i booked a late deal to greece with my boyfriend and we paid only an extra 60 pounds for all inclusive. when we arrived in the room it was very basic, however, the shower was very small and every day we showered in cold water. the food was the pits, the only thing we could stomach was the bread and chips, which got very boring. after the first evening meal we decided that we would eat out every night. location was fine for what we wanted, bars and restaurants were pleasant - corfu and ipsos were nice. we have never stayed in a hotel with such ignorant and rude staff particularly the management and reception staff. they would not listen to any complaints and would do nothing to help, service was terrible. entertainment was non existant, there was the occasional live singer - very poor. we would not visit or recommend this hotel to my worst enemy we are very dissappointed and strongly recommend anyone reading this to stay well clear of this awful hotel.

all inclusive guest will drink from plastic cups the drinks you ask for are the cheapest on the island ie local plonk ugh ,all spirits are brands i have not heard of . there is a nice circular bar by the pool but its not for your use , you will be served from a serving hatch on the other side of the pool , to sit at the bar you must pay for your drinks .
outside cleanliness good , inside apartments bathrooms need updating , towels/sheets changed twice a week if you are lucky .
the food is passable . hotel location
poor as you have to walk up a steep road for approx 200 mtrs to reach the hotel reception
staff i found quite rude at times
entertainment was basic local singers , only one tv in the whole complex this was situated in the lounge which was locked at 0930pm
i would never recomend this hotel to anyone
hotel tilemachos-resort dassia-location corfu greek island

staying A/I at the Talemachos Hotel Corfu. Location up a very steep hill, Sea views maybe from two rooms only, inland views from others, not specacular, pool views from the rest. Cleanliness really not good at all, dusty, dirty and very smelly. Staff if you meet young Marco he's very pleasant, as for the rest of the staff, I felt that we were an incumberance along with all other guests, there for the purpose of as much financial gain as is possible to draw from holiday makers. Entertainment local singers dancers, although we did find some humour in them. Would I visit this hotel again, ABSOLUTELY NOT, NOT EVER. On return home got an email from a couple we met, who lucky for them got to go home before us, email asked if we had completed the escape tunnel !!

Please, please don't go to this 'hotel' if you want a good holiday!! If, however, you enjoy dirty rooms, horrible food, weak booze, bolshy staff, and generally being treated as a nuisance (unless there is the possibility of them getting some money out of you!) then by all means book to go to this 'hotel'!
Never in my whole life have I stayed at such a shambles of a place. All inclusive guests are really just an inconvenience to the management as there is limited possibility of getting much more money out of them, apart from their little air con scam! This involves you being put into a filthy,stinking shoe box of a room until you give in and pay the 50euros for a weeks air con. After that you are really on your own. If you manage to get a drink from the all inc 'bar' that doesnt have a wasp swimming in it then you have achieved something I didnt manage all week! If you are a lover of olive oil on everything, then the food should be ok for you and if you are into recycling then it is even better.We played a game of 'guess whats for our next meal' this involved having a look to see what was left at the end of service and using our imaginations to decide what the chef could turn it into for the next couple of meals!! The only really nice thing on the menu was the homemade soups but even these were recycled!!
We spent a lot of time at the beach as it is lovely down there and just had a pizza from the all inc 'bar' for lunch as this was quite edible. We made the most of the all inc 'bar' by leaving it at 9.30 when it closed and walking into town...we refused to put any more money into this 'hotel' owners pockets so didnt buy anything from there, it is only a 5 min walk to some lovely bars and shops. People in town do tend to feel sorry for you when they see your all inc band on your wrist as they know where you are staying!! All in all, we had a cheap holiday but it really isnt worth it and I will definately not book again until I have read reviews on sites like this.

From arriving at the hotel the night doorman was rude and very unhelpfull we arrived at 4.30 and when we asked for some water because we did not have any he just told us "no" when we asked again because we thought he did not understand he just said we are closed and that we had to wait untill morning so we took this as we were not going to get any understanding form him.

The room was basic and dirty with no air conditioning a dirty discusting shower and toilet generally not a good standard.

The morning came and we were talking to a couple and they said that they were having a nightmare holiday and that if we were to have a hire car to get it from the hotel or the owner would be very off with us so as we had planned to hire a car we decided after the night doormans rude and unhelpfull attitude that we would book a car from them.

