chunks, as I've got too much experience of long e-mails and posts disappearing into the ether. I'll tell you when I've finished my list, then I'll begin to catch up on the past week and also answer any queries you may have.

Firstly, I enjoyed the cruise on the whole, but there were many negatives too - if you've cruised before on other shipping lines, they'll become very obvious which is why I decided to list them all. I was thoroughly depressed the first day, as so much was so bad - but most people I spoke to said they'd cruise on the Melody again, though they were the ones who'd either never cruised before or hadn't cruised on other ships. Several said they'd never cruise on the Melody again, and I certainly wouldn't. But once I got used to the standards, I started enjoying myself, and I think most of you will too.

Firstly, would I collect the tokens if I'd known then what I know now? Most definitely YES, as I've learnt more than I'd have believed possible. Would I collect them again? Absolutely NOT. I hope what follows doesn't depress Melodians, it shouldn't - on the contrary, if you're prepared for the standards your expectations won't be too high and you won't be disappointed if they're not met.

More to follow...........

Firstly, MSC: I wouldn't cruise with them again. I didn't want to post this beforehand as I didn't want anybody to prejudge them, but I went to their office a couple of weeks before my cruise, armed with my passport and driving license to prove beyond doubt who I am and where I live, but the only response I got from them was ''data protection act''. Mentioning the freedom of information act didn't help, they repeated the ''data protection act'' mantra. I said if I went to my doctor and asked what's wrong with me, she wouldn't quite the dpa and say she can't tell me - I'm not asking for info on other people, just me - same response, data protection act. I said I hope the cruise crew are more helpful than you, and that I wouldn't cruise with MSC again - then walked out. I didn't get an upgraded cabin - no surprise there........

My list isn't in strict order, I just wrote things down when I thought of it. So here goes: I left my phone on overnight at Heathrow, I was still scared of a last-minute phone call telling me it was all off. I only switched it off after I checked in. Terminal 2 only has 1 eatery on overnight. It's also OK for sleeping, not as crowded as the other one I've slept in several times - though whether that will remain the case during holiday seasons is another matter.

There was a drunk asleep on the floor of the ladies loo. Several requests to different people finally resulted in his removal - he was too drunk to realize where he was. It emerged the security staff knew his name, he (along with others) sleep there every night, but they're harmless and there's no law that can get them removed.

You can't check in for your Alitalia flight before 4.30 am, though by then there's a very long queue. The departure lounge doesn't open before 5.00, again a long queue forms. You start to board at 5.30, which leaves no time for anything.

Alitalia food going was awful, coming back not quite so bad.

Descent into Malpensa was bad, ears bursting as never before.

Met Derek at Malpensa, the English hostess on the Melody - Ayesha - put the rest of us in contact with each other. The coach left Malpensa at 11.15 am, 3/4 hr earlier than the previous week's. It depends on which flight they're waiting for, and if it's early or late etc.

The ship's crew don't all speak English, and those who do don't usually reach the standard of those on other ships. I couldn't understand a word my cabin stewardess spoke, and vice versa - until I heard her speak French with an unusual accent, so I could at least make myself understood. But that was on the penultimate day.......

There's no 24-hour tea/coffee in any of the lounges, but you can order it in your cabin free of charge.

My luggage arrived very late, at 4 pm. It was difficult to do everything one has to do, including queueing for ever to be registered for your dinner placing - emergency evacuation drill was at 5.30 (if I remember correctly) and then it was a rush to finish unpacking and get ready for dinner - first sitting, 6.45.

There was only one waste bin in my cabin, in the bathroom. By the way, do keep your bathroom door closed at night, if the ship rocks it will bang and wake you up - sorry, forgot to mention that one in previous months.

My drawers weren't cleaned, and some of them were so narrow that I kept forgetting just how little you can open them and I pulled them out more often than I can remember.

