To be fair I think she is quite right to ask for her half of the money ( if you are taking someone else on the holiday )minus the administration cost to change the name . Can the new person not give you any money , as they seem to be the one that is benefiting most !!!

If I'm reading your post correctly, your friend agreed to do the change of name as she was the lead name. What was the agreement about payment when she changed the name? surely you must have discussed it

I don't think she's entitled to all her money back just because she changed her mind but can your holiday companion afford to give her something as a 'good will gesture' as she/he did benefit from a free holiday.

Tell her to get a letter from her doctor that states she is unfit to travel and get her to claim from her insurance.

I wouldn't think she can claim if the holiday was used by somebody else,would they pay just because she changed her mind,and if they did pay then the op would have had to lose her money or go on her own.Surely that wouldn't be fair,I think that the person who took her place should make a token gesture but no way would I give her the full price,She should never have booked the holiday knowing how nervous she is and should not expect the full amount back from anybody,the fault is hers alone.

I agree with a token gesture say 50% of the cost, it would be interesting if you hadn't managed to find someone and ended up not going would she have paid you as it was her fault.

The problem going away with friends is that these things happen, before I married and travelled with friends we agreed on the rules, anyone dropping out would cover the extra cost for the others, this only happened once all due to the lad not saving enough money to pay for the holiday when due and have spending money, we cancelled his place which increased our cost but true to his word he covered our under occupancy charge.

Dave

A lot depends on how much you value this friendship and whether you still want to remain friends with her or not. Bluntly, if the holiday was all paid for and the name change done and paid for already too, then legally you could tell her to go whistle for it. But don't expect the friendship to survive that! And you have to ask yourself if this the morally correct thing to do even if it is legal?

On the other hand, if you want to remain friends with her, then as a goodwill gesture you are going to have to come up with some sort of conciliatry gesture. After all, it's not as if she bottled out at the very last minute and left you in the lurch by just not turning up at the airport - she took the decision not to go in good enough time for you to sort out the name change etc. As lead passenger she could legally have done the really dirty thing on you and just cancelled the holiday for both of you. And as Kerry and Shirley have pointed out - the person who went with you has benefitted from your friend's anxiety about flying which sounds very real if she had to go to her GP and get Valium prescribed.

If she had taken out insurance and if her doctor is willing to provide written confirmation that she was not in a fit state to fly, then she might be able claim against her insurance as Cyprus100 suggests. In which case she wouldn't be out of pocket if the person who went with you agreed to pay her the cost of the admin fee for the name change plus any excess on her policy. That way you would all have done the decent thing - your friend wouldn't be out of pocket, you would still have got your holiday and your travelling companion has had a very cheap holiday as a result of stepping into the breach.

She should never have booked the holiday knowing how nervous she is and should not expect the full amount back from anybody,the fault is hers alone.

I think that this is a little harsh - my reading of the situation is that she initially felt that with the support of her friend (and she had after all told her that she was a very nervous flyer) that she would be able to cope but anybody who has suffered with an anxiety disorder will know that things aren't always as cut and dried as Oscarben suggests when it comes to making a decision about what in the end you will or won't be able to cope with. And I'm sure that the OP was doing it with the best of intentions but having noticed that her friend didn't seem to be as excited as she was at the thought of going away, putting pressure on her to go shopping and get organised etc could have just made the situation worse rather than better.

SM

At what point before your travel date did she tell you "No, I'm not coming"?

If she had cancelled the holiday herself at that point what sort of refund would she have been entitled to from the Tour Operator? Bearing in mind she would not have been able to claim on her travel insurance for changing her mind, regardless of reason!

If she was going to get something back from Tour Operator for cancelling fair do's.....if she wasn't then personally I would be reluctant to part with any money given that if you hadn't been able to get someone else to go with you, your holiday would have been ruined. Me being me tho' I would probably offer a small token gesture but explain my reasons why I've offered that amount and why she isn't entitled to any more.