When we went to the hotel reception to get our all inclusive bands we were told that we were not all inclusive so we complained that we had booked all inclusive she asked us for our paperwork and we did not have it as we had handed it to the night doorman along with our passports. We stressed that we had paid for all inclusive and she said she could not find our paperwork. Eventually she found the paperwork and it did say that we were all inclusive but she still did not give us our all inclusive bands because she said it was not on her paperwork but she said she would ring office. Eventually we did get our all inclusive bands. It was at this point that we thought very bad of this hotel so i decided to tell her that we would like to book a car. Her attitude changed imediatly she could not be more helpfull if she had tried. So we booked a jeep for the week.She then said that she would give us a room upgrade with air conditioning if we wanted it we said yes and she then told us that it would be 45 euros for the air conditioning or we could stay in the room without, of corse we had to pay and we were moved the room was a little bit better but it was dirty. When we went for something to eat the dinning room was awfull the food was so greasy and basic there was no choice the food was just disgusting. when we went to the poolside the pool was dirty and you could not see the bottom it was so cloudy the sun beds were old and some of them had bits of metal sticking through the covers. When we went and got a drink from the bar we were told to pay because the all inclusive bar was the other side of the hotel. when we got a drink from the all inclusive bar ( if you could call it a bar, it was a sliding window about 5 foot wide ) all our drinks were served in plastick cups and if you were lucky they gave you a full cup. the snacks consisted of a packet of bicuits, pizza or ham/cheese toaties.

The night meal was much like breakfast only just edible and a distink lack of choice and the pudding was just one pudding. you were not allowed to serve yourself and were only given a small portion. and it was frowned upon to go up for more. But the way the food tasted you would not want more. So in the end we just ate the bread and soup and thought we would go to the poolside snack bar. when we asked for food there we were told that the food was not being seved after 8pm and it was about 8.01 so we just had a drink out of our half full plastic cups and waited for the entertainment to start. Entertainmaen started at 9.30 the all inclusive bar closed at 9.30 and when i say closed if there was a queue at exactly 9.30 they closed the window even though there was a queue so we had to buy drinks . The entertainment was poor to say the least it eas more like they had paid a very bad karaoke singer.

Bad start to our holiday things could only get better or so you would think.

The next day was much like the first day very rude staff, very poor food, very poor service, very poor entertainmaent and a swimming pool that loked like they did the laundry in it at night. And after complaining we were told by one member of staff to pack our bags and "fuckoff" if we did not like it

We spent 6 days of our holiday eating and drinking outside of this hotel
the hotel was situated at the top of a very steep hill about 2km from the main resort.

on the day we checked out of the hotel we had been asking all week to stay in the room for a late checkout we were only told on the morning that the room was booked and someone was moving in from another room and she showed us a piece of paper of who was moving in. we were also told that we could not have all inclusive as we were checked out. when we came back that night to pick up our bags and get changed we tried the room and no body was in it. We had to get showered and changed in a toilet by the pool.

There is a lot more i could say about this hotel but i think this is enough

For what was going to be a cheap gettaway for our belated honeymoon we spent so much money eating out of the hotel we spent over 500 pounds eating

We have just arrived back from what can only be classed as a holiday from hell. The Telemachos Hotel was recommended to us by a rep of a local travel company, there must have been a bet to see who could recomment the worst hotel in the brochure. Our rep definately won.

We arrived in the early hours of the morning, everyone on the coach was just herded into the recption by the people on the reception desk. One man barked at us to go to Reception one couple at a time. When it was out turn to go to the reception the staff were very rude and unhelpful we were asked if we wanted a room with air conditioning, we asked how much and were told 50 euros so we declined their offer. We were put into a FILTHY room just across from the reception area the other side of the car park. The furniture was falling apart and as soon as we opened the door of our room a stench of raw sewerage hit us, it was disgusting. We had to endure the sound of coaches arriving all night so did not get a wink of sleep. The next morning we went to Reception as instructed to get our all inclusive bands. We spoke to a very helpful German lady who we complained to and we were given alternative accommodation but all they had were rooms with air conditioning so we had no choice but to pay the 50 euros for air conditioning. We believe that putting us into such a bad room was a ploy to get guests to pay for air conditioned rooms.

