Turkey Discussion Forum

Discussions regarding holidays in Turkey.
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Do what Turkish women do.... no eye contact and completely ignore them. They will desperately say something to get you attention but be strong! If they persist then just say go away or i'll call the police...it shouldn't get that far though. If you get hassle from restaurant personnel then just tell them that you will call the Zabita, they would close the restaurant down. REMEMBER.... if enough people do this they will eventually get the message, playing along with their stupid antics only makes things worse for others.
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Chelsea Boy is spot on. In addition don't get hopelessly drunk and do wear appropriate clothing. By that I mean keep the beach wear to the beach. Wearing a skimpy bikini top and shorts around town is drawing attention to yourself. Many of these lads come from villages where women dress conservatively and they see it as a come on.
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Just completely ignore them, don't enter into any eye contact or any dialogue. You should probably be OK anyway as you sound like a normal respectable couple. They often only approach single women, not necessarily younger ones often middle aged ones who look lonely and are on their own, or with disinterested looking husbands, as they are after a visa, or money for 'medical treatment' for their elderly parents who are dying etc etc. I don't think you should let the worry of this spoil your holiday. Unfortunately the Turkish Love Rats forum is no longer, although if you put those three words into google it will give you a feel for the problem. If you had read the forum it would have probably put your mind at rest in a weird kind of way, as it would have shown that a lot of the attention was targeted at specific sorts of women, a category I am sure your partner will not fall into.
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Thank you everyone. The advice seems really helpful to basically ignore it as the Turkish women do and not provoke them with dress or eye contact. Much appreciated
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I ma married to a Turkish man and I lived in turkey for a few years so I have become quite an expert at avoiding unwanted attention!!

If you are together as a couple most men wont come up to your wife but if anyone says anything then as Chelsea Boy says, do as the Turkish women do and ignore any remarks. If someone persists then you are right in thinking that if you say "how would you like it if someone spoke to your wife/girlfriend or sister like that?" they will get the point.

Most Turkish men are very friendly and they don't normally hassle a woman with a man unless the woman is acting in a way to encourage this (I have seen that happen often enough though)
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Thank you so much, that is really helpful to hear it from a Turkish lady
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I'm not Turkish White Rabbit, I'm English and my husband is Turkish. I lived in Turkey though and had Turkish friends out there.
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i have to agree with kedi,ignoring them usually works just fine lol and if your together there is less chance of anything too, only if she is by herself they might try to chat to her! usually a polite no thanks or whatever works fine! like kedi, ive lived there before, i was there last season staying with my hubby and he knows what turkish men are like cos he was one of them in his younger days :rofl he was like dont be polite and say hi or whatever-just ignore and walk on lol! he also told me to watch what i wore i.e. if wearing white clothing for example lol as they would be looking too :duh lol! you kinda know all this dont you but we all like a bit of banter on hol and normal chatting not neccessariyl flirting eh but hubby is like no chance cos they will get ideas!!! i have many turkish friends who are merely being friendly, when i explained about their behaviour sometimes they were like oh, we were just being friendly not trying to flirt or harrass lol, of course you will get ones who do only want to do that lol! im sure you will find people you will like and get on well with and who will become your friends, theyr not all bad ones, i mean thats 2 of us replied to you who are married to turks :D happy hols!x
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Thanks Aam and Kedi... so it is zero tolerance, and 'NO THANKS'. and move on.

As you say there will be friendly people who it is fine to speak some words with, I guess it is see how it goes and if some go too far , tell them to 'go away'. We are freindly people so it doesnt come naturally to not smile or speak to anyone...but maybe we will have to be a bit more like that to avoid collision course with some of them.

I am sure now we will have a great time.

Thanks all
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Honestly you really wont have to be like that, as long as you are together you can be friendly, chat and smile. They aren't that bad. You will probably have no reason to tell anyone to go away at all. We are just telling worst case scenarios just in case.
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Exactly I am sure you are right. At least we know a bit more now how to manage it should it happen
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yes you will be fine and have a fab hol!i remember my family going in 2004 n me going oh i dont know why your going there blha blah :rofl and when they came back i was like hmmm!!!!then they offered to pay for me to go following year so free hol how could i refuse???!!!and i loved it!people so friendly and helpful, theyd give you their last whatever lol! i made several turkish friends that year and am still in touch with them, they'll help me out no problem no matter what it is compared to here, when people tend to do you a favour they want summat in return....or maybe thats just my dads side of the family ;) lol
the people are very hospitable and if they can help you they will, they want you to enjoy your holiday and to come back again! there doesnt always need to be a hidden agenda!my hubby loves meeting new people and its a chance for him to practice and reinforce his english lol and he keeps in touch with them and they come back to see him etc which is nice.... :) as kedi says we are giving worst scenarios, prob you will find its fine, esp since you are together, prob just be a bit of banter and winding u up that goes on but thats all really!x
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thank you aam...lovely to read your messages and how friendly they have been to you.

Much appreciate you taking time to write to me andf being so honest

x
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In all of the times that i have visited Turkey, i have had 1 bad experience with a man...i say bad but it was more uncomfortable to be honest and certainly never put me off going back.
I was in a shop with my hubby and sons and had taken a seat while i was waiting for the kids to be finish looking. The owner of the shop came over to talk, which i was fine with, we had a few mins of conversation then he decided he would put his hand between my knees and just left it there!! i had a dress on so it made me feel really uncomfortable to say the least. Im usually a very polite person but i told him to remove his hand or i would slap his face for him.....my hubby heard what id said and came over but i got him out of the shop before he could react when i told him. The man was roughly my age and i think he was just pushing his luck as i certainly dont think that he would treat a turkish woman in that way.
Ive had no more problems with anyone though, i walk around the resort by myself and i have male Turkish friends who have never been flirty or feely with me...to be honest i find you get more creeps trying to chat you up on a night out here rather than in Turkey.
If you feel that someone is coming on too strong then tell them so and also as Chelsea boy said, mention Zabita to them and watch their attitude change. In general most Turkish men are fine and friendly towards you and im sure you will have a fab holiday there.
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Take some children with you!!

I wen last year with my two and was expecting the worst having been previously with my blonde daughter - but I got none of it.
In fact - I got quite the reverse. In resteraunts I had to seat myself because we were ignored. Sometimes took forever to be served. In shops there was none of the pushy sell - in fact I had to chase round after them to be served.

Was nice in the beginning but after I while it raised my hackles as I felt they were all judging me - then I settled down and was thankfull I didnt have to engage in any unecessary chat or try cover my blushes in front of he kids.

It worked for me!!
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your welcome white rabbit,no problem! anything else ask away on here or pm me and ill be happy to help lol!happy holidays, can i come in your suitcase pleaseeeeeeeeee ;) :rofl x
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To be honest I found Turkey no worse than any other country for being harrassed. Some women will be harassed more than others. It depends who you are with, how you are acting and how the women looks. Im sure Turkish men have standards too! So yeah, pretty much like any other country or your local nightclub on a saturday night.
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aam my suitcase is full unfortunately!!

Greenshoes, yes I am sure all will be fine as you say if one is sensible and discerning. You have all been very helpful.

Thank you all
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unwanted male attention is fine, but those pesky resturant owners harrassing you............well............... :sun2

have a nice holiday!
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