hi
just returned from our 3rd trip to beautiful fantastic goa!
loved being back there but we made a huge huge mistake by inviting family to come with us.........omg!

ive posted before on this forum last year after our previous 2 trying trips to goa where we have taken my mum in law along. she spends her entire 2 weeks in that wonderful place on a serious quest for the perfect onion gravy & lambchop dinner. and if that perfect lambchop & accompaniment is not found oh oh oh do we ( me & my husband ) get to hear about it!!!
every meal is disected & analysed to the nth degree for days not only after but also before. it is agonisingly painful. now dont get me wrong i do actually like my mum in law but to say the smile on my face begins to slip after 2 weeks would be an understatement. mum in law spots the word 'gravy' on a menu in an indian resteraunt in goa and it takes ages for us to convince her that 'rich red onion gravy accompanying lamb rogan josh' is not likely to be bisto sodding gravy and lamb stew (like the sort you would find in manchester! - although i think you would prob struggle to find b***y lambchops & gravy on a menu of any decent resteraunt in manchester...but feel free to correct me if im wrong!

anyway how i managed to get myself in the situation of mum in law with us in the first place after stating loudly to other half after a similar 2 weeks of moans & menu analysis last year is that other half decides to invite his younger brother & his gf along this time too - hopefully this will spread the strain of mum in law and ease the pressure (on moi!)

bother in law is about 34yrs of age........i find this hard to believe after the performance i witnessed over the last 2 weeks in goa, he reminded me of a spoilt 3 year old, but by saying that im probably being a little harsh on the majority of 3 year olds around.

i'll give you a quick summary of what a holiday with this cretin was like.
day 1 - drinks himself into oblivion & disappears into room for next 24hrs.
day 3 - appears briefly in evening drinks himself into oblivion again & disappears for another 24 hrs.
ps: i have nothing against drinking too much on holiday quite the opposite but we were a bit worried about him.
day 4 - we are graced with his presence and decide to head off to our fav beach for the day ashvem. arrive at ashvem say hi to all our old goan friends settle for fantastic relaxing day in beautiful place. 2 hrs later the 34yr old child pipes up ' im bored' and despite doing our best to ignore him our day is spoiled! added to this the fact his gf got badly sunburned & wasnt feeling well - not her fault she was wearing mega (60+) factor sunblock and despite suffering was she wasnt complaining........no she did her best to stay chirpy. the child however was still moaning & whinging non stop!
our taxi driver arrived early so we decided to give into the childs demands & head back to calangute.
for dinner we decided to go to bobs inn - one of our fav places to eat (just like the interesting bits & pieces inside)
child decides to grace us once again with his presence(unfortunately!)
we were shown to a table in an alcove next to a very unfortunate couple who were quietly enjoying their meal. ( if you recognise this and it was you i can only offer a million trilllion apologies) child starts talking at the top of his voice about his rear end problems & cream he is using to alleviate the said problems. and also offers us all indepth descriptions of altered bowel habits he has been experiencing whilst in goa. mum in law did her best to shut him up but he was having none of it! now im not a snob by any means but i was really really embarrassed and omg how sorry did i feel for the couple next to us, their dinner had arrived & it would have been very difficult for them to have moved table by then.
as i have only ever met brother in law on 3 occasions before (i met my husb in australia & we live in london, his family (thankfully) are in manchester) i felt a bit uncomfortable in telling him myself to shut up any hints we gave that he was behaving like a complete prat were ignored.
anyway child stuffs his dinner down his neck in world record time (homer simpson did spring to mind) literally 5 seconds after his last mouthful ws consumed we get anothr..............'im bored'
with that it gets up gets a bottle of fosters from a waiter & goes off to find a taxi.
thank god we all sigh with relief!
day 5 child has had severe falling out with gf she has now moved in with mum in law.
rest of week carries on in similar vein.
week 2.....child has fallen out not only with gf but also mum in law, we see little of him ( are we sorry omg no........its heaven!)
middle of week 2 we bump into child now sporting a black eye, missing nasty chav thick gold chains round his neck. story unfolds slowly ( yes he's absolutely paralyitic again - its 11am) he got a taxi up to 'some rav beach' for a party and got mugged. lost chains,mobile phone (why? it didnt work in goa) &£100. they'd pulled a knife on him.thankfully the knife he had bought whilst in goa (???? dont ask) was found & thrown out by his mum a few days before, whcih is why by this stage he had also fallen out with her.
sheer stupidity.........he'd spent 10 days staggering round calangute shirtless with these huge gold chains round his neck, chains that would feed a family in goa for probably a year. for those of you who have just come back from goa you may have seen him - drunk, 6ft3 huge belly with tatoos on it, roaming around calangute near the osborne behaving like a total
would he roam around manchester in that state??? anywhere???? or i guess he made the stupid arrogant mistake of thinking anyone with a different colour skin, 'funny accent' is therefore inferior stupid & weak.

anyway not nice to happen to anyone but im afraid i didnt have much sympathy for him he basically set himself up. this is a supposed 'hard man' ha ha ha ha ha dont make me laugh........hard man........more like total mindless moron.

anyway i wont bore you with the rest, we escaped to ashvem for a few days to get away from the lot of them.

we have also decided to go back to goa in march to try again to have OUR holiday, we despite all the childs antics still loved being back in goa & still managed to go to lots of our fav places & catch up with good friends but cant WAIT to get back in march on our own where we can actually spend time in goa without having to listen to any moaning, whinging or the word lambchop!!!!

as for the child he was still behaving like a total prat all the way home, from not having enough money to pay our taxi driver ( funny he still had enough dosh to buy a bottle of champagne on the flight home) to trying to be a smart with customs in the uk.

apologies for rambling on with my sorry tale but i fell so much better now it is off my chest!!!! and to any of you thinking of inviting family on your next holiday please think about it very carefully.