I think it's so sad that youngsters these days don't get to do so many things that my age group did as youngsters. Age 14 I'd cycle to friends who lived 4 miles away on a Saturday. When I was on holiday, I'd go and make friends with other kids. That's just 2 things. What would I do if I was going to somewhere like the OC in Praia de Luz. I'd ask not to have a ground floor apartment. Also I'd keep doors of all bedrooms ajar (to stop them shutting in night I'd take plastic door wedges). Someone on here had a 4 year old daughter and was going to Algarve not long after Madeleine was abducted and wanted ideas as to how to stop anyone taking her in shops. Suggestions included wrist strap or take pushchair.

Come to think of it, when hubby and I have kids most holidays will probably be going over to England to see my family. That's unless I can get full time job, hubby can only work part time.

When I was younger, I needed more sleep than most other kids. On holidays bedtime wasn't much later than usual, maybe an hour 2 at the most unless we were going somewhere special for the evening. We'd have a lie in next morning. I wasn't into discos or anything like that so evenings tended to be spent in tent or caravan playing games of cards with my parents or sometimes out for meal. I tended to make friends with kids a couple of years younger than me and of course they had to be 'in' before me.

we have a 7 yr old daughter and we do pretty much like everyone else, go out for a meal and take our time, a walk and a drink in a bar on the way home, by which time it could easy be 11 o'clock.
we take our lead from her really, if we are in a bar and she's made friends, we are happy to stay a little later, but obvously not till the early hours ! Then home and a little sit on the balcony after putting her to bed.
when you have kids with you, it tends to be an early rise the next morning and a jam packed day, so we're all quite tired by the evening anyway.
I certainly wouldn't insist she goes to bed at the same time as home as some do, after all its part of her holiday to 'get to stay up late' !
I also have seen mums and dads with babies and toddlers in buggies steaming drunk and staggering, which I hate to see.

our little girl is 3 now, for the last few holidays we have always be up early, breakfast is a novelty as we have been all inlusive and she likes to pick out her items-then we head to the beach and play there for a couple of hours, then it's lunchtime and then we head out for the afternoon on "an adventure!" be it for a walk, a bus ride, train or a little boat trip, we have a little picnic of local fruit bought by the roadside and head back to the hotel for about 4ish, where we put Madagascar on dvd -again!! and she may nod off.
by evening 6ish we head off for dinner and then to mini disco and a walk round the grounds, back to the room about 9ish and then hubby and i have a game of cards, watch a dvd and chill out
before i met my hubby and hadhe little one i was an all day sunbather-holidays are so different when you have kids, but to be honest i wouldn't go back to those days! we get to see the area we travel to and even though we go all inclusive we still go out on a day or my hubby would be climbing the walls!

Can I ask please if any parents have or would use a babysitting service in resort?

How would you feel about leaving your children with a stranger even if they had qualifications and a police check?

Would it make a difference if this service was offered free of charge?

Hi Lyn

I did use a nanny on the holiday I mentioned in this thread to the Ocean Club in Praia de Luz. The OC employed her to help in their kids club as they use all English speaking nannies (or they did then) although her main job was a nanny to an English family living over there. She was a lovely girl from Kent & had the NNEB qualification, I watched her with my kids and they loved her I could tell, she did pasta painting play dough & other stuff kids like.

There was a posh restaurant the Dolphin (?) that it wasn't correct to take young kids to & we employed her a couple of times so we could eat there. This service was not offered free of charge, you paid by the hour, but she was excellent and my view in life is you generally get what you pay for.

When the tradegy with Maddie happened it made me think about this girl and wonder if she still worked there, although I think she was fed up with the Ex-pats she was working for and may have come home.

Doe

In answer to silver pixie, no, I don't do it at home so deffo wouldn't abroad. A holiday to me is for the family, we don't go away so we can have a meal out on our own of an evening, we can do that at home, plenty family nearbye to mind him, if a restaurant wasn't child friendly, we wouldn't go in, end of. IMO, if you want to go out alone for meals, activities, don't take the kids on holiday!

CazzMicknTom wrote:

if a restaurant wasn't child friendly, we wouldn't go in, end of. IMO, if you want to go out alone for meals, activities, don't take the kids on holiday!

In the nearly 16 years we have been parents DH and I have probably had a maximum of 5 meals out together in the UK one every 3.2 years I make that, some of us have no family to leave our children with.
I personally dont feel we are bad parents as you are implying for having left my kids with a qualified nanny for 3 hours on two occassions, donkeys years ago.

Each to their own I suppose. Relatives are know to abuse kids as well, infact it's statistically known that abuse is more often from relatives and close friends than strangers.

Have never used nor ever thought about using a babysitting service but would not condemn anyone who did decide to use these services. Our holidays are for quality time as a family and we do everything as a family because at home both me and my husband work long hours and work hard so its lovely to relax together as a family. We are not in the habit of going out much when at home and when we do its usually with the children. I do use the kids clubs if the bairns want to go to them while on holiday. The way I see it is these people are in the majority of cases well vetted, well trained and well supervised. There are times when you do have to trust people you don't know well with your precious children, the monsters, fortunately, are in the minority.

Hi Liz, I guess as you say everybody is different. My kids have probably been abroad about 30 times, but never been in a kids club. I was disappointed at first not because I wanted to 'get rid of them' as has been implied but I thought it would be a nice way for them to make friends at the begining of the fortnight who they might later wish to play with round the pool. However they always wanted to be with us, which is fair enough and I was happy with this as well. Never under any circumatances would I have left them in an apartment or an hotel without us day or night.

Lyn, I am curious as to why you are asking, are you thinking of setting up some kind of business in this field ?