I read the original post as being 5 days before departure when the friend decided not to go,so I doubt that any money would have been refunded by the tour operator and the holiday would have been completely ruined for the original poster.As I see it she had to find somebody to go with her or lose the holiday too.It would have been much easier if there had been more people going as one person dropping out would not have made such an impact but I still don't think that anyone should pay the full amount for using the holiday.A token gesture to say thank-you should suffice,had the tour operator been informed they may have tried to re-sell the flight at least ,making more money by selling it twice.

there was a similar issue raised a while ago
http://holidaytruths.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=49&t=138599
surely something was discussed at the time the change of name was done as to covering the cost of the holiday.
any decision you take will affect the friendship you have/had.
if you are happy to lose the friendship then stick to your guns. if you want the friiendship to continue then i think that you should pay something more than just the change of name charges.
it all comes down to that, and what was discussed when the change of name was done.

Hey thank yopu for your replies...
She did drop out 5 days before and our T&C's of the holiday say that cancelling 10 days or less before you will lose 100% vost of your holiday... As for you saying my friend 'benefitted' from the holiday is a very big understatement... she said she was a LITTLE nervous not enough to take valium as she doesnt like taking tablets..?! My friend that stepped in was actually bullied into it by myself and my mum as there was no-one else to go... the reasons she didnt want to go as at this moment in time she hasnt got a job and was the only person that i could find that didnt have work or other commitments... She had to borrow money off her family - which trust me is very hard - shes paysing that back out of her benefits and still has to live day by day while trying to find a job... she never came on this holiday expecting it to be free but my argument is... she wouldnt of given me any money had it been the other way around of me 'changing my mind'... ?

ohh and nothing was dicussed when the change of name was done she did it over the phone and then posted the tickets i needed through the door... no mention of money was ever done and she also didnt have any insurance..?!

For your experience, I feel sorry. Your friend may not care about you the same as you do to her. Actually, you should discuss with her about this issue.
I really don't think you need to give her 50% of the cost because she canceled the date. However, if you want to remain friendship with her, you may need to compromise to some extent. It all depends on you.
In my point of view, a friend in need is the friend indeed. You had better think twice before you make a decision.

hi JAngelz....I cant judge but only say what I would have done in your friends position......I would have been upset having promised to go on holiday with you and be letting you down....worried and concerned that I had put you in a position where by you either went alone or lost your money......I would have been relieved you had found someone else to take my place....knowing I had no insurance , and was out of the time when I could have cancelled and got any of my money back, and my choice would be to go or loose all I had paid for the holiday. ...having taken the option of not going I would have accepted I had lost my money....

As a true friend I would be sad to not be going with you ....but so relieved you hadnt lost your holiday too, and had someone else to enjoy your holiday with....I would have told you "have a great time, that I was really upset about not being able to go too"....I would have asked you to phone or text lots while you were away, telling me what youve been up to....take loads of photos....and come round soon as come home....oh and dont forget to bring me a bottle of wine ....

I would of asked you to try going on a coach next time so I didnt have to fly.

But Im not your friend....tweetie

You have hit the nail on the head,Tweetie,a true friend would be soooo pleased that the holiday was rescued for you that there would be no question of money changing hands,a bottle of wine or duty free would be enough.

My friend that stepped in was actually bullied into it by myself and my mum as there was no-one else to go... the reasons she didnt want to go as at this moment in time she hasnt got a job and was the only person that i could find that didnt have work or other commitments...

OK, I don't want to sound harsh but I would suggest that you should stop this right there - you're beginning to present a picture of yourself that is going to result in you losing rather than gaining sympathy for your predicament. Admitting that becasue you didn't want to lose your holiday, you and your Mum bullied this other friend into going with you knowing that she'd be getting into debt which she'd find hard to pay back and that you only asked her because you couldn't find anyone else to go doesn't paint you in a good light either. But clearly, the friend who did go can't afford to re-pay the friend who didn't, so it's down to you to decide what sort of gesture you are going to make if any.

she never came on this holiday expecting it to be free but my argument is... she wouldnt of given me any money had it been the other way around of me 'changing my mind'... ?