The room we were eventually given was very basic and not very clean but it was away from the noise and had air conditioning. There is a new accommodation block which was full of Germans and it was pot luck whether or not you would be lucky enough to get into one of the new rooms which were spacious and well fitted out. The cleaners did not clean the rooms thoroughly and there was at least an inch of dust under the bed, and the bathroom was cramped and disgustingly dirty. The furniture was falling apartand on more that than once occassion the slats fell out from under the bed. The sheets and blankets had holes in them and it was doubtful whether they had been cleaned.

The staff in the hotel were very rude at all times they always looked extremely grumpy and were not in the least helpful, it seemed as though you were an inconvenience to them.

In the brochure we were told that the pool area was open until 7pm. From 6pm the staff would start moving the sunbeds and re-arranging the tables for the evening. If you were on a sunbed or at a table and they wanted it move they would say "you must go now I need to clear up", if you were not on the sunbed or at the table they would just throw your towels and belongings on the floor and move the sun bed or table.

The food at this resort is disgusting, it is badly cooked and geared up for German visitors and not any other visitor from any other country. Breakfast consisted of ham and cheese and salads, and a very bad attempt at an English breakfast. The English Breakfast was beans that must have been diluted as they were tasteless and disgusting, the sausages were like a frankfurter and were so tasteless and cold. The bacon and the eggs were always cold and sat in at least an inch and a half of fat. The tea and coffee served were so weak and tasteless. The staff came and poured the tea and coffee for you and if you wanted more than one cup it was frowned upon. There was a very fat man who seemed to run the restaurant who was always ranting at the staff, if a guest asked him for anything he barked at them as if he were above them and was most rude and unhelpful. When going into the restaurant you were herded into the lounge area and if you walked into the restaurant to join the queue without the permission of the staff they would shout "oi you go over there". The lounge area was dirty and in dire need of refurbishment.

The "all inclusive" option at this hotel is a joke. It is only available until 9.30pm and consists of a serving hatch at the far side of the swimming pool which serves pizza, hot dogs, sandwiches, biscuits and ice cream. The drinks served seemed to be diluted and were served in plastic cups which were only half full. The food at the resort is so bad many of the guests either eat out or eat from the "all inclusive" bar which is not very nice but a better option that the restaurant.

At 8.25pm on the nail, one of the restaurant staff race over to the "all inclusive" bar / hatch and start shouting at the staff serving to stop. The guests are shooed away as if they are a bad smell and the hatch is closed at 9.30 on the dot.

The swimming pool is a milky white, we would not go into the pool as we feared we would be ill. There is a raised well like structure at one end of the poole and when any of the staff open the hatch a smell of raw sewerage fills the area, its terrible.

We were with a few other guests finishing our dinks one evening at the normal bar which had just closed. One of the staff came over and told us "to go to bed" as we could not sit and finish off our drinks as he wanted to go home.

Whilst at this holiday hotel from hell we hired push bikes for the day. The lady at the reception once we had ordered our bikes said we were entitled to a packed lunch which she rushed off a brought back. The packed lunch consisted of a chocolate croissant and a bottle of water. On another day we asked if we could have a packed lunch as we were "all inclusive" guests and we were going out for the day. We were told it was not permitted as we had not hired a bike or a car.

If you ask for a drink at the the other bar by the pool and you are an "all inclusive" guest they refuse to serve you and very rudely point you in the direction of the serving hatch as if being an all inclusive customer is a bad thing.

We would not recommend this hotel to anyone, and would only recommend that you do not go to the Telemachos Hotel as it a filthy dirty hotel, with very very rude and unhelpful staff. We have made a complaint to the travel company are looking for compensation.

We are a well travelled couple and have stayed at many resorts with 2 star rating and never experienced anything like this before, it really is a bad advertisement for any company that advertises this hotel in their brochure.

The bad reports that you read are true and anyone who says anything else are looking through rose tinted glasses.

I have spoken to the locals there and if they knew about this web site they would tell you the truth.

The only way to enjoy Corfu is to avoid this hotel as previous complaints have fallen on deaf ears.,

The only staff who were nice are the young staff as you can understand, with the years of experience the older staff know when to turn the charm on and off but I saw through that on our first day.

