I am a solo traveller and whilst I understand there are some brilliant solo traveller companies out there, I never quite fancied it myself. I think I have this misconception that it will be like an old fashioned grab a granny night . Anyway as I said I am a solo traveller and for me cruising suits me down to the ground, have been on a couple and other booked for March this year. There are plenty of cruise lines to suit your fancy from fancy & formal to casual, which I prefer. The main thing that I take into account is Safety, and cruising I feel very safe, I can come and go as I please on all decks see anything and feel very safe and secure. You can get short breaks too.

Putting myself in your mam's shoes, I'm presuming she goes on holiday with yourself and hubby because she hasn't anyone else to go with and so therefore it's her only chance of a holiday?

Your mam could do with a good friend who also likes to holiday. I'm sure she too would rather be with someone 'of her own' rather than 'tag' along with you and hubby. Isn't there anyone for instance who would make up a 4th for this years holiday? Your mam and them could go off and do their own thing then maybe next year they'll approach you and say they're sorry but they fancy somewhere different on their own

I think it is very difficult. The main problem is not the availability of the holidays for you Mum or other single women. It's breaking it to her that you dont want her to come away on your precious one week together which you just want to share with your Hubbie. What you want is IMHO totally reasonable.

My poor cousin had this as a problem for 10 years. as she couldn't deal with it. Her Dad died and the Mum just assumed it would then be OK to come with her, hubbie and kids year after year after year.

They did not have a lot of money and 3 young kids so could only have one holiday a year so all the options people suggest off the cuff like oh buy a second holiday for her as a hint were just not on and it sounds like they aren't for you.

TBH in the end they had to be blunt and tell her or she would have come on every holiday from when she was 60 to 80 or until she was unable to travel.

Its very very difficult, I thought the Mums behaviour was selfish and thoughtless but my Dad who was her generation thought the families behaviour was dreadful and it wouldn't hurt them to take their old Mum away for a week each year. He had no understanding of the fact that they needed privacy and a week on their own with the kids to break up their busy and stressful lives.

How about every other year holidaying with her ? I know its not much of a solution

Hi

I do feel for you! It's a bit of a nightmare.....

We have 2 single friends who regularly come out to visit us for their holidays (we've been living in Cyprus for almost 7yrs).

Both of them don't have much funds in the line of spare cash and singles holidays (with the exception of a few destinations where tour operators offer no single supplements) are notoriously expensive.

One of them stays with us as she's happy to muck in and live the life as we do, which means not going out every night to eat or drink and loves our animals. She's happy to take the bus into town, do some shopping, pop into a favourite cafe for some lunch or go up to the local timeshare pool on her own.

The other one likes to be in the tourist area where she can sit by the pool or on her balcony with a seaview, pop to the shops, eat in the hotel (she books half board) and sees the same old "regulars" who are always in the hotel at the same time of year. We try to spend as much time with her as possible in between work and of course at weekends. She comes at Christmas so I can generally get a couple of days free - unless like this time it falls on a weekend. Cyprus goes back to work on the Monday!

My parents holiday in Malta every February and again, the same people frequent the same hotels time and time again each year. There are 2 single ladies who go to the Topaz hotel for 4wks whose husbands are both no longer with them. They meet at the airport and fly out together, share a room and generally have a great time! There are a lot of "singles" in the Malta hotels and they all seem to know each other. It's easy to get around by local bus too which is what a lot of them seem to do. Of an evening, a number of the hotels have entertainment so it means they are not sitting looking conspicuous or feel forced to sit with other people if they don't want to.

Does your mum have any good friends who go to the same place each year where she could tag along? That way she wouldn't be totally alone all the time and may get to meet up with some other singles and perhaps start to make a new life for herself that way.

Shell
Limassol, Cyprus

It sounds awful but sometimes it's a case of tough love. I know you love your mum but she isn't your's or your husband's responsibility. In the future, when she is older and maybe ailing, it's different, but she's only young.
Maybe as long as you are allowing her to tag along with you on holiday, she won't feel inclined to make an effort to try going it alone. I know you don't want to hurt her, but have you sat down and had a chat about how she needs to start fending for herself in the holiday department?
I lost my mum a couple of years ago, but my dad died 15 years ago. She never once asked to come away with us, nor did she accept when I asked her. You have your own lives was her answer. She either went away on her own, with a friend, or stayed at home.
Your mum is only a couple of years older than me and I wouldn't expect my son to take me away with him, neither would I want to go.
I'm sure once she tries holidaying on her own, or with a friend, she will love it. You do need time to yourselves. Good luck.

