I have done that bus trip too phew!!!!!!

HI Lez,

Glad to see you haven't forgotten us, and this is the first monsoon report, keep it up I'm sure you have loads to tell us.

Thankyou.
Arl

hi lez great report we have done that trip across bombay in a taxi that felt like it was falling apart very scary anita

Well lets get back to Goa,

I met some interesting people one old fella with an tuk tuk for his transport and his 23 year old Thai wife sitting in the back like a princess, but the most interesting guy was from the old wrestling circuit, Dave, 'the man in the mask' he went under and he was a great guy to talk to with his old yarns about wrestling, and no I didn't tell him that I thought wrestling was fixed I'm not that daft.

There wasn't much open in Calangute in the way of restaurants just the odd ones but I wouldn't use them because of the flies, I know the fly population greatly increases during the monsoon but some where just over the top and made no attempt to reduce them like removing filthy table cloths, with the exception of the tree house, only their toilets are a no, no.

The taxies have mostly packed up for the monsoon, the Indians that where there don't tip and its not worth their time just hanging around for the odd ride, with the exception of my driver who stayed on just to take me to the airport, so I gave him a big tip.

So my days where mostly spent looking at houses, flats, I went to open a bank account but when I went back with my papers they had closed, walking on the beach, having a few beers and lunch an afternoon kip watching football and going too mollies at night, Les would usually run me home because I was bad on my feet, ok I couldn't navigate on my own, perfect.

When I was leaving the Casa de Goa the reception phoned me to say my taxi was waiting, I had paid my bill the night before so I went to give my keys in, no taxi, when I asked he told me the driver had phoned, thinking nothing of it until the room boy came running back saying I had had 2 bottles of water and they wanted 60 rupees payment, so I paid with a Rs100 note, no change, I asked the driver if he indeed had phoned, no he told me so I went right back in and demanded my 40 rupee change and got it, I was peeved because I did tip well for room service, I told the reception that when I come back I wont tip anyone and I will tell them why, that will give the little git something to think about.

Thanks Lezlie for a great report!! It's made me feel really homesick and wishing I was back in Goa. Glad to hear that Leslie is doing well in monsoon, he's a great guy (did he mention if he managed to get over to the UK & Ireland recently)?? Marshall the guy with the tuk tuk is a real character as you say and he's got a weird and whacky sense of humour!!, must be coming up to his first wedding anniversary soon, glad he and "the princess" are still going strong!!
Thanks again,
GFF xx

Hi Goldenflipflop, les is thinking of going to Thailand or Indonesia or both he wasn't sure.

He did tell me he wasn't impressed with the prices in the UK and Ireland, he spent £3000, in 3 weeks and he bought 14 B&H for £5 out of a machine and paid £200 for a meal so I don't think he's in much of a hurry to come back.

lez

Nice report. ( especially good when it is so quiet here!)

Love your report Lezlie I can understand Leslie at mollys re/.the price of things in the UK and Ireland ...here in Ireland its 5 euros a pint in some bars I can live with 70 rupees for kingfisher anyday..

Another little ditty has just surfaced in my befuddled brain.

I was watching some kids playing in the pool, the usual splashing and doggy paddle, when a girl of about 14 with he knee length swimming suit swam the length of the pool underwater, I was impressed because her arms and legs where co-ordinated and a strong swim, both ways, after taking a breath of air, then I realised she could only swim underwater she swam every stroke underwater,

My hopes of seeing an Indian swim where dashed on the rocks.

I did consider talking to her father and offering to teach her to swim on top of the water but decided not to.

Hi les and welcome back it was great reading your reports and it makes Goa seem a little bit closer. Sounds like you had a good time as well. Keep posting it makes great reading.

As you all know the Indians are mostly a friendly lot, so one day at the bar in the Case de Goa having my pre lunch aperitif, (kings), a girl from Delhi started talking to me, the usual where are you from? Where's your wife, how much money do you earn. The usual so I asked her how long she has been married and where her husband was, it turned out they where on their honeymoon so I asked if her husband was resting, that went right over her head but not Eugene the barman, he dropped my bottle of Kings.

My flight home was much of a muchness, the little television was free and so was the food and drink no crying kids and very good flight attendants, landed on time much to the delight of the pilot.

Then came the culture shock, I had to get from terminal 3 to terminal 1, I was quit tired because I cant sleep on aircraft, there was no other way but to walk, I now know how a rat feels in a warren and I wondered how Londoners spend their life underground. Then the shoe shin with 4 chairs, very good I thought I have never seen them in the UK until I looked up and noticed his price £4 quid to get your shoes polished *$"$ 4 that's Rs320 in our money. Or a days drinking at a shack.