Doe

Lyn, I am curious as to why you are asking, are you thinking of setting up some kind of business in this field ?

Not a business no. My reason for asking was that I love being with children, had five of my own and every holiday I go on I seem to be the one in the pool or on the beach playing with strangers children. I usually get to meet the parents eventually and have, on occasions offered to babysit of an evening to enable them to have some time alone. I just wondered if I had a police check and with a passport to prove my identity if more would take me up on my offer. I might as well be sitting reading a book doing something to help someone as doing it in my room. I do miss my grandchildren something rotten when I go away.

I think that is a lovely thought Lyn. But unfortunately in the world we live in today people maybe unlikely to trust this to others they dont really know. It makes me really sad to say that.

I wish you had been around when mine were little, although as I said I very rarely left them. The time in P de Luz was the only time I have used a babysitter on holiday.

You never know though if you are in a large resort and chum up with some young families as the week goes on and they get to know you they may be very happy for you to do this. I'm not sure if having a CRB check would help or hinder, suspicious types might thing why is this person walking about with her CRB check on her in the Caribean or wherever?

Doe

Oh Doe I hope you didn't think I was implying you wanted to get rid of your children. It never even entered my head! When my children were younger they wouldn't go to the kids clubs either and would rather stay with us round the pool and they always made friends with the other kids. As they got older they went through a stage of going, periodically, to the kids clubs but on our last holiday they didn't bother with them so I guess they have out grown them now This is fine though, I am happy whatever the bairns decide to do as long as they are happy.

Liz

I have a really horrid memory of the one and only time my eldest 2 boys ever went to a kids club on holiday.

It was the first time we had taken them "abroad" since babies . My eldest son was about 7/8 and middle son about 5/6 . I just assumed they would enjoy it so on the first morning despite their protests of "we want to play in the pool" I took them along . At 12 oclock I went to collect them only to be confronted by all the kiddies marching out in a line singing ,with my eldest son who was already the oldest in that age group , and who at 7/8 was the height of a 12 year old having to lead them all ,marching in a ridiculous sun hat .the look on his face said it all . Needless to say both of them hated every minute of the indoor colouring session and declared they would not be returning EVER.

lyn

i wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her with someone she did'nt know, i'm sure she would be fine but i wouldn't enjoy my time off for worrying about her-neurotic mum i know!
maybe when she is a little older, then they can tell you if something was not right

hi everyone..i havnt been on this thread before but just been reading through all the posts...i just wanted to say that i am kind of "on the fence" with this. i am mum to a "nearly 5" boy oscar.we go to rhodes in august for 2 weeks and get married whist we are there. i personally wouldnt leave my son with anyone at home or abroad that i didnt know,now...i know that these clubs have qualified carers for people who wish to do so and i am not saying it is wrong cos i think everyones ideal holoday are different. i think they are a good idea for people who wish to take a breather...but ...just not for me.i like to spend as much time as possible with our son as we work full time at home so for me its all about him...his holiday too and as many of you have said...to sit out of an evening with a nice bottle or a cold beer relxing is great...a nice way to wind down.....what i do "disagree" with is seeing people staggering home at 2am with children in tow..what fun is that for them!!!...heres to the summer!!!

my oldest 2 dont come with us now so we only have ellie whos 8, i would never leave her alone in a hotel or apt , so we take her with us to restaurants bars etc and stay out as long as shes happy soon as she had enough or tired we either make a bed by pushing to armchairs together until we have finished drinks etc or take her back to our rooms, we dont like to stay out late ourselves anyway so we are usually back around 11-12 ish i would never drag her round clubs ,discos etc or get drunk infront of her, as long as shes happy then it makes a good holiday for us, we are lucky that shes very well behaved and a happy little girl although shes shy so tends to want to be with us rather than join in with childrens clubs etc but we do try to help her find a friend to help occupy her some evenings. if we go back to our room early cos ellies tired we sit and play cards, ok, backgammon etc, or hubby sometimes stays out longer and i go back with her and read, the sea air usually tires me out more on holiday

Ever since we have had our kids Karen, I don't think we have returned to the room later than midnight often more likely 10.30pm or 11pm when they were tiny (just boring I guess). We weren't really late night people before we had them either, so the idea of staggering back to a room at 2pm in the morning with a couple of little kids is something totally alien to me.

I have to say though I have never really seen this in the types of places that I go to although I suppose I might have been asleep. I get the impression that the accommodations I have stayed in this isn't really happening much, surely I would have kept being woken up as I am a very light sleeper. From what I can see everybody has to be up at daft o'clock to get a sunbed anyway, so what good is 5 hours sleep lol

midnight would be the latest for us as well . Infact I would prefer 10.30 myself but then Im not a drinker and in truth I just get bored plus Imalways up for the sunbed run 6.30-7am. hubby does like a few beers though so I have to hang on and be patient but usually youngest son Is tired and wants to go to bed although he is now coming up to 12 and I have a feeling that is about to change a little .
up until last summer I was still very much a control freak as far as the older 2 were concerned (15 and 17)and much to their distress used to drag them in when we went to bed ,but over the last year ive had to learn to relax a bit and allow them to come in later . I even manage to go to sleep now and trust them not to be too late .

lyn

i agree lyn im not much of a drinker 1 is enough for me lol, god i sound boring 1 drink early to bed etc . some1 i know drags her daughter out till all hours , shes a single mam and wants as much fun as she can but when it involves a tired child in tow i think its unfair and i really disagree with the way she behaves but everyone to their own i suppose , if you take kids on holiday then surely they should be your main priority, as long as kids are happy on holiday then it makes easy and great holiday for the adults