I was in Bitez for 1 week and got a fair few trips done in a relatively short space of time. With the exception of one trip they all turned out to be surpisingly good value

1. TURKISH BATH (10€ or £8 transfers included)

Everyone should do this. I went with 2 other girls. The hotel was fabulous. We go in take sauna and we are in our bikinis.
Then we go into the bath place. I had presumed it would be women only, seeing as its a majority Muslim country.
Suddenly 2 Turkish guys come through the door. They were wearing tiny dresses that I was afraid would fall off and reveal way too much. They told all us girls to lie face down. I did just that. Then one of them points to me come here, and tells me to lie down. LOL I do what I am told. He gave me the massage which was nice but I felt I was about to burst out laughing. Especially when he put his face down next to mine whilst I was struggling to control fits of laughter.
As my friends were watching, he made me lie face down and snapped open my bikini so he could massage my back.
The fits of laughter from the girls I was hearing. Then when he was finished he put it back on with only one hand. He obviously had lots of practise in that department. hahhaha. There were 2 guys who truly love their jobs. It was a great experience.

2. MOONLIGHT CRUISE (10€ meal included, boat trip and transfers)
This trip easily had to be the best value. We were taken to a gorgeous part of the coast, docked and socialised with other holiday makers whilst having a few drinks. The music they were playing was a bit cheesy but its all part of the fun.
The food was grand, not gormet but for 10€ you can t really complain. There was certainly enough of it. Meat, bread, pasta and salad.
Then we sailed to Bodrum and saw the castle at night. It made for lovely pictures. Great night out and I d highly recommend it!

3. EPHASUS (45€ (includes lunch, transfers, entrance to Epesus) Though Virgin Marys house is 6 lira extra

This trip was brilliant. Up at 6AM First we went to a jewellry factory, wasn t really interested though they had some nice stuff. Then we saw Ephasus.It was brilliant though the heat was unbearable. We had luch which was ok. Then we went to a pottery place and then we saw the Virgin marys house. Its really nice and peaceful even if you are not religious its lovely to see and feel the peace and quiet.
Then we were back for 8. I was exhausted. Full day but well worth it!

4.KOS €25 (Transfers and boat fare included)
This was an interesting trip. Kos takes only about 1 hour to get to. Though its a bit of a pain having to queue and get your stamp to get on the boat.
Kos is a very pretty little Island. We enjoyed strolling around the shops and the marina.
Duty free available as well so another plus for this trip.
Well worth it! Again takes the full day.

5. DREAMGIRLS 27€ (show, dinner and 1 local drink included) No transfers inc

This was easily the most dissapointing excursion I have been on. I don t usually go for the night out thing whilst on holidays. as I find them tacky and bad value for money.
Even when the Irish rep was describing it she was kind of making a face. I knew the type of humour wouldn t be my cup of tea. My friends wanted to go so I said yeah ill give it a try before I knock it!

We arrived at 8 and we offered 1 free local drink.
We had dinner, there was no starters or desert, a tiny amount of bread came with it. The "dinner" consisted of 2 small bits of chicken and few french fries. I don t eat big meals but these were really skimpy portions. You wouldn t want to have been starving.

The entertainers seemed to want to chew up alot of time before the show started. They showed a 10 minute clip of various films songs and dances. By this stage we had been there 2 hours. We saw some god awful guy bellydancing sexily around the stage before the act began.

The show basicly consisted of drag queens miming to songs like Rehab, hairspray, etc. They did one sketch where they impersonated Little Britain and that was kind of funny but very little effort on their part.

They spoke with the audience very little. They made the usual predictable jokes about Scotland, Wales and England. However when they came to our table and heard we were from Dublin they were at a bit of a loss of how to make fun of us (they obviously werent familiar with Dublin)

They had silly gags like fake boobs, or glasses that sprayed out water. I wasn t expecting much but this???

It really wasnt my cup of tea. I don t think the Turkish, German or Irish tables were really feeling the humour. I actually can t understand why German or Turkish people were there. You really would want to be a native English speaker and a good knowledge of English TV to understand some of the puns. I m a native speaker who understood and got everything and even then, it wasnt funny for me.

It wasnt even that it was English humour, I just felt it was REALLY silly and half attempted.
Not the best value for money. I don t really believe this was a hit show in England.Maybe there is a reason they moved to Turkey. Then again some people had tears of laughter rolling down their cheeks so I dunno.

I just wouldn t recommend it. If you go eat something beforehand as I got sooo tipsy that night (may have had something to do with free drinks given to us afterwards)

One good thing though was that the managment spotted me and my friends and invited us to stay back for drinks when the show was over. We got 2 rounds and it was a better laugh with them after all.

P.S. Because I paid in Euro one of the waiters gave me back far less change than I was owed. So just be careful if you are paying for drinks in sterling or euro.