Icmeler will tick all your boxes with the exeption of the sandy beach as it's more shingle, Most hotels have pools, Self catering is advised also as it has hundreds of Bar/Restauraunts, Use this site to review the hotels yourself and take onboard what the visitors have said regarding the hotel folow the link below if it doesent work copy and paste it into a new browser.
http://www.holidaytruths.co.uk/reviews/turkey/

Olu Deniz is very nice and seems to attract families with children the same age as yours. It has a large deep beach to the front of the resort which like most in Turkey is a mixture of sand and shingle, however it has a lagoon which has sandy beaches around it.

Some of these lagoon beaches are private, they will send a free minibus to you hotel in return for you hiring sunbeds, parasols & buying your drinks & snacks from their beach bar. The minibus will take you back later in the day.

It is mainly B&B or AI though. If you wish to eat out there are plenty of nice resturants within walking distance of the hotels. Can't personaly recommend a B&B as I went AI to the Belcekic Beach Club which is a brilliant hotel.

The most popular B&B seems to be the Karbel Hotel. I looked round this in case I went back on B&B and it had a large pool (there is a Karbel Beach and Karbel Sun both of which are smaller and have smaller pools). It gets good reports but you would need to read them for yourself to make sure it suits. It is also brilliantly located for all the bars, restaurants and little shops.

There is loads of info on Olu Deniz on HT about trips etc. You may need to do a few searches. Good Luck, Doe

Bitez, near Bodrum is very nice, it is a lovely family resort. The beach isn't completely sandy but is very pleasant and there are lots of restaurants and a few bars all along the beach front. The accomodation is mainly small hotels and apartments, most of which have a pool. Bodrum is close enough for a day or night out and there are loads of lovely places to eat and drink there plus lots to see and plenty of shops.

I would definitely recommend going self catering as you will be able to find lots of differnt places to eat then.

Kedi

Thanks for all your help.
We have managed to book up to go to Side, £1736.00 for all of us. It is selfcatering but we prefer this anyway.
Cheers

i agree with icmeler, the only thing is its a shingle beach and not a sandy beach but still very nice.

sarah