This is our second package holiday and will never go on one again. I am Very well travelled, have stayed all over Europe in most major cities and a lot of towns (due to my previous job) and have always found it easier to arrive, hire a car then find the most liked part of town to stay. This will give you the security and satisfaction of choice to leave when you want.

We will do this from now on everywhere we go.

Dont pay holiday companies money for nothing, support the locals (the nice ones) there are always rooms and apartments to rent away from the main chains of hotels everywhere in the world.

We did make the best of our holiday by renting a car and going north and west of the island, we now have great experience of the island and people there who are welcoming.

Upon arrival we were taken to the reception area and checked in. We had to make our own way to our room which was in the new building. The room was fine, 1 double bed and 2 single beds in the family room which was what we had asked for. The room was cleaned everyday and there was clean sheets and towels twice a week.

We opted for the air conditioning which cost 95 euros for a fortninght stay, this we felt was a must as the temperature during our stay was between 90 and 110 degrees, especially hot during the night.

The food was basic, my children ate pizza, chips and bread n butter for the whole two week period.

The staff were okay most of the time but could become gruff and rude when other people complained.

Entertainment was basic, bingo and quiz night were okay.

The hotel is up a very steep hill which was pointed out to us when we booked but the severity of the incline was not mentioned.

All in all, there was not much to do for the children except to play on the pool table which cost 2 euros a game or the air hockey which was 1 euro a game. We were all looking forward to this holiday but it didn't live up to our expectations of an all inclusive holiday...we have had lots of experience with all inclusive holidays and we would not recommend this hotel to anyone else.

Food was like dishwater. Our room was disgusting shower water came up again through the drain in bathroom and room was full of ants.

It is situated up a very steep hill which you had to use if you wanted to get away from the hotel which is a must.

The waiters were OK but the management have got serious issues about being polite and have no people skills whatsoever.

We found them completely rude and they spoilt my 40th birthday completely.

The Telemachos Hotel in Dassia was lovely. It is situated up a steep access road with lovely private gardens and apartments lining the way (except for the shop at the bottom which was in the process of building repairs).

There are 7 accommodation blocks with great views from all of them either of the surrounding countryside with a very few sea view rooms or of the courtyard or pool or gardens.

Remember it is Greece and is in a very hilly location. The grounds and Hotel are very clean and well maintained. The food is well cooked (The chef is Scottish and understands catering in a 2 * hotel very well) although the menu is repetitive all special dietary needs are catered for.

I cannot eat any form of Chicken or Pork and as soon as the chef knew this there was always an alternative on offer. The milk for cereals at breakfast is UHT as in most parts of Greece but all other parts of Breakfast were OK with the exception of the Fried eggs.

These were cooked in the old Scottish Style, ie crispy round the edges and with a runny yolk. The lunch was a two course meal and the Evening Dinner was a three course meal with a choice of soup (only one flavour each evening but never the same any evening when we were there), at least 5 sorts of salad, 2 choices of meat, 5 choices of vegetable and 1 type of desert.

There was either red or white local wine on offer at both lunch and dinner time served in jugs from which you helped yourself or jugs of water to help yourself from. At the end of the dinner service area there was orange juice on offer for breakfast and lunch. A waiter served either tea or coffee at your table and you helped yourself to at the salad bar.

The facilities were very good for a 2*hotel with a twice weekly change of bedding and towels. I only had one complaint during the week I stayed there,(the towel I was issued when the sheets and towels were changed was dirty).

When I took the dirty towel to reception the receptionist took it off me and ran to fetch a clean one. He apologised to me both before fetching a clean one and afterwards. The owners wife is German and the owner Greek. Both her parents and her children work in the hotel.

Many of the guests I spoke to have visited the hotel on many occasions and have become friendly with the staff.

The entertainment was pretty good for a 2* hotel with two duos singing, a single pianist, a Greek night, a disco and a karaoke evening.

There were 2 outdoor bars both of which were well stocked with alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks one of which was for all inclusive guests and one of which was for all other guests.

These were open from 10 am to 8 pm and the indoor bar was open from 8 pm untill late although free drinks for all inclusive guests stopped at 9.30pm.

Definitely a place I would visit again.