People have offered a range of personal opinions in response to your dilemma but it looks as if you have decided not to offer her anything other than the money for the name change - the bare minimum that was needed to ensure that you could still go on this holiday. That's fair enough - as I said before, she can't force you to do even this because as lead name she was entirely responsible in law for the full price of the holiday for both of you and any amendments that ere made to the original booking. But you seem to now be looking for confirmation that in doing so you are doing the 'right' thing and it's fairly clear that some of us agree with you and others aren't so sure. In the end you have to make your own decision based on how important both of these friendships are to you because from the sound of it, there isn't a solution that all three of you will be happy with.

You don't mention how old any of you are and whether you regularly go on holiday with friends or not but, all three of you, please don't let this stand-off degenerate to the level of the playground. Friends are priceless when you all stand together with each other - you don't know when you'll need the support of these two people in the future. If I appear to be more sympathetic than you'd like to your friend it's because I have recently been battling with a health condition that is made worse by stress and anxiety. I know that I couldn't have done as well as I have without the support of good friends around me - and for all sorts of reasons you too might be in need of such support from your friends in the future. If you value the friendships at risk here, don't throw them away lightly.

That said, I do think that you need to put this whole sorry business down to experience and before you commit yourself to going on holiday with friends in the future make sure that you all discuss and agree what the financial arrangements will be in the event of anybody changing their mind etc. And all be clear about the implications of being 'lead name' on the booking because, yes, if the situation had been reversed and you had changed your mind, as lead name she couldn't have forced you to pay a penny of her losses either.

SM

Thanks for your reply... I see that the word I used 'bullied' was wrong and i admit that and apologise... I'm 23 and I have never been on holiday with friends.. I have always gone with my family and this was my first experience of going abraod with a friend.. Now that I have reread what I have said I realise I have used the wrong wording so I'm going to try and redo it...
I am sorry to hear of your stress and health problems as my childhood does suffer with this and I know how bad she is... However the friend that backed out of the holiday (22) has never had this before... Has flown more then 15 times in her lifetime - which i have never - and to my recent findings also backed out of a holiday 5 days day before she was due to go last year - which i only found out when i got back from the holiday.. and also she already had plans for a birthday party when we were away that she had already planned to go to before telling me.. I'm not asking for people to tell me if I'm doing the 'right' thing... i have jus never been in this situation before and am stumped as to what to do... If the shoe was on the other foot i wouldve taken full responsibility for the fact that its my fault she had to find someone else so i would suffer the loss of the holiday as it clearly states in the T&C's i would not expect an emergency step in to pay me off for a holiday i didnt go on because i changed my mind.. its unfair on them as they wouldve been doing her a favour.. And thank you Tweetie thats exactly what I wouldve done..

Not exactly the same but in my teens I booked to go away with my 2 friends....we had a big falling out on the Xmas Eve (long story) and I felt if she could do what she did to me on Xmas Eve, she could do it all those miles away from home and leave me absolutely knackered so I told her I wasn't prepared to go away on holiday with her.

She soon found someone else to take my place, I lost my deposit and the girl who took my place obviously gained from a cheaper holiday....I wasn't in the least bit bothered about losing my deposit becos' a) I wanted nothing to do with her and and b) it was my decision not to go ultimately

In your shoes I'd be offering her the nothing she would have got from the tour operator for cancelling at such short notice....the fact she did the same thing to someone else last year speaks volumes and I'd be walking away with a clear conscience....she clearly couldn't care less about the possibility of you losing your holiday! If she knew she was going to lose all her money by cancelling I don't know why she thinks she's 'owed' anything at all, just becos' you found someone to fill her place.

If you friend who was supposed to be accompanying you had already flown several times before, then sorry, her excuse was unacceptable. Dropping out 5 days before she would have expected to lose her money, so I wouldn't feel like refunding it to her.

A similar thing happened to my son - booked with a girlfriend, broke up with her, a friend of his said he'd go with him and pay his half, then dropped out a few days before! Neverthless, his friend promised to pay his half (which my son would have given to his ex girlfriend!), but the money never materialised and it ended a 10 year friendship. My son also forfeited the holiday, so both he and his ex lost out.

Having travelled a lot on my own, and usually freelance without the group back-up, I've had some wonderful holidays. Why don't people in this situation ever consider going it alone? It can be great fun, and you can make a lot of friends along the way! The first time you do it is a bit daunting, but honestly, you can have a great time writing your own inventory!