There were no face flannels. When I phoned to ask why, the woman who answered didn't know what they were. When I explained, I was told ''you English, you always ask for them''. I said they're standard on cruise ships from other countries too, and in hotels around the world. No answer there. Lucky I brought my own.

There was only one excursion suitable for people with mobility problems, and that was in Genoa (for people who had boarded at other ports).

A fruit bowl was put in my cabin, with fruits including kiwi. I don't eat them, which should have been obvious from the fact that they were left there every day. Instead of taking them away, 2 suddenly appeared. Except when the kitchen apparently ran out of them, then mine suddenly vanished along with at least one other passenger's who happened to mention it.

The water in my shower didn't drain properly, and at least one other passenger had that problem too.

The cabin stewardess puts ''do not disturb'' notices on your door handle every morning. I leave mine there till after breakfast, as I like to tidy up a little before she does my cabin. But I soon realized that was useless, as she took no notice of the ''do not disturb''.

Air conditioning in parts of the ship was set too cold for many of us. You can adjust the one in your cabin.

Some of them don't know what a lift is, and if you ask where the elevator is you're more likely to be understood.

Now for excursions: I don't normally do more than 2 per cruise, especially if one is full-day, as I find them tiring otherwise. But we were in most ports for such a short time that I decided to try doing 4 (all of which were excellent - more later). So I couldn't post on HT after all - I was either doing an excursion or recovering from one. Each time I thought of leaving the ship to find an Internet cafe I was just too tired.

Excursions: Capri (brilliant), Tunis (historical and cultural) - very, very interesting. Ibiza - tour of the southern part of the island - absolutely beautiful. St Tropez - did the port and town one, fascinating tour.

Excursion tickets: mine weren't put under my cabin door, as they always are on other ships. I phoned, told they will be put there tomorrow. You've guessed it: they weren't. I phoned and went there every day, only to be told ''tomorrow''. Eventually I was told they couldn't produce duplicates of the orange ones, I'll have to obtain green ones from the crew member who checks my name on her list and I'll have no problem getting on the excursion with a green one. But you have to queue each time for the green ones while everybody else gets on the coach and gets the best seats. I got fed up with this after 2 excursions, and demanded my green ones from the excursion desk. ''The manager isn't here, come back in 30 minutes''. I said I've come here to enjoy myself, not spend all my time at the excursion desk. She eventually made the manager give me a green one for my 3rd excursion. I then forced her to give me the one for my 4th one too, and got fed up with how difficult they make some things - it's less of a holiday and more of a battlefield sometimes.

We were running late on the Capri trip, and I was worried about missing sail-away time. Ayesha said the Capri trip always runs late, the ship won't sail without us. That just about sums up the cruise - slipshod, if we don't do it today we might do it tomorrow........

Entertainment: very low standards in just about every department. I lost count of how often the juggler dropped his balls. (don't snigger at the back.....). Some of it was more suited to 10-year-olds. Music awful, choreography abysmal, I could go on........

Do go to the talk Ayesha gives on ports of call, she'll tell you bits of vital info you might be VERY glad of. One example is taxis in Tunis - if you go in one alone, you could be quoted 10 euros, and at the end of the ride they could up that to 30 - you'll be surrounded by the driver's friends, and you'll just have to pay up.

There was no full-length mirror in my cabin, nor was there one in any of the ladies' loos I used.

The Capri trip was so late back (sorry I forgot to mention this bit) that I tried my best to get off the hydrofoil first, and made my way to the ship alone even though it was a little complicated - luckily, I soon saw another couple following me and they were sure of the way. Otherwise I'd have missed dinner - the restaurant doors close 15 minutes after the sitting starts.

The restaurant waiters often bring the wrong food. Make sure it's what you ordered before you start tucking in.

I phoned for tea in my cabin, once it didn't appear and I phoned again - ''sorry, we forgot your cabin number''. There's nothing on their switchboard (if they've got one) that tells them your cabin number, they ask you for it. And if you're on Bahamas or Premier, do say those words - if you say P or B they could confuse them.

