Hi Carol, I will join you with a G & T.
Elaine xx

Carol, What were the G & Ts doing in the pond? Were you stocking up for the pond cruise?

How many tokens do we have to collect for these cruises on offer?

Probably millions Jennie! How could they afford to sell them so cheaply otherwise!

.....and will someone be there to sign for them?

Morning All

I'm so very flattered that my Back Garden Cruise on the good ship Much Better Intent has attracted so much interest.

Peter A, your questions will be dealt with in the T&Cs, which are currently being drawn up by my solicitors, Fixit Nogood and Rotten. I am assured they will be available by the end of 2006.

They will cover all issues you have raised - from towels, sun loungers, tents, sleeping bags, showers, supplements, vets' certificates etc.

Meanwhile, may I assure Peter A, da mama, dizzy, dogleap, craig, Tony W, Magsy, Elaine M, JennieL and all subsequent enquirers that your details have been logged in my database. Unfortunately, it is currently out of action due to hurricanes in the Caribbean and gremlins eating away in its innards. The fact that I have listed your names does NOT, repeat NOT, imply a cruise allocation, and MOST CERTAINLY NOT a cruise confirmation.

TonyW, I am most concerned that you have had the guts to set up in direct competition with me.

All applicants will be overjoyed to learn that tokens will definitely NOT be required, as I am too lazy to sign for them.

STOP PRESS: My solicitors have just informed me that I should not offer tents or sleeping bags, as I have a superior type of weed in my Back Garden, which I am assured is the most comfortable to be had anywhere. I have insisted, during my Ship's latest refurbishment, that brand new steps are installed in order to enable Passengers to see over the fences on BOTH SIDES, as they too have types of weed which will delight you infinitely.

Any applicants who wish to book a DEFINITE date will have to submit all their bank details (see my original offer) before being put onto the Allocations List - once I have checked their authenticity, you will be given a firmer offer - which, of course, may mean neither an allocation nor a confirmation.

I do hope this helps......

Fay

Perhaps your data base suffered the same problem as Barclay's Bank. They used the clock's being put forward as a possible reason for problems with drawing money. I hope a certain travel company do not have the same problem.

Maureen H.

Well Maureen, I found that a certain travel company was able to put my money into their bank in an instant! The database problems only appear to start when refunding transfers, etc ...

Hello Lyddym (from page 47) ......if you are still here!

Quite frankly, I doubt it, as you must think you have entered fantasy land. Mind you, trying to obtain a cruise is a kind of fantasy and as you can see it's sent us all mad.

You came on here looking for help - have you completed the HT direct link email to Rise? I'm not sure if it's still available - the only other plan I can think of is to keep phoning the Express. You may have to do this on a daily basis or try sending an e-mail to Emma Pearce as this sometimes seems to work. All these phone numbers are listed in the 'useful numbers' section of index.

Please feel free to join in one of our virtual cruises - I just hope you eventually get the real thing!

Alli

Hello Lyddym (from page 47) ......if you are still here!

(Well spotted Alli!)

Hi Lyddym,

The last few pages of daftness are only filling in the spaces when there is no real news or progress in the DE cruise offer, so don`t be put off!!

Everybody on here is truly interested in how you are getting on with your Cruise application.......have you had any kind of reply from rise or Daily Express yet? Have you used the HolidayTruths/Rise direct link?

You are probably only one of many who have not had any response at all and if you give up now it just plays into their hands: Keep plugging away, very few got a cruise without being persistent!

TonyW

hi all,
lets hope that once r*** have had a rest over easter that they will come back to sorting out peoples cruises with gusto! oops sorry MSC. they all will be nice and fresh from the absence of ringing telephones and raring to go
with a lot of luck we may see more confirmed cruises this week.
ann

Yes, perhaps this is the "calm before the storm"........oooops, did I say "storm"?!

Hi Everyone

I see that since my earlier post, interest in my Back Garden Cruise has dropped off. Was it something I said??????????????

I have pleasure in announcing details of some of the Entertainment which will be on offer:- A member of the losing team in the World Cup final of 1966 will teach us German Football Chants. Napoleon will speak to us from beyond the grave. The REAL Mary Poppins will explain what life is like in her World of Unreality. We will have demonstrations by a premier team of Line Dancers. We will be shown Operatic Techniques of the 13th Century by an expert in the field (me - although I have yet to convince anybody else of my expertise in the field, or indeed of my vocal prowess).

There has been a slight setback: my solicitors have informed me that if I continue to implicate them they will sue me AND get this thread closed down. I have therefore had no alternative than to appoint a new firm, Grabbit Dumpit and Innocent. Their overwhelming popularity in the criminal world has led to a large workload, which means that T&Cs may not be available before 2010.

I will keep you posted with varying degrees of regularity, on all (or maybe some) further developments.

Fay's Enterprises

Yes, perhaps this is the "calm before the storm"........oooops, did I say "storm"?!

Oh, not another 'Force Majeur''Force Majeur' 'Force Majeur''Force Majeur'

Hi

At the age of 74 I have just put my name down for a "can't cook - would like to cook course" at our local College.

I would, therefore, like to put my name down to act as chef-in-charge at any forthcoming garden or pond cruise as the experience would do me the world of good. In addition it would also allow me to enter for the next 'Master Chef at Large' on tv.

Hope my application is succesful.
LL

Now there's a brave man! Aren't you afraid the Alternative Cruise providers will charge you a supplement for breathing their air?

Re the Garden Cruises. Have you booked your appearance on Watchdog , Working Lunch or You and Yours yet to defend your booking policies ?

Just checked the brochure seems I've got the 'hoe down' special on this garden cruise, at least its more fun than line dancing!

Tony's cruises look like loads of hidden extras, day excursions to Harrods must cost a fortune. Still waiting for his brochure, Alii he hasn't sent you a spare one by any chance.
All them night excursions on the Tom cruises, haven't found a price for the extras on that one!

Spoke to Fay at fantasy cruises. She was very nice but had trouble checking the data base. Her telephone number was 0907 *removed* 118 118. Ask for Fay if you get through.
Website http: //www .fantasy cruises.co.uk

Peter