I really think you are going to have to bite the bullet and sit down and talk to your mother. You have been given a lot info about singles holidays and other possibilities but it seems to me a lot of the problem boils down to you and maybe your feelings of guilt about not taking your mother with you. You do mention in your OP that she offered to stay in one evening on your last holiday but you felt guilty about leaving her so you took her out with you.. You will have to get over your feelings of guilt. As much as you may love your mother your first responsibility is to your husband. I personally spent many of my holidays with my MIL in the UK after she was widowed so I can understand your husbands feelings which may turn eventually into resentment, so it's up to you. You say that without you, your mother wouldn't have a holiday and although most people like to go away every year there have been some years that I haven't had a holiday and I've survived. Even if the budget wouldn't take a seperate holiday for you and your mother maybe it could stretch to a weekend away somewhere for just the two of you as other posters have suggested.
I do understand how you feel and how difficult it may be to approach the subject with your mother but you have two choices and if you choose to do nothing the problem is only going to get worse.

See last year we went for two weeks and in our second week my aunt (her sister) flew out and joined us. Which was nice because we did get to go to dinner on our own a couple of times - but it's still not ideal.

Thanks for all your thoughts and suggestions. I guess we get through this year and then when we start booking things for next year we approach it with her.

Alternatively I could just book it and not tell her until it's too late. But that seems rather mean.

...or go somewhere she doesn't fancy going? That sounded a bit mean but I agree with the last few posts. You need to be tough about this or nothing will change. Your Mum is not an old lady. Unless you want her going with you every year till she's 90 you need to have an honest conversation about this.
Good luck.

Gooorooo wrote:

Alternatively I could just book it and not tell her until it's too late. But that seems rather mean.

You are right it is mean, you really have to sit down with her and have a good talk. You might be suprised at how well she takes it. She's your mum and she loves you, she might be upset at first but it will all blow over eventually.

You might be suprised at how well she takes it. She's your mum and she loves you, she might be upset at first but it will all blow over eventually.

And it might be even better than you might think because she might just be delighted to get your 'permission' to go ahead with a whole new way forward in her life!

Sometimes folk are very frightened by change, but when they are encouraged to try something new - ie to add something to their life (their holiday to a destination of their choice and activities that they can decided without having to consult all the other members on holiday with them) rather than have something taken away from them (the 'family' holiday with the usual predictable excursions or activities that they are maybe unable to take part in) - they might just shock you by seizing it with both hands!

Good luck. It's not an easy situation, but it might be worth having a frank but encouraging chat, AFTER having prepared your thoughts, ideas and ... objections carefully!

Hmmm Thinking cap on.....

I don't know what your family think about all inclusive holidays? I'm presuming when you go away your mam has a single room and your all not in a shared apartment?

The reason I ask about AI is that sometimes this type of holiday could be a good option for your mam. It's easy to make new friends when your AI as everyone tends to stay around the hotel, which in turn could mean your mam making friends with another female or group of females and therefore could spend some time with them on an evening or round the pool while you and hubby go off together?

Sorry to look at the other side of things, but I'm 53, and would be horrified if my kids thought that they had to take me on holidays with them If it was my mum, I would have to say, that as much as we'd love to have her along, hubby & I worked hard all year and we really needed some time as a couple. If we could afford an extra weekend during the year, then we'd love her to accompany us. Why not suggest a cruise to her, as most dining options mean tables for 8, 10 or even 12 people, and they usually put single travellers together.

Not knowing Gooroo's mam it's hard to say but I'm wondering if she too would prefer to be with friends of her own age?

I think she would *like* to go away with friends, but as they are all in couples it's not possible for her.

We've got to get her a holiday buddy Gooroo Am sure it would suit all.

As said, I often pop off for breaks with my friends 1 of whom is married but her hubby isn't keen on holidays so she either comes with me or another of our friends. Is this a possibility?

in fact a singles page may be good on here but would that then be like a cheesy chat room

There is a solo travel forum on TA Perhaps I shouldn't have said that

i never knew that