The sink in my cabin was too near the loo, so you couldn't use it properly without bumping into the loo seat. I eventually contorted my torso enough to use the sink almost adequately.

The maps they give you of the ports of call are useless, there's no indication of where shops or most places of interest are, they're just street maps. And they're cheap photocopies. You get a detailed history every evening of tomorrow's port, but unless you're interested in history you won't want to read much of it. I read some of it, just out of interest in how many things the Melody gets wrong.

Once I ordered tea in my cabin, the jug's lid wasn't closed properly and it fell into my tea. Twice the waiters who brought my tea just stood there chatting, about where they came from, whether I was alone, what I was doing that evening, etc, and it was VERY difficult to let them know I wanted them to leave. That just about sums up the standards of the crew.

Once my tea order just didn't come, and after an hour I gave up and drank a glass of water. On the last morning, at breakfast in the restaurant, I ordered a full English. I wondered why the waiters were standing around, then I realized they were waiting for me to go. Then I realized they'd forgotten my full English, so I asked them again. I did get it that time

I wanted to switch my cabin radio to ''announce'' without the music, but it hissed the rest of the time so I gave up.

Ladies loos on public deck space have no hooks, you just hang your bag on the door handles.

Waiting for a lift (sorry, elevator) can be a pain, especially at busy times when it stops on each deck on the way up and then again on the way down. I was almost late for one of Ayesha's talks, as I waited for ever for an overcrowded lift.

I was really depressed the first day, as everything seemed to be so very different from previous cruises and standards were so much lower. But the Capri excursion was thoroughly enjoyable, and lifted me enormously. After that I began to enjoy myself.

Take at least one serviette with you when you get tea or coffee at the tea bar, as someone is bound to jog your table leg and it will spill into your saucer. You can then put your cup onto the serviette, and it won't drip on your clothes while you drink it.

I doubt the swimming pools were ever emptied except when they had to be, e.g. for maintenance or an event, and I wonder how many germs had collected over how many cruises. Other ships empty and clean them every evening without fail.

There were no spare loo rolls in any of the ladies I used. Once, all the loo roll had run out, as had the tissues, and people were using the thick paper towels - I remembered the HT items on the ship that had to be evacuated because of blocked loos, and I reported it to a senior-looking chap. He grunted a couple of ''um''s, and I thought he probably understood me. I went back an hour later - still no loo rolls or tissues. I reported it to a cleaner - this time I assume something was done, and I had no more energy to fight with them over anything else. By the way, I got teased about that endlessly, Ayesha even turned up at my cabin door on Sunday evening with 3 loo rolls........

One buffet dish was marked ''fish'' - no idea WHICH fish, but at least everybody knew it WAS fish..........

The decks are not always even, so deepish pools of water linger on - eventually the crew realize they'll have to do something about it all as the sun won't burn it off (it's too deep), so they swish it all away.

Just before the security exit at Malta, there's a duty-free shop that sells ciggies - 23 euros for 200 (actually, my list says 13 euros, but I'm sure I've got that one wrong).

Once I was coming out of a ladies loo and a male waiter walked in to wash his hands. I reported it to another waiter, who obviously thought it was nothing unusual.

I once worked as a secretary for a company who advertised in a local newspaper. It was a disaster - I stayed for 3 months, which was the average for secretaries as none of them can stand it. I later discovered that employment agencies don't handle their work, they've got such a bad reputation. The warning bells should have sounded as soon as I realized that no high street travel agents I spoke to, handle MSC - I didn't ask why - now I think I know.

Some passengers' passports were held by the ship during the cruise. One couple needed theirs back for Tunis, where the authorities come on board and stamp your passport (this happens on other ships too). They couldn't find her passport for some time, just one more example of ''it will be all right on the night'' - all was well at the end.