I found BMI checkin queue and waited my turn only to be told I had to go to a machine and punch numbers to get my boarding pass, numbers I couldn't see because my eyes where shot,, any how I found a chap that helped me see, went back to the queue pretty naffed off. Revenge was mine.

A lady had left a small suitcase at the checkin her hand luggage so one of the girls at the checkin put it behind the counter, so after seeing my case disappear I asked the girl if she was updated on security procedure, she knew quite well what I was on about and had failed to call security and had potently left people in danger, as I said revenge was mine, perhaps she wont be so officious with the next tired customer.

This is a hoot --- keep 'em coming Les.

Great report Lez i love reading them, you sound like a funny man So when's your Third trip happening.
crystal xx

Having spent several nights in Molly Malone's well most of them, I became a mentor to Ali, Leslie's assistant manager; he is a bright lad of about 24 and too good looking by far and still a virgin.

He hasn't worked in the service industry before he worked nights at some factory, after assuring him being a virgin was a good thing and nothing to be ashamed of, he hadn't even had a girl friend, all the time thinking he won't be a virgin for long once the season starts, as I said he is a hansom lad 6ft tall and wide of shoulder.

As with most Indians he wanted to know all there was to know about the UK, wages, food, but mainly girls, he had heard how easy they where and you didn't have to marry them if you had sex,
I did my best explaining that women have equal rights in Europe leaving the ladette syndrome out, he will find out soon enough and most people don't expect to marry a virgin, this he just could not comprehend the vacant look on his face told all about his upbringing.

It wasn't all one way he told me in detail about the Hindu caste system, food and religion, how his family lived, he gave his wages over to his father and his dad gave him money for petrol and bought his cloths, paid off the loan for his 250CC Royal Enfield, he was happy with the situation after all he had never gone bare footed had clothes and had always had food what more did he need?

Just one last ditty about molly's, Ali and I had discussed tipping and we agreed that 10% was a good tip, so when I was tired because of honey bee overdose, all the staff would not take more than 10% tips no matter how much I insisted.

Well that's it I had a good two weeks, nearly completed my to-do list the only thing was.

When I arrived home my back door had been smashed in, it is made of steel and aluminium with re-enforced glass double locked and bolted. There was nothing missing that I could see so I went to bed. Next day I went to my neighbours expecting them to tell me that the police had nabbed someone for burglary; no it was the police that had broken the door down.

The old biddy next door had called the police telling them that she hadn't seen me and was worried about me, so the police used a battering ram to smash my door down causing about £800 worth of damage completely wrecking the door and frame their excuse was under section 17 of the entry act, "fearing for my safety" meaning that I have to pay for the damage. I had been gone for 9 days what did the thick think I was doing starving myself to death.

oh Les! What a nosey old bat! I'd make her pay for the door, imagine not being able to go on holiday without someone thinking you've kicked the bucket! I suspose the heart was in the right place though!

Love your reports

Take care
Arl

When I came back from Goa I had, still have the mother of all man colds, I wont go into details but I have gone through 3 boxes of tissues and only been the pub once, eaten one half a meal 6 peaches and a banana,

Now if it been the chaps from the pub or the Indian take away phoning the bizzies (police) I would have understood.

I had greatly underestimated the cost of the damage done by the police, the door and frame plus the kitchen window are beyond repair and will cost £1500 at mate's rates, so I'm off to see a solicitor today and get the Chief copper to fix it.

As for returning to Goa, I had planned for on or about the 1st of August, my daughter Helen said she would look after things for me if I still want to go, as I said I'm seeing a solicitor today.

One of the problems I have is something to do while in Goa, I have Electro/Mechanical skills but so do many Goans and work for a lot less than me, I'm also a qualified Hypnotherapist with 11 years experience in clinical Hypnosis, I was thinking of doing "past life regression" in bars/hotels for beer money or dinner just a little light entertainment nothing too serious.

Any suggestions?

Lez

hypnosis lez great idea. I'd love to be hypnotised to make me think I'm in Goa all the time No I'll retract that statement can you imagine walking in to town in a bikini and sarong! I'd probably do something daft and jump in the fountain thinking it was the sea

If you came into a shack I was in when I was there I'd like to be regressed to find out who I was in a previous.

I wouldn't charge too much though as although us toruist would pay it (because we are daft) really you only need enough to live on out there I think I would pay 250 rps (that's what I was charged for a 20 minute back massage)

Hey! on those costs les, you would only need to do 2 customers a day to live like a king.

hope this helps.
A

Hi Les I'd definitely have a go at the regression thing but I think you'll probably have the "anti Benidorm mob" on your back if you tried to set up such a thing in Goa.

How about hypnosis to help people stop smoking etc...I'm sure people would give that a whirl.

GFF xx

I was thinking of just a bit of fun on slow evenings. not making a living out of it,

les