Breakfast at the Royal Star
It is the second day of senora A and senora B's annual subsidised holiday to Lloret with 200+ other Spanish pensioners. They have settled in well and are getting ready for breakfast which is between 08.00 and 09.45.
Time 06.30
A -come on B time to get ready. We only have an hour. Doesn't the chair make a funny noise when you move it on these marble floors. Listen, can you hear it screeching.
B - yes. Listen, the chair at the side of my bed does the same, but I don't think it makes as loud a noise as yours does. See, if I move it quickly it doesn't sound very loud, but when I move it slowly like this it seems much louder.
Time 07.30
A - come on then, we better move. Make sure you give that big heavy door a good pull to make sure its shut. BANG! Are you sure it's shut properly? Give it another try just to be sure.
B - BANG! Yes that seems to be OK now. Doesn't it sound loud in this corridor. I am just going to knock on C's door to make sure she's up.
I don't think she can hear what we are saying to her, you had better speak up so she will hear us through that big heavy door. While you "talk" to her I'll go and make sure D is awake. KNOCK, KNOCK, SHOUT, KNOCK, SHOUT, KNOCK.
Time 07.35
A - just as well we were early today , look at how many of our friends are here now. If we had been a minute later we would have been back there beside senora E. HELLO E, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT.
General chatter follows, increasing in volume until we approach the magic hour.
Time 07.59
A - I think they are going to open the doors now , are you ready.
Time 08.00
Restaurant Manager opens door, and smartly steps aside, just managing to avoid being flattened by A and B, who are now on a mission.
Senora A heads straight for the bread and toasters, and narrowly pips F and G to the first toaster and gets her slice of bread in. F makes it to the second toaster and gets her first slice of bread in and G glowers at them both, but still they all carry on talking to each other. Meanwhile, B has gone to the other areas of the buffet and got some croissants and cutlery and found a table.
Back at the toaster A is now on slice 6 and is taking great delight in the fact that her toaster is producing toast much quicker than F's, although they are both just putting 1 slice in at a time-to make sure it's done properly, she makes sure all and sundry, including those at the back of the queue know that her toaster is the one to use. Eventually, after she has toasted the equivalent of a loaf of bread she heads off to join B.
A- look at all these Brits queuing up to get coffee and juice, don't they know that they are in our country and should at least wait until we've had our breakfast before the come in and monopolise the coffee machine and the buffet. Do you want juice. I'll get it.
She proceeds to the machine and getting 2 coffee cups goes straight to the juice machine and gets the cups ready. B DO YOU WANT ORANGE OR PINEAPPLE?
B- ORANGE.
Back at the table they decide that they will have a boiled egg, so A goes up to the buffet and makes her way to the eggs, muttering to herself about the Brits being in the way, and pushing in picks up the eggs. DO YOU NEED ANY BUTTER? ANYTHING ELSE WHILE I'M HERE. HELLO J, HAVE YOU SEEN K YET.
Back at the table, B decides that she will get some bacon, so up she goes and getting a plate this time proceeds straight to the bacon. DO YOU WANT ANY BACON ,A? HELLO M, HAVE YOU SEEN Q YET. LOOK AT THESE BRITS TRYING TO PUSH PAST ME. AREN'T THEY IGNORANT. She then works her way backwards down the buffet to the cold meat and again asks A if she wants any.
During the meal the level of conversation increases as A talks to B, B TALKS TO C, F TALKS TO G,K,Q AND R(who are all at different tables).
Time 08.30
A and B are ready to leave the restaurant to get ready for their trip out, so with a GOODBYE to everyone (a table at a time) they depart, leaving behind ¾ of a loaf of toasted bread, 2 croissants, some cold meat, some of it on plates but most on the tablecloth.
Time 08.40
After protracted goodbyes to each other the rest of the senoras(and the occasional senor) leave the restaurant and a kind of hush falls over the restaurant. The Brits left there give a long sigh and battle begins in earnest to get to the buffet/coffee machines before the Germans and Dutch.